UKH

I'm sick of it already and I've not heard "fairy tale in New York" yet.

Santa is not real and all the bad little boys and girls get as much if not more than those that deserve anything.

and its dark all the time ......

And cold........

and lonely ......

and stressful.....

and everything else you could think of that's pants.......

 

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

not just pants, often find it's socks as well..........

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

At least you beat The Lemming to the post.  Unless you are another user profile of The Lemming.

Christmas, I have found, changes over time.  As a late starter to fatherhood (41 when my daughter was born) I had been "over" Christmas for quite some time.  Having small children really does bring it back to life.  So does living very rurally - being in tune with the seasons and the local community makes seasonal events all the more significant and special.

But I can understand how it would be different for different people at different stages of their lives.

In reply to Chive Talkin\': I don't mind it, but then again I don't start thinking about it in early November.

 

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

If you are in South Wales there is space at my table.

In reply to Rampikino:

God no 

Lucky you , I have no children/ partner and no relevance to anything

This Christmas I'll be alone , not even be able to go see my mum for dinner (she's fine , I just can't go ) 

 

In reply to JoshOvki:

That's very lovely .

In reply to wbo:

Have you seen the bloody shops . 

Hard not to.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

The true meaning of Christmas:  youtube.com/watch?v=Qci9OoX3cSE& 
(I love Barnacle Bill's Semi-Factual Nautical Tales, especially this one.)

It's a difficult time for many to be sure, hang in there TWS, look after yourself.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I've had times in my life when I have opted out of Christmas. Once you have it in your head its just another day and do other stuff it can be quite a release (it was for me anyway).  I have done Christmas Day on the hill, cooking up my own little meal in the snow.  I have done it as a normal working day - where I ended up reconfiguring my office, and enjoying a massive bowl of cornflakes for lunch.  Both these times I have had a wonderful home oven cooked curry in the evening.   Festive programming was avoided with the box set of River Cottage over the few days.

The hardest thing then - was getting back into it in later years.  I don't do much now, but enjoy the music on Classic FM.

I remember going shopping for something non Christmas related and seeing all the stressed folk trying to get presents and I felt luckier than them to be honest. One Christmas Eve I was fitting a kitchen instead.

So try and take the positives from it and even if you did once like to enjoy a bit of Yuletide joy... like I was told, there will be others, so missing one or two won't matter.

Edit to say... dark - yes I used to get SAD, so get out on the hill as much as you can. I joined a walking group and being in the hills helped.  I'd walk solo more now if needed, but at the time the group thing was a spur to get me out, so I couldn't just not go.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Come over and have Christmas dinner with us in rural Cheshire. Lots of sloe gin and home brew cider available!

In reply to deepsoup:

That is top class!

In reply to Rampikino:

That's a lovely offer for someone you do not know at all.

It certainly shows you to be a genuinely kind person.

I'd feel very awkward in such a situation and I'm not the best company,   I'm socially awkward and I'm not allowed to drink anymore in order to overcome such disadvantages .

But thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If I go anywhere it may be to the hills or woods.   I might get to see my mum if she can come to mine for a few hours one day over Christmas.

I really need some kind of project to work on or something to make or build to keep me busy I think.

Everything is seeming uninteresting and boring after several days of feeling pretty good.   I've been training hard and looking after myself too. 

 

 

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

It's good to have things to focus on, and staying positive is useful.

In the past during my "so over Christmas" period in my thirties I actually had a few Christmas days on my own.  I seem to remember having a big bowl of pasta and watching crap telly.  Various family members were worried, but I was quite content on my own.

Christmas can be heaven or hell.  Even with kids I hate the fact that it gets shoved in our faces from the end of October.

Hang in there.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I think Christmas can be one of the most ruthless and cynical times of the year. There is a relentless regime of contrived joviality that demands complete compliance, and I think unhappiness behind the rictus grin is more common than we'd like to think.

A few years ago me and Mrs D had a series of miscarriages, 5 in total, consecutive. It took a heavy toll, the last and worst was a week before Christmas. That year our Christmas was for us and our family. It fitted nobody elses idea of perfection and why the hell should it have done because things were far from perfect. This year will, with very little doubt, be my Mums last Christmas, so again, our Christmas will not conform to any marketing companies idea of perfect. It can be a brutal, isolating time and throws a light on all that is missing or hurting.

Your travails are known to many of us here WS, you are courageous enough to break the smothering fantasy that we all live amazing lives. I wish you nothing but well, every day of the year.

In reply to DerwentDiluted:

Thank you . 

I don't know what to say but I hope for the best for you and yours .

TWS

 

 

 

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Limmy's nice bit of Xmas nostalgia

youtube.com/watch?v=u1ALzsH-yRs&

In reply to DerwentDiluted:

I think you have hit on a really good point DD.  There is the "commercial" view of what a great Christmas should be, and then there is real life.

Our daughter was born on 21st December, and so our first Christmas with her was rather overwhelmed by dealing with our first child.  The trauma of the birth also had side effects so that, on Christmas Day, I was waiting in the chemist for some antibiotics for the missus.  In the chemist were various people including some less fortunate who were picking up prescriptions to help with their addictions.  It was a grim scene and a reminder that not everything is jolly and jingly.

Christmas certainly does act as a reminder of what is not there - I think you have nailed this. It does so more than any other time of year.  As a result it can be a really tough time rather than a jolly one for many people.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Christmas is brilliant. It's the one day of the year I can be 90% sure my phone won't ring. The day its self is what you make it, the last couple of years the wife and I have gone to the sea side to sit and watch the waves whilst eating a pack up. We set a £50 present limit and enjoy our time alone. 

In reply to Dax H:

I work with someone that's doing that very thing this year.  

I'm seeing a hell of a lot of coincidences the past few day. 

In reply to steelbru:

Beat me to it!

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

youtube.com/watch?v=cxqQtUQErhQ&

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Very sorry to hear that. It's been nice to see your positivity on here recently.

Feel bad about the link I just posted now. Don't take it to heart. It wasn't meant to suggest you were wrong to feel the way you do about Christmas, but it could come across that way.

It's just that it's one of my favourite Xmas songs - Half Man Half Biscuit singing about it being wrong to be cynical is just too ironic to resist!

In reply to Bellie:

I wish. No chance I'd get away with it.

 

In reply to Dax H:

We've had a £50 present limit for a few year. It works well for us because let's face it we want for nothing. 

Looks like we'll be hosting Christmas this year. Our son, partner and new grandson et al have booked themselves in. Strangely we don't remember asking anyone...........

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Christmas used to be the time of the year when my siblings and I were forced to be with our parents, who should have separated years before but only stayed together because they were Catholics. So Christmas was a time I dreaded for the bad atmosphere, my Dad's bad temper and my Mum's distress.  

In reply to hokkyokusei:

Thank you, its been fun for me and a change.   It's given me a distraction when I'm at home and trying to distract myself from loneliness .

I wouldn't worry , I haven't watched it and I don't think I would have taken it that way.  

 

 

In reply to Rigid Raider:

Sounds grim.    I'm sorry .

 

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Not to piss you off a bit more, but couldn't you just be happy for the people that do like it, Take some pleasure in the pleasure other people get.

It sometimes makes you smile when nothing else does.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I lied to various people one year about my plans for the day so I could be left alone and have Christmas on my own in peace and no pressure to be jolly.  It was the right thing to do.  I did have the dog for company and that was perfect.  

I made the mistake of popping into a supermarket yesterday. Bah humbug.  

I refuse to get involved until December.  

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I'm glad to read that. Keep it up, even during the times you don't feel like it.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I love proper Christmas.

I hate commercialised, containers full of plastic tat, Christmas.  

I know it can be a tough time. A project sounds like a good idea!

In reply to marsbar:

Someone said somewhere this week, maybe not on here, that “ there’s twelve days of Xmas but November isn’t one of them”. Never a truer statement made.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

A colleague goes by himself regularly to the Canary Islands. He says in Spain on 25th Dec bars/restaurants are open so he can carry on with his holiday and avoid it all.

In reply to krikoman:

Very good, you mean compersion ?

We should be telling this to all those lone pensioners that have lost loved ones and single people and also persecuted people living in ghettos the world over to just enjoy watching everyone else have fun (when a great many arent in fact) .

Im sorry if my grumpy gloomy outlook for my Christmas is upsetting .  

I'll try working harder on my compersion .  

Peace on earth and all that. 

 

 

In reply to steelbru:

And Famous Grouse adverts!

In reply to DerwentDiluted:

One miscarriage was bad enough - 5 on the trot must have been grim.

Christmas last year had a bit of a cloud over it, as we were pretty sure it would be my F-i-L's last - a weird feeling of trying to make it extra special without drawing attention to why. This year, it will have a different cloud, as he passed away in September.

TWS - all the best for whatever you get up to.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

You brought the word compersion to my attention. The word doesn't roll off the tongue lightly but it's describing stuff that's going on in my life.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Have you been watching the Grinch?

In reply to elsewhere:

Or try Japan, or India - I've been alone in both (Osaka, and Mumbai) on different Xmas Days, admittedly decades ago, and at that time at least it was a normal day in both places, nothing unusual

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

I’m not in a position to offer advice. My Christmas often involves work and I can be in theatre from 6am to midnight sometimes. Pre family days this meant that when not working or on call endless trekking across the country visiting family was undertaken. This got wearisome. So on every third Christmas I’d head off for some peace, usually a bothy. On of the most magical was at Sourlies, cold and sunny for three days. I don’t take booze, just lots of tea and hot chocolate. Even now, with a large family, those solitary Christmas trips seem special. 

So if I were to offer advice, don’t assume the way everyone else spends the day is the correct way to do so. Do something completely different.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

On the plus side, I'm keeping a count down in my head towards the winter solstice, after which the days start to get longer again. It's helping a little during these increasingly gloomy days weather wise until Christmas. 

Every day which passes is another day closer to longer/brighter days...

Christmas doesn't last forever.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

Why not go to one of the charities, e.g.Crisis, who need volunteers on Christmas day to help cook and serve food etc for the homeless?

In reply to Jim Nevill: That's what my Dad and I almost did on Christmas soon after my Mum passed away when the family hadn't got itself coordinated quite right. Some family friends do that each year. 

 

In reply to Timmd:

First spot of Fairy Tale In New York in my local charity shop today.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!!

In reply to Jim Nevill:

I did that one year, hard work, but fun.  

In reply to marsbar:

I'm trying to do my shopping online where I can during November, to avoid the 'be jolly' vibe in the shops. 

In reply to Timmd:

I understand we live in a free country. I understand that freedom was secured in no small part by the people we have been remembering this weekend. I understand retailers are free to advertise as they wish. I understand we can vote with our feet.

i still find it hugely distasteful for retailers to be swamping us with jolly Christmas ads before and during the Remembrance period.

 

In reply to Rampikino: He fought in the second world war, rather than the first, but my maternal grandpa wouldn't have wanted people to not be cheery leading up to Christmas. It might be seen as part of what they fought for?

 

In reply to Timmd:

I get that, and come advent all bets will be off in our house. It just feels inappropriate so early and so close to Remembrance.

In reply to Rampikino: I have a quote in mind along the lines of 'Things being serious don't stop life being funny, while things being funny don't stop life being serious'. I don't agree.  I think 'being Christmassy' this early can be in keeping with remembering.

 

In reply to Bellie:

Best day of the year to go cycling as the chance of getting run over by a moron in a car is wildly reduced!

In reply to wbo:

It makes me glad we have Halloween and Bonfire Night - to act as 'stoppers' - otherwise it would start the day after the schools go back after summer hols.

In reply to Chive Talkin\':

As others have said, Xmas is what you make it.  The Bakers household isnt religious but we get into the spirit of the affair.  I quite like the build up although I dont like the sense of obligation to buy stuff for folks I dont really see much of.  In fact, i dont like the obligation to spend loads on the family.  If we need something during the year, we buy it because its needed or because we want to treat our loved ones.  

The days itself is usually quite a bit of fun.  I start drinking at about 6am with a few shots of the good stuff, take the dog for a walk, cook for the family, get more pissed and by about 5pm I'll be asleep by the fire with the hound having eaten and drunk too much.  

A bit like most Saturdays really.

In reply to TheDrunkenBakers: The food is my favourite part too, and making and eating D family trifle, I have made it 15 times in the 5 years since my Mum passed away, gradually changing things after getting her to write down the recipe just before she did, and it now tastes just like she used to make it and everybody enjoys it.  

They all have the recipe & method I've arrived at, should I walk under a bus, sponges and egg custards can be hard to replicate exactly when it's two different people.

 

 

In reply to ianstevens:

Agreed!!

I often work away on Christmas morning... The motorway system for the journey home is an unusually joyous thing. Remember driving down the M5 and not seeing another car on my side of the road for 20 minutes.... and no lorries either. Driving as it should be.  

In reply to TheDrunkenBakers:

I think the trouble is that it's also very dependent on what the people close to you want to make of it. If your whole family love having a big get together with presents and putting loads of effort into the food and decorations so on, it can be a bit difficult to just announce that you're thinking of staying at home, going for a bike ride and then having a frozen pizza for dinner this year.