UKH

"Like a bad cold, the whole thing left me angrily dribbling snot, wondering why I couldn't taste anything else at all". Fliss Freeborn trials dehydrated chillis from seven brands... with varying results. Which resembled dog sick, which smelled like a dead skunk dipped in Marmite, and which was almost as good as real food?

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Thanks for the suffering!

Must admit I don’t particularly care about taste as long as it’s edible. It’s the calories for me.

My camping is normally just one or two nights so I’m not really fussed about the macros too much either.

I use the Exped Foods stuff for dinner and Bla Band for breakfast.

Although Huel is definitely not cheap, the hot and savoury meals are excellent value compared to these outdoorsy-branded ones. The Mac and Cheese is a great, filling meal after a day on the hills.

Brilliantly well written.  I really have no idea why british dehydrated meals are so poor in taste, calories and nutrition.  I've eaten way too many of all the poor ones while working in the mountains and was blown away by how much higher the quality was on a recent trip to the states.

rubbish Dehydrated meals can be made a whole lot better by adding copious amounts of cheese and some chilli sauce and I've found its worth adding 10-20% to any times and water amounts specified on the packets.  Smash works as a good bulking agent too once the main meal is hydrated.

Great article, really love the writing style!

By far and away the worst food experience I've ever had was with a dehydrated tropical fruit porridge for breakfast camping in the Peak (fortunately for them the brand name escapes me!). As soon as I poured the water in it smelt of vomit. Not just a hint – like I'd just thrown up in my mouth and swallowed it. For some reason I decided to try and taste it and it didn't get any better so I binned the whole thing...

I don't think I'll ever buy another dehydrated meal again, would rather sacrifice the weight and eat something decent, regardless of the trip.

I enjoyed reading this. Wonderful writing. 

Thank you for 'taking one for the team' by testing some of these 'food' items.

Enjoyed the article and found your phrasing amusing and insightful. Thank you.

+1 for the Blackadder reference.

Terrifically well written.  Hell may have to freeze over before I venture within a long day's walk of any of these, but now I know which ones to avoid; all of them, bar one.

T.

Surprised to see the slating of Expedition foods, admittedly I've not had thier chili but found the 4 or 5 other main meal I've eaten rather good for taste.

Ps these are freeze dried rather than dehydrated 

Excellent - most honest outdoor "equipment" review ever.

Now, is it a coincidence that I don't remember ever seeing an advertisement for dehydrated meals on here? And presumably never will now either.

Yes, we use Expedition foods high energy range as they're as good as anything available and have more calories. They also do a good range of breakfasts and desserts.

So, you're a good writer. Well I don't think you've added much to the debate. There's no shortage of smart and witty remarks but a lot more constructive criticism would be more effective. 

As said above the baseline is that the food is edible. Considering you've denaegrted so many people's efforts are you really sure about your conclusions? I've eaten several of these brand and whilst not posh scam they've always proved adequate for the situation.

Mountaintrails is my preferred brand.

Or you could go to your local supermarket and get 2x mugshots.  438kcal, 4g fat, 84.5g carbs, 13.6g protein, 128g dry weight £1.40. If you really want the energy eat 3 packs.

Or any number of far cheaper tasty alternatives. Why anyone buys any of this overpriced muck is beyond me - if you get dinner with desert and breakfast you could easily be spending £20 per day on the stuff!

Bring back Springlow curry I say!

First time I had Exped Chilli con carne was Saturday night 9 days ago. I was cold and hungry and I thought as dehydrated meals go it was one of the better ones! 800 Cal's in a lightweight format too. Surprised how negative the review is here.

I did think it needed a bit more water than the instructions said, due to dry patches remaining at the bottom on the recommended volume of water. I'd recommend Exped Chilli 

It's an expensive way to eat for sure, the main benefit in my opinion is the convenience factor that it comes on the big plastic seal strip bag suitable for hydrating and eating and convenient seal for shipping out again with lower risk of food leak in the rucksack. Also there's variety like hot custard and fruit desert gloop stuff.

Personally I use a mix of cheap supermarket choices with a few more expensive purpose made dehydrated meals in the mix for variety. They have their place, but agreed you don't "need" them.

What's your top tip for bivvy food then Bob?

We had a load of the Real Turmat ones on a trip to Chile 3 years ago and the Chile con Carne was the least exciting for the reasons given - you basically need to just add a bit more water and wait a bit longer. The other recipes all seemed a touch better and we all thought they were perfectly edible.

I've also recently had the Lyo ones when on a long route in Chamonix and they were also pretty good. I like cooking and often do fairly elaborate food even when camping in far flung places, but for near instant, waterproof, light bivvy food the better freeze dried meals are (IMO) a good option.

I would go with the authors other alternative suggestions before budget supermarket packet snacks....... I tried one of these for lunch once, I really wouldn't want 3 for dinner.

In general I will pay more (whether that's time or money) for taste, nutrition, texture and variety of ingredients. I found the article interesting as I'm curious if paying more does deliver these when it comes to 'space food'. Difficult as taste and texture are subjective...... but your above suggestion is lacking in variety and protein compared to those reviewed.

Do tell... I'm genuinely curious.

Adequate is the key word here.  Some people, such as the author, want something that's a bit better than adequate.  Eating to live is necessary but for some people it should be a pleasure as well, and then adequate just doesn't cut the mustard.  If all you have waiting for you when you pitch your tent is adequate rather than desirable, then those last miles may drag rather than be something getting you closer to a food reward.

I think the descriptions given of the products tested provide a good deal of constructive criticism but this is for the manufacturers in the first instance, not you.  The conclusions are there to help inform your product choice.

T.

Flavoured cous cous x 3-4 100gr packs and a cooked smoked sausage or chorizo sliced does two of us for dinner and costs a fraction of the freeze dried stuff,  tastes great and has plenty calories and protein too. 

A bit less convenient as you need a container or a heavy duty bag to rehydrate the cous cous in too. I usually pack a tuperware type tub for this. Shove the cous cous in its packet in the tub before eating as it makes sure it doesn't get wet or the packet bursts and then chuck any rubbish in the tub once done eating. 

Quick cooking pasta with whatever you like chucked in for taste - salami, cheese, anchovies......

See my reply to Mike Stretford.

I can just about see the point of them for an actual bivvy on a climb, but what baffles me is people prepared to pay for them for routine camping/backpacking. And don't get me started on kids turning up with a carrier bag full of them for D of E.....

The only time I've eaten them was when we got a free load of them for a trip to Greenland. I have to admit that I found all of them pretty tasty (though I am very unfussy about food!). But I needed at least two of them for a half decent helping - the cost would be eye-watering to actually pay for them for a trip!

Yeah I would go with something like that, but I'd use good chorizo so it wouldn't be much cheaper. I'd class that as tasting ok.

This is it, I'd consider these freeze dried meals for when I really wanted to carry less and have the least faff. I could see circumstance where there would be some appeal to just needing the packet, a fork and hot water....... if there is one that actually tastes nice then in those circumstances I'd pay a few quid for the convenience. I haven't tried one since the 90s, so I found the review useful.

As you say you are  'very unfussy about food'. I'd want to jazz that up a fair bit and get enough protein in so I'd end up carry a few bits and something to cook it in. Not really comparing like with like.

I was just thinking of bivvying on climbs, so really just a matter of getting enough calories for a couple of days or so. Obviously it is easy to be more elaborate when camping.

Now that's proper solo camping food. I can't remember the last time I actually ate a dehydrated meal. probably in the late 70's when I did the pennine way with the Venture scouts.  

I'd leave the pasta out, hate the stuff! Guess my last dehydrated meal was a Vesta curry in the 60's until!!

Offroad touring a couple of years ago on motorbikes with a couple of guys from Denmark, one was a well known adventure blogger and his girlfriend worked for Denmark's biggest adventure gear company so had boxes of the stuff. Chicken Tikka Masala for breakfast and so on was order of the day.

No matter which company made the stuff it was inevitably rubbish, tasted like used kitty-litter and had nowhere near enough calories. My solution these days (admittedly the last 50g isn't relevant as it isn't on my back) is foil-bagged Indian food with a small tin of cooked chicken  or mackerel filets with either quick rice or some chapattis/wraps. The saviour for all this junk is I carry some 5ml eyedropper bottles with tabasco/Lea and Perrins/chilli sauce etc. Or I go 20km to a decent restaurant!

Last time for me was my summer ml training a few years ago. Even then the lodge instructors told us to enhance them with packet soup and oatcakes. Didn’t rate them at all.

If it’s just an overnighter then a 6 pack of Lidl mini pork pies everytime(my body is a temple)

See in that kind of situation I'd go for one of these products over your suggestion, just the ingredients list looks better and it is less stuff the carry. It's so rare I do anything like that a few quid for something tastier and less faff seems like a no brainer.

Most post are only looking at the odd night or two where you can take anything really. What if you're going away for longer trips, two or three weeks. The weight of boil in the bag or sausages would be far to high and may not keep.  

An honest review about some pretty poor quality products.

I had a bad experience with one of the firepot meals last summer when I realised that I had packed the wrong gas canister which had hardly any fuel left in so I had to have a cold one, it was only made edible by chopping pepperamis into it.

My preference for camping meals is a pack of the ainsley harriot cous cous, a sachet of pasta sauce and a couple of the tuna pouches sold as jacket potato toppers (or one of the plastic fridge pots) if I am going light.

For those looking for chili hit, I'd suggest paying a visit to your local chinese supermarket, and pick up noodles (or other things) with flames and chilis on them.

I'm a big chorizo fan; sweat out the fat to fry stuff in; an onion, a pepper, etc. I also have a dehydrator, which does onion, pepper, mushrooms, etc. Rehydration takes a good soak, or just accept a bit of crunch...

Cinnamon, sultana & cashew porridge in the morning, pre-mixed and cosy cooked. Hot chocolate, again pre-mixed, using Nido milk powder.

Shame no Bla Band. It is by far the best I have tried. Their Indian chicken is yum. The only problem is the long bags don't fit in my pot cosy. 

I find the Real Turmat too much for a single portion for me but quite tasty. I can never finish a pack and what is left weighs more than an unopened pack to carry out. 

The expedition foods has been a disaster everytime I've tried it. Peas or beans like bullets usually and that is after leaving double the time. I think they need to look at the amount of water needed.

I've heard mixed reviews of the firepot meals. I may give them a try. Lyo is very tasty but as mentioned does lack the old calories. 

It is all a change when it used to be a vesta from the supermarket. The first time I tried dehydrated food specifically for outdoors was mid eighties from Tiso. Can't remember the brand but it turned our crap yellow... 

Now, I know it is outside the remit of this review but a big shout out to Real Turmat for their peach energy drink.... 

That is a good recommendation.......... they take their noodles seriously in the Asia. My favourite are Nongshim Shin Ramyun..... they're in the 'world food' section of most supermarkets now. They are the only dried snack I eat in everyday life..... I find ones made for the UK market unpalatable.

Such a breath of fresh air after the  sycophantic gear reviews so common on UKC. Well-written and hilarious. Please could we get Fliss to review other products. I've no idea how much she knows about belay devices, or soft shells, but I would trust her reviews more than the non-committal twaddle we usually get, and at least they would be entertaining. More of this please!

To be fair, Fliss was reviewing items that are invariably awful. I'm sure if a gear manufacturer made a genuinely terrible softshell it would get a bad review - but how often does that happen?

I remember a very memorable night on Dartmoor caused by a freeze dried chilli.

The manufacturer had apparently neglected to cook the red kidney beans, and in addition to a broken tooth I had extremely memorable stomach pains.

Waddling out to the hay tor toilets at 5am is a memory that will stay with me.

I love Fliss' writing and general attitude. She's on UKH a fair bit, sometimes also UKC, and is  currently reviewing some other bits and bobs too. So that's not the last you'll read from her.

Taking nothing away from her dehydrated food review, which I have been mega happy with, it's easy to be unequivocal about something that's really crap - and a lot of these meals do sound like they tick that box.

As Gear Ed - a job that believe it or not I do actually try to do for the benefit of readers not brands - I'd ask you to point to specific reviews you thought were sycophantic, or non-committal twaddle, so we can assess and maybe do better. I'd be particularly concerned if they really are common.

We always try to be fair and balanced, and to point out flaws, faults and niggles wherever criticism is warranted. Here are a few examples where we've been less than glowing about aspects of a product:

https://www.ukclimbing.com/gear/footwear/rock_shoes/five_ten_niad_moccasym-...

https://www.ukclimbing.com/gear/clothing/synthetic_insulation/rabs_xenair_r...

https://www.ukclimbing.com/gear/footwear/walking_boots/salewa_dropline_mid_...

https://www.ukclimbing.com/gear/clothing/waterproofs/mountain_shells_around...

A lot of gear these days is more than fit for purpose, much of it is basically really good and hard to fault in any major way. A positive review may just indicate that we actually really liked something.

https://groceries.morrisons.com/products/nongshim-shin-ramyun-noodle-soup-2...

https://www.cornishseaweed.co.uk/product/sea-spaghetti/

https://www.bulk.com/uk/high-protein-biltong.html

I'm going to give it a go.... been wanting to try the seaweed for a while.

Here's the noodle selection from my local oriental supermarket...

http://www.seewooreading.co.uk/noodles.html

Freeze dried meals seem to be something done well in NZ. Prior to coming here, my few experiments with them in the UK were not good!

Trying the oldest brand here, backcountry, almost 20yrs ago was a pleasant surprise. I was so impressed with them I tried one at home after a long shift at work, to discover they really need a days tramping for full effect.

In the last 5 years there’s been a bit of a rush of new brands, some a good improvement on the old reliable of Backcountry. My favourite is Local Dehy, an all-vegan line up, then there is the trendy Radix, which market themselves in the more “sports nutrition” section of the market, mostly taste pretty good, and usefully sell their meals in 3-4 different calorie sizes; 400,600,800 and I think 1000. 

Lovely review!  Reminds me of Trail Walker Magazine (now just Trail) back in the 1990s when they had David Ogle (I think that was his name) as editor, and some very amusing writing and reviews.  

Regarding the Summit To Eat meals, stirring for eight minutes MUST be a typo.  It simply must be! I thought the same - "I'm not stirring for eight minutes, that would be ludicrous", so I've always given them a good stir and then sealed the packet and waited eight minutes.  I have noticed now that some of their packs have changed the wording to "stir, then seal and wait for eight minutes".  

I've been impressed with some of their meals, though I agree the chilli is not brilliant.  I bought a load in Nevisport recently as they were half price.

I really enjoyed reading this, it is to bad freeze-dried food what Marina Hyde is to politicians. 

I've dabbled with these a few times. I can see the point for a self-supported endurance event (HT550) or alpine climbing but otherwise they're mostly an expensive way of rounding off the day with an unpleasant meal consumed only for the calories.

That said, we backpacked through Knoydart recently and as we were out for three nights and I'm a bit OCD when it comes to weight, we each took three of these things as our main meal. A bag of shredded parmesan and a chorizo helped significantly. The only one I'd buy again was Firepot's mushroom risotto, it was genuinely enjoyable and full of flavour. The beef and pearl barley one was less successful. I followed the instructions to the letter but still ended up with a strange mix of porridgy gloop and dried powdery stuff. There was serious avant-garde jazz trumpet coming from my tent that night let me tell you, which is not a good sign.

I'm a big fan of Chinese noodles or polenta for stodge.

I've often fancied a food drier, someone on here must have used one.  

A brilliantly written article. Thank you!

The sole advantage of them to me is the lack of washing up.  Same with Wayfarers, which are exactly the same thing as the Tesco canned equivalent at 5 times the price, though you probably could, if careful, reheat canned stuff in the can.  The difference in weight between an empty can and and empty pouch is only of interest to someone obsessive enough to chop the handle off their toothbrush.

Otherwise, go for the likes of flavoured rice pouches (partially dehydrated), Pasta and Sauce, normal pasta, Beanfeast etc available for next to nothing from all supermarkets.  Add Peperami, other forms of salami or Mattessons smoked sausage if you want meat in it, or maybe a bit of veg.  Dried parmesan can perk stuff up a bit and keeps for ages.