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Just had a look at that mountain boot job advert.
Why do these companies have to talk so much garbage on their job adverts? The word "Dynamic" was used 3 times, I googled the word just to be sure what they were looking for as it seemed very important and got this "Someone with a dynamic personality is probably funny, loud, and excitable" .....sound
also about 12 bullet points to describe a job which could be wittled down to, " we want to employ a loud excitable funny person to do emails and answer phone and process customer orders.
Not sure what my point is, its just a rant
Why do these companies have to talk so much garbage on their job adverts? The word "Dynamic" was used 3 times, I googled the word just to be sure what they were looking for as it seemed very important and got this "Someone with a dynamic personality is probably funny, loud, and excitable" .....sound
also about 12 bullet points to describe a job which could be wittled down to, " we want to employ a loud excitable funny person to do emails and answer phone and process customer orders.
Not sure what my point is, its just a rant
33
In reply to marzi:
Good rant.
If I hired an assistant my job ad would say "Loner wanted. Must dislike interacting with people". We'd get on just fine
> ...............Not sure what my point is, its just a rant
Good rant.
If I hired an assistant my job ad would say "Loner wanted. Must dislike interacting with people". We'd get on just fine
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In reply to abseil:
Make me an offer.
> Good rant.If I hired an assistant my job ad would say "Loner wanted. Must dislike interacting with people". We'd get on just fine
Make me an offer.
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In reply to abseil:
Benchmark rant on the same topic:
https://www.ukhillwalking.com/forums/t.php?t=623875
> Good rant.
Benchmark rant on the same topic:
https://www.ukhillwalking.com/forums/t.php?t=623875
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In reply to marzi:
Someone wanted to connect to me on LinkedIn recently. Their job title took a bit to sink in:
"Retail Commodities Relocation Specialist."
Not quite sure what's wrong with the less confusing "Delivery Driver".
Someone wanted to connect to me on LinkedIn recently. Their job title took a bit to sink in:
"Retail Commodities Relocation Specialist."
Not quite sure what's wrong with the less confusing "Delivery Driver".
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In reply to marzi:
Once sent for an application form for an in-house PR job. OK I know it's PR, and I know that's basically being paid to talk bollocks for a living, but I binned the form when I got to the part about how the successful applicant would be expected to (direct quote) "live the brand". Live the brand? It was an accountancy firm fer crissakes! how do you "live" an accountancy brand? always check your change?!? needless to say I'm glad I never gave them the opportunity to tell me I wasn't the right candidate for the post.
Once sent for an application form for an in-house PR job. OK I know it's PR, and I know that's basically being paid to talk bollocks for a living, but I binned the form when I got to the part about how the successful applicant would be expected to (direct quote) "live the brand". Live the brand? It was an accountancy firm fer crissakes! how do you "live" an accountancy brand? always check your change?!? needless to say I'm glad I never gave them the opportunity to tell me I wasn't the right candidate for the post.
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In reply to ripper:
Reminds me of a post I saw on Reddit where a person had their second interview cancelled because they asked about pay and benefits. The HR person said they were looking for people who weren't so focused on compensation and got satisfaction from doing the job.
Soon we'll all be expected to work for free.
I'd think you could "live the brand " by getting a tattoo of the company logo.
Reminds me of a post I saw on Reddit where a person had their second interview cancelled because they asked about pay and benefits. The HR person said they were looking for people who weren't so focused on compensation and got satisfaction from doing the job.
Soon we'll all be expected to work for free.
I'd think you could "live the brand " by getting a tattoo of the company logo.
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In reply to marzi:
I once met an American lady who worked for L3 Communications. Sadly, her job title was writing cheques she couldn't cash, for she was the 'Vice-President for Global Peace and Security'.
I do marvel at those job adverts that require mastery of an endless list of incompatible requirements, plus fluency in several languages. Above all, you must be willing to do all of that for substantially less than you're currently paid to do a lesser list already.
I once met an American lady who worked for L3 Communications. Sadly, her job title was writing cheques she couldn't cash, for she was the 'Vice-President for Global Peace and Security'.
I do marvel at those job adverts that require mastery of an endless list of incompatible requirements, plus fluency in several languages. Above all, you must be willing to do all of that for substantially less than you're currently paid to do a lesser list already.
Post edited at 16:50
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In reply to nniff:
Just saw a guy emptying some bins near my Hotel. According to the hi viz vest he was wearing he apparently is a "City of San Diego Clean and Safe Ambassador".
Nothing wrong with working as a bin man, but "ambassador"? Only in the US.... (and maybe Austria).
CB
Just saw a guy emptying some bins near my Hotel. According to the hi viz vest he was wearing he apparently is a "City of San Diego Clean and Safe Ambassador".
Nothing wrong with working as a bin man, but "ambassador"? Only in the US.... (and maybe Austria).
CB
2
In reply to marzi:
It's not just job descriptions. I've recently spent three months unemployed (sorted now - moving to Lake Garda!) and while the vast majority of job descriptions were just as cretinous as you've described some of the interview questions you get...
"describe a time when you've had to work in a team" "tell me about a time when you provided excellent customer service" It's total b*llshit!
A job interview should be solely to check you're not a total weirdo and will get on ok with the people you work with. They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not.
addendum - It should be illegal to describe a salary as "competitive" or "attractive" without putting a number on it. if it's that good, tell me what it is!
It's not just job descriptions. I've recently spent three months unemployed (sorted now - moving to Lake Garda!) and while the vast majority of job descriptions were just as cretinous as you've described some of the interview questions you get...
"describe a time when you've had to work in a team" "tell me about a time when you provided excellent customer service" It's total b*llshit!
A job interview should be solely to check you're not a total weirdo and will get on ok with the people you work with. They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not.
addendum - It should be illegal to describe a salary as "competitive" or "attractive" without putting a number on it. if it's that good, tell me what it is!
Post edited at 17:53
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In reply to Chris Harris:
Whoa that's good!
> Benchmark rant on the same topic:https://www.ukhillwalking.com/forums/t.php?t=623875
Whoa that's good!
In reply to marzi:
Job description for a "Doorman" - someone who opens and closes doors - AKA "Train guard"
Job description for a "Doorman" - someone who opens and closes doors - AKA "Train guard"
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In reply to TomGB:
It should be illegal to describe a salary as "competitive" or "attractive" without putting a number on it. if it's that good, tell me what it is!
I read that the salary is based on experience.
It should be illegal to describe a salary as "competitive" or "attractive" without putting a number on it. if it's that good, tell me what it is!
I read that the salary is based on experience.
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1
In reply to marzi:
We are seeking a bright and bubbly person to join our dynamic lifestyle team to actively assisting residents maintain independence and mobility.
i.e. wipe bottoms and feed people.
We are seeking a bright and bubbly person to join our dynamic lifestyle team to actively assisting residents maintain independence and mobility.
i.e. wipe bottoms and feed people.
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In reply to TomGB:
That's basically "We don't want to pay you much, but might go £5 above whatever you say your current salary is".
> It should be illegal to describe a salary as "competitive" or "attractive" without putting a number on it. if it's that good, tell me what it is!
That's basically "We don't want to pay you much, but might go £5 above whatever you say your current salary is".
1
In reply to TomGB:
I do a reasonable amount of interviewing and I would disagree quite strongly, often what looks like the strongest candidate on paper, isn't when you start actually asking questions about the experience described in the job application.
> They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not.
I do a reasonable amount of interviewing and I would disagree quite strongly, often what looks like the strongest candidate on paper, isn't when you start actually asking questions about the experience described in the job application.
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In reply to The New NickB:
At the risk of putting myself down Nick, I'd totally agree. I was always quite good at selling myself on paper, but when interviews always let me down!
At the risk of putting myself down Nick, I'd totally agree. I was always quite good at selling myself on paper, but when interviews always let me down!
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In reply to marzi:
As a now retired, HR/training manager I have to agree with your comments and most of the ones which follow, especially those adverts where they try to make a boring simple job look exciting & dynamic.
But there perhaps is the answer? It is often quite difficult to get staff. Adverts, interviewing etc., cost a fair bit of time & money and when there are other employers who also want those staff, I guess it becomes a case of each employer trying to sound (embarrassingly) the better bet to be employed by.
My gripe in this field are the likes of county councils who describe their jobs as "fast moving in a dynamic environment". Something I've not noticed in any CC I've experience of.
As a now retired, HR/training manager I have to agree with your comments and most of the ones which follow, especially those adverts where they try to make a boring simple job look exciting & dynamic.
But there perhaps is the answer? It is often quite difficult to get staff. Adverts, interviewing etc., cost a fair bit of time & money and when there are other employers who also want those staff, I guess it becomes a case of each employer trying to sound (embarrassingly) the better bet to be employed by.
My gripe in this field are the likes of county councils who describe their jobs as "fast moving in a dynamic environment". Something I've not noticed in any CC I've experience of.
2
In reply to marzi:
About 5 years ago I was learning to drive, and my instructor had landed a job as a Parking Warden with the Local Authority's new, outsourced Parking enforcement service.
He was aksed to do some media, where the journalist described him as 'passionate about parking' Between that and the baby blue uniform I've never seen a bloke look so gutted
About 5 years ago I was learning to drive, and my instructor had landed a job as a Parking Warden with the Local Authority's new, outsourced Parking enforcement service.
He was aksed to do some media, where the journalist described him as 'passionate about parking' Between that and the baby blue uniform I've never seen a bloke look so gutted
2
In reply to TomGB:
They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not
I'm currently seeking alternative employment and nothing annoys me more than the prompt "Talk me through your CV". I think next time I'm asked this followed by the question "What do you know about the company/role?" I may follow it up with "Despite having the appropriate information in advance I decided not to pay you the respect of reading it before we met".
They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not
I'm currently seeking alternative employment and nothing annoys me more than the prompt "Talk me through your CV". I think next time I'm asked this followed by the question "What do you know about the company/role?" I may follow it up with "Despite having the appropriate information in advance I decided not to pay you the respect of reading it before we met".
In reply to TomGB:
They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not
No way. Most CV's are ' enhanced' at best
They should know from your cv/cover letter whether you can do the bloody job or not
No way. Most CV's are ' enhanced' at best
In reply to Weekend Punter:
Alternatively, the invitation to talk though your CV is a gift - in other words "Please talk to me about the subject you know best". Give them two minutes on your selected highlights (avoiding starting with "After I left school" because everyone does that). Once you've done that, ask him which bits are of most interest to him. He'll probably tell you, and so you can talk about something that you know he's interested in. It saves a non-expert interviewer floundering along wondering what to ask next instead of listening. You should have your two minute spiel off pat and you can even open with "Would you like me to tell you a little about myself?" It enables you to settle down without thinking too hard and watch your counterpart's reactions to each thing you say.
There are a few dead cert questions - 1) Tell me about yourself 2) Why do you want to leave? 3) What will you bring to us?
The head hunter/professional interviewer will almost certainly thank you for your intro and then turn to the back of your CV and work through it with you.
If they ask how much you know about the company, you can say "I know a little, but gained from the outside looking in. I'd be grateful if you could give me an insider's perspective and tell me more about the job". If you don't get the latter, you're shooting blind at what they really want/need.
Alternatively, the invitation to talk though your CV is a gift - in other words "Please talk to me about the subject you know best". Give them two minutes on your selected highlights (avoiding starting with "After I left school" because everyone does that). Once you've done that, ask him which bits are of most interest to him. He'll probably tell you, and so you can talk about something that you know he's interested in. It saves a non-expert interviewer floundering along wondering what to ask next instead of listening. You should have your two minute spiel off pat and you can even open with "Would you like me to tell you a little about myself?" It enables you to settle down without thinking too hard and watch your counterpart's reactions to each thing you say.
There are a few dead cert questions - 1) Tell me about yourself 2) Why do you want to leave? 3) What will you bring to us?
The head hunter/professional interviewer will almost certainly thank you for your intro and then turn to the back of your CV and work through it with you.
If they ask how much you know about the company, you can say "I know a little, but gained from the outside looking in. I'd be grateful if you could give me an insider's perspective and tell me more about the job". If you don't get the latter, you're shooting blind at what they really want/need.
4
In reply to marzi:
People think that to come across as professional, intelligent and articulate, you need to use loads of big words, but by doing that you risk confusing the audience (or worse, mis-leading them).
People think that to come across as professional, intelligent and articulate, you need to use loads of big words, but by doing that you risk confusing the audience (or worse, mis-leading them).
Gah. You, sir, are obviously a consummate born to it interviewer/interviewee you lucky so and so. For many of us this kind of lucid masterpiece of an interview degenerates into 'enough rope to hang yourself with'. Which is really annoying when you know you'd know you'd be good at the job! It's a bit like exams - exams test your ability to answer questions about your understanding of subject y under time pressure in exam conditions, not your understanding of subject y. I'm not saying that there isn't a better way to do it just that it's bloody annoying to be one of those who finds interviews difficult rather than an opportunity to sell yourself...
2
In reply to Jimbocz:
Probably best across your bum cheeks, seeing as the phrase is such a load of arse!
M
> I'd think you could "live the brand " by getting a tattoo of the company logo.
Probably best across your bum cheeks, seeing as the phrase is such a load of arse!
M
1
In reply to marzi:
"Hands wanted for long voyage in small boat. No pay, no prospects, not much pleasure."
"Hands wanted for long voyage in small boat. No pay, no prospects, not much pleasure."
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In reply to pasbury:
Was that Bill Tilman? Really funny anyway, thanks.
> "Hands wanted for long voyage in small boat. No pay, no prospects, not much pleasure."
Was that Bill Tilman? Really funny anyway, thanks.
In reply to abseil:
Yep, Tilman. I'd have been tempted as a young man!
Shackleton advertised in similar vein for crew for the Endurance.
Yep, Tilman. I'd have been tempted as a young man!
Shackleton advertised in similar vein for crew for the Endurance.
In reply to pasbury:
Thanks for your reply. I'd have been tempted to go too.
Tilman, what a guy. The older I get the more I admire him (for his guts, and for his achievements).
> Yep, Tilman. I'd have been tempted as a young man! Shackleton advertised in similar vein for crew for the Endurance.
Thanks for your reply. I'd have been tempted to go too.
Tilman, what a guy. The older I get the more I admire him (for his guts, and for his achievements).
In reply to pasbury:
"Men wanted for hazardous journey, small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful, honour and recognition in case of success".
Couldn't really accuse him of over-selling it, could you?
> Shackleton advertised in similar vein for crew for the Endurance.
"Men wanted for hazardous journey, small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful, honour and recognition in case of success".
Couldn't really accuse him of over-selling it, could you?
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In reply to ripper:
Well he didn't mention having the boat crushed, rowing to a desolate uninhabited island, and spending four and a half months on it. Or even, for the 'lucky' few, rowing across the south Atlantic and making the first crossing of South Georgia!
Well he didn't mention having the boat crushed, rowing to a desolate uninhabited island, and spending four and a half months on it. Or even, for the 'lucky' few, rowing across the south Atlantic and making the first crossing of South Georgia!
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In reply to abseil:
Quite apart from his adventuring, he had a DSO and an MC and bar. You don't get three gongs like that for being shy and retiring. He got the two MCs in France in 1917 aged 19 and the DSO for operations behind enemy lines in Northern Italy, fighting with the partisans, in 1943-44. The Italians gave him the freedom of the city of Belluno for his efforts.
> Tilman, what a guy. The older I get the more I admire him (for his guts, and for his achievements).
Quite apart from his adventuring, he had a DSO and an MC and bar. You don't get three gongs like that for being shy and retiring. He got the two MCs in France in 1917 aged 19 and the DSO for operations behind enemy lines in Northern Italy, fighting with the partisans, in 1943-44. The Italians gave him the freedom of the city of Belluno for his efforts.
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