Shoes off in the house

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 Ramblin dave 17 Aug 2018

Is this an interesting example of social change?

I'm in my mid thirties, and when me and my friends visit each other at home, it's pretty normal for the guests to take their shoes off and leave them at the door. This seems fairly normal to me, but thinking back to my childhood it would have seemed pretty weird if my parents had had friends over and they'd done the same thing. So I don't know how I've come to see this as normal.

Is this a pattern that other people have noticed? Why is it happening? Are millenials killing doormats?

 tom r 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave: Yeah I'm a similar age and growing up I never took my shoes off but now  I always do. Having said that if someone is coming round to mine I would never ask them to take their shoes off. 

I have spent a lot of time in Germany and there it would be considered very rude to wear street shoes in someone's house. Pretty much the first thing a German will do when you go to their home would be to offer you house shoes to wear.

 

Post edited at 15:16
 Rob Naylor 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

People would never have taken shoes off when entering my parents' house in the 1960s, but fromn the moment I had my own place (1978) taking shoes of on entry was normal. Friends thought it was a bit strange, but most haven't batted an eyelid about it since the late 1980s.

 buzby 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I work as a telecoms engineer visiting peoples houses several times a day and if its carpeted I always take my shoes off when I go inside. its amazing how many people think its odd but at the same time seem to appreciate it.

it annoys a lot of the guys a work with as they don't normally do it and feel awkward after I've done it when its a two man job. I guess they think it makes them look bad.

it did backfire once as I worked in a house with an incontinent dog that was dying and had pissed all over the floor and I padded through it in my socks. 

 brianjcooper 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I'm just a tad older than you, but I believe taking shoes off in the house really depends on what you are walking on in the house. Stone or wooden floors may be OK, but a carpet will soon look dirty after outdoor residue etc has been across it, even after using a door mat.   Think of entry from a wet winter's pavement. 

 Doug 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Rob Naylor:

Sounds a bit like my experience. At my parent's house when I was a child visitors kept there shoes on. The only exceptions were for wellingtons or work shoes/boots so if I came in from playing in the fields I took my wellys off at the door, likewise my Dad coming home from work.

But somehow, probably in the 1980s but definitely by the 90s  it went from removing muddy shoes/boots to removing all outdoor shoes in the various houses & flats I shared at the time

 Ridge 17 Aug 2018
In reply to buzby:

> it did backfire once as I worked in a house with an incontinent dog that was dying and had pissed all over the floor and I padded through it in my socks

When I worked for Calderdale council many years ago I went into one property wearing the oversuit and welllies I used for sewer entries, using the excuse it was 'health and safety gone mad' and I had to wear it to look at the drain in cellar or face being sacked.... The house was absolutely horrific in terms of the filth around the place.

OP Ramblin dave 17 Aug 2018
In reply to brianjcooper:

> I'm just a tad older than you, but I believe taking shoes off in the house really depends on what you are walking on in the house. Stone or wooden floors may be OK, but a carpet will soon look dirty after outdoor residue etc has been across it, even after using a door mat.   Think of entry from a wet winter's pavement. 

Hmmm - I wonder how much my perception that this has changed has to do with the fact that people I know tend to live in houses that are small (and without much buffer zone between the street and the front room), rented and carpeted, whereas my parents and their friends were generally a bit more settled and tended to own a place and to have put down some sort of wooden or tiled floor.

 summo 17 Aug 2018
In reply to tom r:

> I have spent a lot of time in Germany and there it would be considered very rude to wear street shoes in someone's house. Pretty much the first thing a German will do when you go to their home would be to offer you house shoes to wear.

Same in the nordics if wish to ever be invited back, regardless of floor type, rented or owned, flat or house. The same at school, every class has a cloakroom and outdoor footwear stops there, winter or summer, staff or pupil. 

 Timmd 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

In my childhood home (from the 80's onward) we used to wear shoes around the house,, and then shoes used to be alright in the kitchen which wasn't carpeted, but shoes off in the rest of the house, which didn't always work because we'd often enough go back into the kitchen for something while wearing socks. 

Recent science says there's all manner of things which can get carried into homes on the soles of footwear, bacteria that could make somebody rather ill. The same goes for farms, though, and children from farms have less allergies and things. I've followed current trends and tend to take my shoes off in my porch, but I'll not insist on it when people come to visit, I didn't get seriously ill as a child so it's probably fine really, is my feeling, it's just nice to have cleaner carpets.

 

Post edited at 16:59
2
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I think it started with me when we lived in a rural area and feet were often wet or dirty. It seems to have stuck so I nearly always ask people whose houses I visit what the protocol is. I also wonder if it is an outdoor persons practice?

 plyometrics 17 Aug 2018
In reply to summo:

Interesting to hear other countries’ attitudes to this. At prep school we had indoor and outdoor shoes. 

Now, I always take my shoes off in others’ houses and expect others to do the same in my house. P*sses me off when folk tread crap into the house, particularly as were based in the Lakes where invariably outside means mud and rain.

A few tradesmen we’ve had in have had the blue shoe covers, which seems like a simple solution when they’re in and out a lot, not sure why more don’t do it. 

 

 hokkyokusei 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I'm 51 and was always brought up to take my shoes off in our or anyone else's house. To me it seems less common these days and when visiting friends, they often wonder why I'm taking my shoes off when I visit and are surprised when I ask them to do so in my house.

 Dax H 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

70/80s my parents house was no shoe's. My place is mixed, I always remove my shoes but the wife wears hers indoors. It's just habit to me. I built a porch on the house so I had somewhere to take my shoes off and particularly my work boots. Working in waste water I don't want to think what gets on my boots  

 

 Timmd 17 Aug 2018
In reply to hokkyokusei: I'll always take my shoes off in other people's homes, but I'm more flexible in my own home. 

 wercat 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

There were stereotypes in cartoons and comics in the 1960s showing dad in the chair in his slippers - I think even in the Andy Capp cartoons

 Neil Williams 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I always walk round the house barefoot because I like to, so others seem to follow, but it’s all laminate downstairs precisely so you can walk around in shoes if you want.

 profitofdoom 17 Aug 2018
In reply to wercat:

> There were stereotypes in cartoons and comics in the 1960s showing dad in the chair in his slippers - I think even in the Andy Capp cartoons

Yes, in the 1960s Dad and others wore slippers at home for comfort, but I remember no-one ever, in anyone's house, taking their outdoor shoes off right after entering the house. Dad just changed into slippers later, after tramping all over the place in outdoor shoes first

Research continues!

 summo 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Timmd:

> , it's just nice to have cleaner carpets.

Despite the no outdoor footwear culture you will struggle to see any carpets in the nordics. The idea that you fasten down a fabric type covering that just absorbs all dirt is a little odd really. Rugs or mat, but never carpets. I don't think I've ever seen a carpet retailer. 

 Dave Garnett 17 Aug 2018
In reply to keith-ratcliffe:

> I think it started with me when we lived in a rural area and feet were often wet or dirty. 

Yep. Where we live wellies are normal outside footwear for half the year, so it’s usually obvious to remove them.  

The kitchen is more negotiable, since it’s tiled, but most people do at least ask.

 mrphilipoldham 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

If they've wooden/tiled flooring then I'll keep my shoes on, unless they requested I remove them prior to entry. If it's carpeted then I'll ask if I should remove them. Wouldn't ask anyone to remove their's to go up our carpeted stairs, unless they were obviously dirty but generally I think they'd have removed them anyway if that was the case. Born in '86! 

 Flinticus 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

In my youth living at home and in all my friends houses, no-one was expected to take shoes off and would have been considered strange if they had. If you asked someone they would suspect you of taking on airs and graces.

Now I do and don't depending on the weather and where I've walked the dog. Or shoe type: boots off, clean, dry trainers on. No point worrying about germs when you have an outdoor dog and drink from the same water bottle. 

 Timmd 17 Aug 2018
In reply to summo:

> Despite the no outdoor footwear culture you will struggle to see any carpets in the nordics. The idea that you fasten down a fabric type covering that just absorbs all dirt is a little odd really. Rugs or mat, but never carpets. I don't think I've ever seen a carpet retailer. 

It is odd when you put it like that. Perhaps it has something to do with the quality/nature of the floors which have generally been in British (and other) homes? It could make for some interesting research, there could be things to learn about wider culture, and class, and different things. 

Post edited at 20:44
 AndyC 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

You would not make a good impression entering a Scandinavian home without leaving your shoes at the door!

 wintertree 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I tend to take my queue from my hosts - are there shoes by the door?  Is the floor carpet or lino/wood/stone?

I always take mine off because I hate cleaning so the less I have to do it the better.  Also I tend to have muddy boots a lot around my own place.

I wonder if it’s the ravages or age rather than changing social attitudes you are noticing?  

 summo 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Timmd:

In the UK carpets became a sign of affluence. Wall to wall etc.. where older houses had the margins painted. Poor design of housing with either single layer wood over air spaces or solid floors meant it was probably done for warmth or comfort.

 profitofdoom 17 Aug 2018
In reply to tom r:

> I have spent a lot of time in Germany and there it would be considered very rude to wear street shoes in someone's house.

Not just Germany - looks like there are also a number of other countries which do not like it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradition_of_removing_shoes_in_home

Removed User 17 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

Oh the angst of the white/fawn carpet brigade! I go into many houses for my job and only get asked to remove my shoes in the houses where no one seems to live - sterile designer houses -never a sign of any literature (books,magazines etc).The kitchens never seem to be used, everything is immaculately arranged I've even noticed the installation leaflets still inside the pristine oven. Sterility seems to be the new fashion or perhaps its a competition to be more beige than your friends and neighbours. Dislike away you know who you are.

You're welcome at mine as long as you wipe your feet if its mucky outside.

Post edited at 22:14
4
 Timmd 18 Aug 2018
In reply to keith-ratcliffe:

> I think it started with me when we lived in a rural area and feet were often wet or dirty. It seems to have stuck so I nearly always ask people whose houses I visit what the protocol is. I also wonder if it is an outdoor persons practice?

My hard imitation wood floor would have been ruined if it was carpeted downstairs, when nipping back inside while gardening and things, and being a generally grubby outdoor person at times. When/if I have the money spare wooden flooring around my whole house might be nice. 

Post edited at 14:25
 brianjcooper 19 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

> Hmmm - I wonder how much my perception that this has changed has to do with the fact that people I know tend to live in houses that are small (and without much buffer zone between the street and the front room), rented and carpeted, whereas my parents and their friends were generally a bit more settled and tended to own a place and to have put down some sort of wooden or tiled floor.

Yep! We had a little terraced house where the front door was straight on to the street and pavement.  The carpet at the door was covered with a mat and we ALWAYS took our shoes off on entry, as did our friends.

Post edited at 18:31
In reply to Ramblin dave:

Just ask 'should I take my shoes off?'. 

I've found every variation of answer and I can understand each's reasoning, ie old carpet, new carpet, hardwood floors, muddy boots, dog etc. New carpet owners that are ok with dirty shoes on it, THAT is weird, but yet to see it. 

 artif 19 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

Couldn't give a s**t out about the carpets just rip em up and replace when needed.

Up till recently we had Newfoundland dog, that used to swim every day. No point in worrying about floors with him wandering about the place, and being as we, parents, child and dog, wander about inside and out barefoot most of the time doesn't make much difference. Wood/laminate floors are no good for the dog.

Visiting friends with "precious" floors always seem a bit strange, but we do as they do, no problem. 

Come to think about it, I've never lived in a house where we removed shoes even with brand new carpets.

The most ridiculous thing is those clear plastic mats that people put over carpets, can't see the sense in spending a fortune on an expensive carpet then putting a cheap plastic mat over the top.

The only rule that does get applied is "no high heels on the deck of the boat" stilettos are as bad as crampons on wood decks. 

 Neil Williams 19 Aug 2018
In reply to Timmd:

> Recent science says there's all manner of things which can get carried into homes on the soles of footwear, bacteria that could make somebody rather ill.

We have immune systems to handle that.  And it's not like you get down on your hands and knees and lick the laminate flooring

 Timmd 19 Aug 2018
In reply to Neil Williams: That's my thoughts too. Shoes on in the house can't have hurt my general health growing up, as well as blowing up my space hopper with my mouth after it'd bounced around the back garden and gravel too.

Edit: and finding a dead duck while  playing in the river in the park and not washing my hands before eating my lunch, I did feel queasy but I was unharmed. 

Post edited at 22:33
 Siward 20 Aug 2018
In reply to artif:

Wood and tiled floors downstairs cope admirably with our dogs. Granted the wood doesn't have a gloss mirror finish (did it ever!) but its worn very well and the dogs like it just fine.

 artif 20 Aug 2018
In reply to Siward:

The floors will cope, but big dogs like newfies struggle to get up on slippery floors, like laminates and vinyl, especially as they get older, It can also cause injuries if they slip over when they play around.

 Wingnut 20 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

We always had separate pairs of "indoor only" shoes when I was a kid. Visiting kids got told to take theirs off.
(On one occasion a friend of my brother's, having dutifully removed his shoes, promptly stepped backwards in the wrong place and trod in the cat's bowl, resulting in a wet sock for the rest of the day. Yes, we laughed.)

 RX-78 20 Aug 2018
In reply to summo:

In our 1930s house we had removed all the carpets and used rugs for a while, but the house was so cold in winter we recarpeted the upstairs rooms. Now its wood floors on the ground floor, elsewhere is carpeted (not the bathroom). Shoes are ok downstairs, just use the doormat if muddy.

 tehmarks 21 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

I was brought up to always take my shoes off at the door. My grandparents were just as particular about it as my parents. I wonder if it might be partially a regional thing?

Strangely, these days neither my parents no my grandparents care so much.

 cander 21 Aug 2018
In reply to Ramblin dave:

Guests can wear outdoor shoes downstairs as we’ve got wooden floors so they won’t leave permanent muddy foot prints, but definitely not allowed upstairs - same rules for the dogs actually.

Since we tend to wear wellies or climbing boots all the time if we’re just around the house and farm we never wear outdoor footwear inside.

Although at the moment the dogs have managed to find some plums and have got the worst shits I’ve ever seen (one even had a seizure -plum stones have cyanide in them and can quickly kill your dog), so I’m tempted to keep my wellies on in the house at the moment.

 nufkin 21 Aug 2018

It's an interesting etiquette conundrum - should guests conform to house rules or should they be permitted leeway as a demonstration of hostly magnanimity? 

Either way, I don't really understand why people would want to wear shoes indoors if they're not just popping back in briefly

 


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