UKH

Hi All,

Me and my soon to be wife are both climber and belay partners to boot.

Our wedding is a few months away and we were looking at readings for the ceremony and the usual stuff just does not cut the mustard so...

Do any of you good people know of a good climbing poem for this kind of occasion?

maybe about belay partners?? (or holding ropes forever and not letting them fall/down - her words )

Lee.

In reply to Low Roller 1-1:

If you ever marry a climber
Make sure you leave plenty of slack
Enough rope to safeguard each other
Not too tight to hold each other back

Remember it’s a very big mountain
So set out with commitment and hope
And at those tricky ice-covered sections
You can always provide a tight rope

It’s always a difficult question
Who should second and who should lead
If the man leads & dies it’s his own fault
If he triumphs it’s her advice he did heed.

And if he’s wise he will always take cover
When the rocks from her sweet lips doth fly
Best invest in a well-padded helmet
And hold tight till the storm has passed by

She in turn should always admire
His masterful athletic guile
The male ego is prone to bruise easily
So, if he falls, say he did it with style

Be open and honest and trusting
Don’t wait till your knees start to shake
Don’t get stuck high up on an overhang
Then shout down ‘I’ve made a mistake!’

Be a bouldering mat to each other
Be the chalk that makes problems no sweat
Spot with arms soft yet firm as oak branches
Be an emotionally strong safety net

Married Bliss Peak is a mountain
With a summit a long way above
But it’s a climb that’s full of adventure
And you’ll make it if you climb it with love.

In reply to Marc C:
wow what a great first reply do you know who its by?

Thank you very much Marc.

Lee.

In reply to Low Roller 1-1: er, me!

In reply to Low Roller 1-1:

its Mr Marc Chrysanthou

A leg-end on these forums - but a modest chap to boot!

I would go with his work - there ain't much finer!

si

In reply to Simon & Marc C:

Tee hee hee - I have the owl and the cragrat upstairs but can't get to it at the mo as have just moved house, it was on the list to find it out.

Is that poem in there or another book.

Gen has just read the above poem and loves it, thanks again.

Lee.

In reply to Low Roller 1-1: Glad you like it. No, it's not in The O & C - just a poem I wrote a while back when someone else asked for a wedding poem!

In reply to Low Roller 1-1:

When jamming your fists into a crack,
Don't be distracted by your wife's rack,

With a big pair of nuts she's sure to feel fine,
Just reach for the jugs - married life is sublime!

Fisting up a mossy groove,
Getting pumped move by move,

On those cold winter days make sure your shaft is straight,
It will make plunging just feel great!

Be sure to use protection from the very start,
Too much commitment will flutter your heart.

Friction is good, it helps you to stick,
Now that you are settled, you're free of red tip.

-Anon

In reply to Low Roller 1-1:

There once was a climber called Lee
Who always fell off at E3
He wasn't right fit
And what's he ever done on grit?
Now maybe he'll stay at home with his Wii.

I'll get my coat....

In reply to Bingers:

Have you been following me?????????????

In reply to Chad H:

That's golden.

In reply to jackcarr:

its alittle more stag do that wedding reading

In reply to Marc C:
just a poem I wrote a while back when someone else asked for a wedding poem!

Which may have been me We had it as part of our wedding speeches. I spent a year trying to find anything out there as a reading or poem of exactly the style you're looking for for our wedding and failed. Until Mr C posted this about a week before the wedding I know that I have since seen something - but can't for the life of me remember what it was. That's not very helpful is it.

We have 'if you ever marry a climber' framed in our bedroom. (it's my secret shrine to Mr C really!).

In reply to Low Roller 1-1:

There was a young man from China,
Who wasn't a very good climber
He fell off his rock
And broke his cock
and now he's got a vagina

(sorry)

In reply to Marc C: Brilliant!