In reply to Dave the Rave:
> Run in the woods on your own. There's nowt better than getting the urge 15 minutes in, stopping for a shit in nature and wiping your arse on some sphagnum.
Good advice, but if the OP is an inner city type can he replace the soft mossy stuff with discarded kfc packaging. I reckon a bargain bucket will be less appealing on the cigar cutter.