UKH

I can understand you probably couldnt wait to get the shitty things off your arse but why didn't you put them in a fecking bag and take them with you? The cromlech boulders are not a toilet. In most of the areas out of view of the road there are either disgarded toilet papers or uncovered turds. It's becoming disgusting. What is wrong with people? 

Diarrhoea?

Boulderers are mucky b@stards.

Shitty knickers appear under my front hedge pretty much every Sunday morning, sometimes in multiples. I even keep a special stick and paper bags so I can incinerate the damn things without going anywhere near. This has become worse over the last few years, I'm guessing young ladies taking fat-blocking supplements then heading into town for several gallons of lager and a huge kebab.

It's more likely the "wild campers" with their 6 man tent pitched up across the road.

Where do you live? This sounds grim.

Like the tale of the mad pooper" 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mad_Pooper

Unfortunately I live just after a rather strenuous (for non hill walkers) hill climb from one of the few all-night bus routes out of Derby. They get to the top of the hill, have five minutes and a fag on the bench and then desperation sets in.

Or outrageously expensive VW vans. 

What a load of shit!

where do you live, next door to the crapatorium?

If you would choose to live near Derby!

None of that business in Chester Green thankfully, evidently they are still sat on the bus at that point!

What happens to the shits they have?

We are talking Type 7 here.