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Parenting books

This topic has been archived, and won't accept reply postings.
 Pullhard 17 Nov 2020

Lockdown has shown that my better half is an amazing parent and I... I could do with improving. Could anyone recommend any parenting books, podcasts or online resources? Nippers are aged 2 & 5 

Post edited at 09:39
In reply to Pullhard:

Could you not follow your better half's lead?

3
 James Gilbert 17 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

There's so much literature on the subject, especially when you add on all the blogs, podcasts and instagram accounts, it's hard to know where to start.

A couple of classics that I'd recommend are How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish, and Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.

 lithos 17 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

https://www.amazon.co.uk//dp/0857862650

no personal exp but might entertain ...

 mary 17 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

Another one for:

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish

My lad would say 'That mum should read your book when he heard mums yelling their children.'

It has cartoons that children can understand.

Post edited at 13:32
 Phil4000 17 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

The book you wish your parents had read by  Phillipa Perry

hold onto your kids by Gabor Maté

 SAF 17 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

Sarah ockwell Smith - The gentle parenting book is a good overview of attachment parenting and other evidenced based parenting methods. Her gentle discipline book is really good too. She also has detailed books on sleep, eating, potty training, starting school, and arrival of second children if you need more detail on a certain area of parenting.

In reply to SAF:

I am also very in tune with Sarah Ockwell Smith. She has a huge range of books on a range of topics and each one is supported and guided by evidence from robust studies. It's amazing in that often you read something and think 'yes, well that's obvious'. However equally there are often passages that really challenge the way you do things. An example of this is around food in 'gentle eating'. We have had problems with one our children who is fussy and her advice has helped us understand it and taught us several tricks to help deal with it. Has it fixed his fussy eating? Obviously not, there is no silver bullet but it has helped a lot. 

Anyway, yes. Sarah OS another vote here, well worth a read. Her website is also very good. You can find a lot of her books second hand too

In reply to Pullhard:

My approach to parenting books is to line them up on the shelf and tell them to stand up straight!

Otherwise, I played it by ear apart from a brilliantly practical (but rather medical) book called 'The Normal Child' by Ronald Illingworth.  This is great for early developmental milestones and common childhood illnesses but yours are probably too old for it to be much use to you.

 Babika 19 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

I thought "Raising Boys" was fantastic.

Especially if you're not one

 Hardonicus 19 Nov 2020
In reply to SAF:

Has she got a book on the arrival of the fourth child? Cos I'm really in the fckuing shit now...

In reply to captain paranoia:

Okay, so my comment attracted dislikes.

My point was that if the OP's other half seems to have a natural aptitude for parenting, then why not use that ability to create a consistent parenting front, which will help prevent sending 'mixed messages' to the children.

Not only that, but going out and buying parenting books might be seen as criticism of the other half's parenting.

 wintertree 19 Nov 2020
In reply to captain paranoia:

> which will help prevent sending 'mixed messages' to the children.

I would say the key to that is open communication between parents including agreeing in advance that you will be open to the other parent raising an issue without getting defensive or annoyed.

This is important because small children are naturally crafty little buggers, genetically pre-programmed to seek out and exploit any and all human weakness to their advantage.  This came as a bit of a surprise to me. I’d assumed people got worse as they got older; it turns out they just revert to wild type behaviour.

In reply to wintertree:

> I would say the key to that is open communication between parents

I'd taken that as read, if you're hoping to learn from a partner. I wasn't suggesting simply trying to observe; you need to understand the thinking.

 wintertree 19 Nov 2020
In reply to captain paranoia:

I agree; I was more amplifying part of what you said in the context of where I think it matters the most.

> you need to understand the thinking.

The difficulty there is that for some people parenting is very alien, and for some others it’s very intuitive.  If you ask the later to explain their thinking they may well just do a goldfish impression and look confused as they start questioning *why* they do the things they do.

For me, a really good educational/vocational book (on any subject) comes from someone who has that uncommon combination of intuition, a reasoned understanding of their intuition and good communication skills.  

 ogreville 20 Nov 2020
In reply to Pullhard:

The Gentle Potty Training Book: The Calmer, Easier Approach to Toilet Training. The only child book I’ve ever read.

Who says you are not an amazing parent? We are all different in our parenting style. I’m sure you bring different things to the table than your partner. 

Climbers make the best parents! Not afraid to let their kids....errr...climb on stuff! Allow their kids to explore and take risks. Actually get their kids out and about to appreciate the great outdoors and nature.

....and most important of all, climbers are methodical and good with kit. Packing up a baby/toddler for a day out is just like racking up. Everything has a purpose and a specific place. 

Post edited at 23:03
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