UKH

I have an interview coming up and have been wired off that I'm expected to give a SWOT presentation on myself.

I'm comfortable boning up the usual type of interview questions. But have never had to carried out a SWOT on myself.

Any pointers or help gratefully accepted ?

In reply to goldmember:

Good lord.

Strengths - can fart the Marseillaise
Weaknesses - faint when you get an erection
Opportunities - you've heard Barbara from accounts is game for a bit of extra-curricular fun
Threats - Dodgy Dave is after you for selling him crystal meth cut with Tesco blue and white stripy self-raising flour

In reply to goldmember:

Make sure your flies are open. It will distract the interviewer

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths - you have a gold member
Weaknesses - maintaining an erection is difficult due to the weight
Opportunities - melting it down for cash
Threats - melting it down for cash.

In reply to Yanis Nayu:



Are you available for functions?

In reply to goldmember:

Remember Mr Member, always lie at interviews....

Strengths - I am 8 feet tall

Weaknesses - puppies, and chocolate, ideally one covering the other...

Opportunities - if you give me this job there is a chance the man will let me out of the cell for longer each day

Threats - ask me one more question and I will kill you


Hope that helps!

In reply to goldmember:
Make your weakness something smarmy that others can exploit to their own end

Do a swot analysis and spin that shit as a much as possible

Oh, and watch Trainspotting' s interview scene with Spud, amphetamines optional

In reply to goldmember:
Strengths: stuff on the job spec that you do well. Quick learner, set up for...
Weakness: something that isn't your forte but can be easily learnt by a quick learner such as yourself.
Opportunity: what you bring to their business, what you gain from having a job there too. Experience, applying knowledge in diff way etc
Threats: natural disasters and/or other candidates, but please refer to part S and part O to prove your worth over other candidates.

Ps remember you're interviewing them too, seems like a strange one

In reply to Yanis Nayu:

I'm not in the frame for an interview but if I was I'd have no idea what SWOT meant.

In reply to Stichtplate:


And is it just the Marseillaise or do you do requests?

In reply to goldmember:

When I shake hands before an interview I normally have a five pound note concealed in my palm

In reply to birdie num num:


Do you sell yourself THAT cheaply?

Fail, no sense of worth.

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths - accounts
Weaknesses - eczema
Opportunities - DJing at parties
Threats - bad scotch eggs.

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths - I'm very good at what I do, blah blah blah.
Weaknesses. I sometimes get upset with people who don't pull their weight, or sometime people say I pay too much attention to detail. (Basically all positive things spun as a weakness).
Opportunities. I think my ability to learn quickly gives me the ability to take on new challenges and my persistence allows me to see those challenges through to a positive conclusion. (You get the picture).
Threats. I haven't spent much time learning my delicate slab climbing technique (or anything else very much not related to the job). My knowledge of the 1997 version of Lotus 123 is a little rusty. etc.

Don't be honest or realistic, just tell people good things, but spun as a weakness.

In reply to aln:


Turn up in full police tactical gear and then explain apologetically that oh, "SWOT", you thought they meant "SWAT".

In reply to goldmember:
More seriously, if I was asked to talk about weaknesses in a job interview, I'd try to talk about things that are genuine weaknesses rather than obvious bullshit like "sometimes I get distracted by how awesome I am", but also try to make them things that are easily fixable gaps in knowledge or experience rather than fundamental character flaws.

Although, depending on what my other options were, if they were asking for that sort of stuff in interviews then I'd also be subtly trying to identify whether this was a company with a BS-laden management and HR culture that I wouldn't want to work for in the long run anyway. But then that might not be a luxury that you have!

In reply to BAdhoc:


If you're aware of the weakness, and it's easy to learn, why have you not learnt it yet...?

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths: Acurate Report Writing.
Weaknesses: Bladder.
Opportunities: I'll abuse them.
Threats: The Police.

In reply to Yanis Nayu:

What's with this 'Threats' shit at interviews?

Something like, if you're really, really lucky, and you've got your head screwed on, you'll hire me now?

In reply to goldmember:



Haven't they just firmly ruled themselves out of your candidate field of potential employers? Sack off that shit.

In reply to captain paranoia:

Priorities hadn't got to the top of the list yet.

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths - something relevant - talk most on this
Weaknesses
- Chocolate, and/or
- "Like all people i have weaknesses, but when I become aware of one I do something about it". If pressed - "I used to identify weaknesses in interviews, but now I don't". Smile - f.off, you're going to have to do better than that
Opportunities - the job in question - for both parties
Threats - the offer you make me isn't good enough

In reply to goldmember:

Strengths - Can fly and have xray vision
Weaknesses - Kryponite
Opportunities - to save the world
Threats - Zog and Lex Luther

In reply to goldmember:

Do you have a very tall friend and a bear costume?