UKH

I'm doing a fat bike race in Norway in a few weeks and the rules say I have to carry 1000kcal of emergency food. This is in addition to the normal food I'll have to fuel myself during the race. 

Anyone got any suggestions for particularly energy dense foods that will still be edible in sub zero temperatures? 

Tempted just to pack a block of lard but if there was actually an emergency situation I'm not sure I'd actually be able to eat it...

Kendal Mint Cake? - I could eat it in an emergency, but would never eat for pleasure! It doesn't freeze hard and remains accessible. I love a Snickers, but they are teeth-breaking below 0˚. Ideally the source should be available as although fats are energy dense they are likely to be quite slowly digested in a potential emergency situation.

Marzipan, peanut butter, dried fruit and nuts or chocolate are all high cal and should stay edible. 

Christmas pudding, with brandy butter.

Should be able to pick one up cheap at this time of year 

High5 energy bars are quite good, as they taste good and are edible at all temperatures.

Avoid the SIS ones - when cold, they'll break your teeth/when hot, they're a sticky mess!

Good point on glycemic index there, hadn't really thought about the implications of having to eat my emergency food in those terms!

Be careful not to use things that you like too much. I used to use marzipan, but I love the stuff and inevitably end up eating it early!

UKC officially backs you up on that one.
https://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/skills/series/food/festive_leftovers_an...

If it's only 1000 kcal would a few Mars bars do? They used to be the go-to when I was a young caver. Store them in a pocket next to your body. Blocks of jelly were also favoured (but not by me).

These people do various nut butters in a sachet. The only caveat, is that they need to be kept warm or they gunk up. So stick them in an inside pocket and you can nibble as you go. I've not tried the bars, but they seem packed with calories.

https://resilientnutrition.com/collections/all

Or Aldi etc, do chocolate covered marzipan logs. They may be on discount from xmas. They have more calories than mint cake.

Excellent, I hadn't actually seen that article. Very funny. 

To the OP, would be worth some serious kudos if you rocked up with a Christmas dinner in a cliplock tub. 

Dried food is good....dried fruits such as dates, raisins etc wrapped in Marzipan.

When I lived in northern Norway we used to make these as small rolls with thick honey to bind the fruits and roll in marzipan....high cals and edible in a tight spot!

I remember reading that cheese is among the most energy dense foods there is and it was the favorite emergency food item carried by those cycling the Iditarod trail races in Alaska. (Of course, you're hoping not to have to actually eat your emergency food!)

Funny you should mention the Iditarod, this race is a qualifying event (you need to do two qualifying races to enter).

It's my first event of this kind though so will see how it goes before getting any big ideas...

Thanks for all the suggestions, quite liking Christmas pud as I'm not a huge fan so won't be too tempted to dig in and if I find the right size I reckon it would fit really nicely in the awkward space at the bottom of my frame bag

Tunnocks caramel wafers work when frozen

Walrus blubber?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/jan/03/thor-walrus-back-sea-overni...

When prepping for the Appalachain Trail a few years back, I remember someone had done some research into the most calorific/lightest-weight food you could get regularly at most places. I'm sure the Honeybun came out on top. 

Problem is that they're quite bulky even though light. 135g in weight and 560 cal (approx 415cal/100g)

Kendal Mint cake comes in at 379cal/100g but is a lot less bulky. 

Then it has to be Scandinavian Rotten Fish.

300g of Surstromming is 1000cal. Yummy.

I beg to differ, a caramel wafer can be hard work when frozen!

IRC Honey roasted peanuts are about the best value, you'd need 200g, the don't freeze and they are flexible in their packing.  Ghastly to eat though.

Macadamia nuts are 718 calories /100g. 

If you're likely not going to use it, then a small bottle of olive oil might be better than a block of lard. 

Also, I know this not necessarily in the spirit, but who checks whether it's emergency or not? Are you expected to finish with your emergency food intact, unless there has been an emergency? Could you just say a portion of your actual food is 'emergency food' and eat it or would you be disqualified? 

Pack of mini pork pies?

They dont freeze, and are full of lard - but yet tasty.

I’m no expert, but recall listening to something about how we dont absorb so many calories from nuts, which is why eating almonds is good for weight loss.

Peperammi?  112 calories from 22.5 Grammes  

My lad followed this very line on an Explorer Scout's competition night hike at the end of 2022, all his mates brought gels and sachets and energy drinks. He brought a 12 pack of M&S sausage rolls, a packet of mini scotch-eggs, a bag of jelly babies, and a mini flask of what was essentially maaaaaaaany hot espresso shots (which must have tasted rank, but . . .)

Guess who had a far more satisfying snack at their checkpoint stops  

I love it too. I used to get into trouble for nicking it out of the baking cupboard when I was a kid 😋

My sister made Christmas cakes for several family members this year. She obviously knows me well, because she piled all the marzipan trimmings from the other ones onto mine before icing it  

Yes, that would certainly stop me from picking on it throughout the day!

Pringles are surprisingly calorific. One 200g tube = 1000 calories. Plus you can crush them into a sandwich bag for minimal pack size.

Reduced to clear at the moment. Issue is they're probably too tasty to last as emergency food!

tin of full cream rice pudding

The Mrs occasionally buys me these to leave in my van. I can go 2 days on one. Veery buttery flavour. 

https://snackfully.co.uk/products/traybakes-luxury-slices-granola-bar-12-ca...

I make my own flapjack for Norway winters, the key is to swap some oats for ground brazil nuts and go big on golden syrup and chocolate topping. Dont wrap it in foil as it gets in your teeth and cling film doesn't cling so good when coated in grease and frozen. 

Also cheese saved Adrian Mole when his hill walking trip was washed-out in what, the mid eighties? Good precedent for fat biking in Norway I'm sure.

In reply to JessieJim:

And they're small enough to shove up your @rse for an emergency! Works a treat I'm told

Pretty much in every packed lunch I make (well, the Aldi version these days). Spread with butter for extra kcals.

Used to carry shortbread for Scottish winter climbing.  Easy to pack, not unpleasant to eat when cold and rammed with calories.  If I've googled correctly, roughly 200g should give you the required amount of calories.

I'm intrigued to know what sort of emergency requires one to shove nuts up one's arse?

How else are you meant to lure the squirrel back out?

Nuts.  A little chocolate. Cheese. Fruit cake

Works for me 

Maybe already suggested but sometimes I use baklava: filo pastry, chopped nuts and honey

I freeze mini pork pies all the time. I tend to eat one a day - or half of one a day if I'm not cycling into work - as part of my packed lunch. They are hard to eat until unfrozen. I do use them a lot for long bike rides though as they are always super-palatable for me. 

I'd have thought a high fat option like salami would work well as a slow burn emergency option.