Least enticing guidebook description

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Looking at the route description for Surgeon's Gully just now I noticed a pitch description to deter the stoutest heart.

"19. 20m. The fourth waterfall pitch."

Doubtless perfectly fair reportage, but still, as a way of not selling a route, can this be bettered?.

jcm

In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

"Kick steps in the cheese". Can't remember the route but it's in the old Avon guide somewhere.

 Steve Clegg 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

”Hunk up on munge!”

In reply to Longsufferingropeholder:

Hmm, I reckon that cheese is the top out description for one of the New Quarry routes. No idea which, they all sounded being pretty grim!

1
 petegunn 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

I like the one for Lilo at Brimham Rocks

"Awkward, strenuous, dirty, protectionless and frightening - well worth seeking out!"

 DaveHK 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Anything that threatens to build my character.

In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Lower Wye Valley description of Tintern Quarry:

The considerable number of bolted climbs described in this guide might give a mistaken impression to some that Tintern is a mecca for mid-grade sport climbing. For the uninitiated it must be clearly stated that the instability of the rock at Tintern places this crag at the distinctly 'adventure' end of the sport climbing spectrum. It is definitely not the crag for the inexperienced.  In fact this is not the crag for people of a nervous disposition, the accident-prone, the unlucky, the uninsured, those who are easily disheartened or anyone with loved ones.

Al

 Tyler 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

> Looking at the route description for Surgeon's Gully just now I noticed a pitch description to deter the stoutest heart.

> "19. 20m. The fourth waterfall pitch."

I'm not sure that would put you off if you've already climbed 3 waterfalls to get there

 jcw 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

All difficulties now lie above

 Basemetal 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Coffin Chimney (4b) on Loudon Hill..." To the right of Epitaph there's an overhanging green slot, climb it."

 HardenClimber 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Arran, Torr Nead an Eoin, 

Verdant Gully 60m VD

The messy gully to the right of the tower. The rock, where it appears, is not to be trusted.

 full stottie 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

"Grovel up the left branch. Try the back crawl."  Lone Tree Groove, Black Rocks. 

 Mick Ward 16 Jan 2021
In reply to jcw:

> All difficulties now lie above

Love it!  You can see tears streaming down the faces of strong men... and women.

Mick

 Babika 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

"Holds imaginary, protection nil"

Wish I could remember which route this referred to but I've never forgotten this classic description.

Mind you, might be just the attraction for some.

 Kalna_kaza 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Babika:

> "Holds imaginary, protection nil"

Indian Face?

2
 Gav_92 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Came across this earlier, surprisingly gets 0 stars. Have walked around that area and Suprised anyone tried to climb anything there let alone put it into a guide book. 

Climb is shake, rattle and roll 60m hvs 4b

"the rock above is quite steep and very loose, crux and leads on to the grass field which was front pointed up to an easing where a belay was taken on a broom Bush and axe pick (40m 4a)"

 Babika 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Kalna_kaza:

Nope. Definitely pre-dates IF. Its on grit somewhere. Buggered if I can remember where. 

 Pedro50 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Babika:

I thought it was Nosferatu at Burbage South but I can't find it in a guide book. 

 tew 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Not a single climb, but an entire location...

10 internet points for the first person to guess it right.

The guide book description is:

"It is definitely NOT the crag for the inexperienced. In fact this is not the crag for people of a nervous disposition, the accident prone, the unlucky, the uninsured, those who are easily disheartened, or anyone with loved ones"

Post edited at 20:37
 Pedro50 16 Jan 2021
In reply to tew:

Tintern Quarry?

 Myfyr Tomos 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

I suppose it's where your interests lie but...

"This route is included because of its great botanical interest rather than the beauty of its climbing. It is a gully in which vegetation has grown in remarkable profusion and variety."

Hanging Garden Gully, Cwm Idwal.

Rock Climbing in Wales, Ron James.

 webbo 16 Jan 2021
In reply to tew:

You might do well to read the posts higher up the thread.

1
 Pedro50 16 Jan 2021
In reply to webbo:

> You might do well to read the posts higher up the thread.

As might you lol

1
 m dunn 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Basemetal:

It's not 4b any more; never was in fact. 

 ben b 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

"A tedious approach to a blunt ridge ascended with loose and unpleasant scrambling above a dangerous start […] the terrain remains treacherous and a lack of easy escape is the strongest motive for continuing. Only those experienced in dangerous terrain should consider an ascent, and they would be wise not to bother.”

b

Removed User 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Babika:

> "Holds imaginary, protection nil"

> Wish I could remember which route this referred to but I've never forgotten this classic description.

> Mind you, might be just the attraction for some.

It's Piece of Mind at the Roaches. Wonderful description which meant I just had to climb it. I think this description appeared only in the 80's guide.

 Myfyr Tomos 16 Jan 2021
In reply to ben b:

Yr Esgair?

 Basemetal 16 Jan 2021
In reply to m dunn: (Re Coffin Chimney)

> It's not 4b any more; never was in fact. 

I hope you mean it's a sandbag... it put me in hospital in 1980 when I couldn't get out of the top before my grip failed and looked down to see no optimistic PKs had stayed in!

 Andypeak 16 Jan 2021
In reply to full stottie:

> "Grovel up the left branch. Try the back crawl."  Lone Tree Groove, Black Rocks. 

My nemesis climb. 

Gone for good 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

From Volume 4 of the Chatsworth guide.

This gritstone quarry lies just to the east of the A6 in Darley Dale, about 5km north of Matlock. The quarry is being extensively worked; the area is one of indescribable chaos and all the routes originally described have gone. This brief description is only included so that if anyone stumbling into it by accident, will, if still alive, be spared thinking that they have found the, as yet unrecognised climbing ground of the future. 

 skog 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Well, there's...

SMC Skye and the Hebrides Vol 2:

"Gribun, Creag Mhor (Map Ref 465 362)

Like Skye, Mull has many impressive basalt cliffs. The following route should be able to cure anyone of a desire to climb basalt.

Loosey Simmons 130m VS 3c (1987)
In the middle of the cliff is a deep gully, ten minutes from the road. Climb the ramp which slants up left from the base of the gully, and finish with a through route. The technique is to climb the route faster than it falls down. Parking below the gully is unwise.

The deep gully, attempted because it is there, has seen off at least three attempts. It is doubtful if any pleasure could be gained from the experience."

Honourable mention also to SMC Lowland Outcrops, Mauchline Gorge:

"Monstrously Horrible 15m Very Dirty

Slither up or down roots to the right. Several alternatives are possible, the best being to avoid it altogether!"

Removed User 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

A selection of classics in the old Iain Peters North Devon Guide.

"Terrodactyls, ice-screws, stakes and a strong belief in one's imortality are the main requirements..."

 Cornish boy 16 Jan 2021
In reply to Myfyr Tomos:

Correct!

I vividly remember reading that description in Steve Ashton’s guidebook. 

Put me off for life! 

 Andrew Wilson 16 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

“Once past the big roof and into the final groove, the horror eases. “

Dogs of War, Yellow Wall. 

For some reason I find this description both hilarious and captivating. Can’t wait to get on it! 

 Babika 17 Jan 2021
In reply to Removed User:

> It's Piece of Mind at the Roaches. Wonderful description which meant I just had to climb it. I think this description appeared only in the 80's guide.

Thank you! No wonder searching through my 80's Derwent Guide was proving useless. 

Post edited at 10:27
 althesin 17 Jan 2021
In reply to full stottie:

I think that's a bit unfair, Lone Tree Groove is a fine route with a slightly puzzling crux, it would be a shame to add it to this list of Chossey nightmares.

 top cat 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

The holds are mostly good, but replace them after use for your second.  Assuming you have been able to find one.

 full stottie 17 Jan 2021
In reply to althesin:

> I think that's a bit unfair, Lone Tree Groove is a fine route with a slightly puzzling crux, it would be a shame to add it to this list of Chossey nightmares.

I thought the idea was about guide book descriptions that deter people rather than the reality?

I found that back crawl didn't work anyway.

In reply to althesin:

> I think that's a bit unfair, Lone Tree Groove is a fine route with a slightly puzzling crux, it would be a shame to add it to this list of Chossey nightmares.


He's only saying the description is 'not enticing'.

 althesin 17 Jan 2021
In reply to full stottie:

I don't think I did the back crawl either! I think the description encouraged me rather than discouraged, I like a challenge.

This thread seems to have more than it's fair share of loose/ dangerous/ fallen routes. I think they are enduringly memorable to those that survive them.😁

 m dunn 17 Jan 2021
In reply to Basemetal:

I'd have given it strenuous 5a; then the block in the chimney that gave the crucial foothold fell out one winter. I haven't done it since. has anyone?

 S Andrew 17 Jan 2021

I’m sure the description of Nuis Chimney in the Ken Crockett Arran guide mentioned the possibility of encountering live ammunition from a crashed aircraft. Unappealing- particularly if you hit it with a pick.

Or there’s the description of one of Mick Fowler’s expeditions on The Berry (N HighlandsN). Good luck if you get beyond the description of the approach. 

 Dewi Williams 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

The description of Dune crack at Millstone in the 83 guide is not particularly enticing. The grade is 'suicidal' and the description states 'a diabolically dangerous route up the thin sandy crack with a particularly moving step left at the top. Do not climb'

It put me off!

 biggianthead 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Y Gully Haystacks Buttermere (VS traditional)

A route that has everything - areas that make Lego look solid, avalanches of flowers and a traditional chimney pitch of tremendous stature.

Pitch 5. Burrow up the final earthy gutter through the heather jungle and proceed immediately to the nearest hostelry.

 alan moore 17 Jan 2021
In reply to Andypeak:

> My nemesis climb. 

Same here. Never got off the ground on it.

 alan moore 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

There was a route at Froggatt or Curbar that said "stiff legged stick insects need not apply".

That's me out then.

 Lankyman 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Can't remember any description but there's a Lancs route called Grotty Muckden (at Wilton?). With a name like that I was never tempted to engage.

 deacondeacon 17 Jan 2021
In reply to full stottie:

> Lone Tree Groove, Black Rocks. 

I fell off this. The same year that I onsighted half a dozen E5's.  It's not to be underestimated (although I did 🤣).

 Michael Hood 17 Jan 2021
In reply to deacondeacon & others:

Lone Tree Groove - there's a trick to it.

The trick is to watch other people doing it until you see someone climb it elegantly (relatively), memorise, then come back another day pretending you've never seen it before and copy 😁

 Pbob 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

I don't have a copy but I seem to remember the description of Stannington Ruffs (?) in On Peak Rock was quite special. Having read the description I never visited so couldn't vouch for voracity.

1
 Iain Thow 17 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

A friend used to be very proud that a route of his had the guidebook description, "A loathsome thing" (Crocus Cat VS 4b, Culm Coast).

There used to be a 4 pitch V Diff in the old Cader guide called Ape Route, where every noun in the description had either "vegetated" or "overgrown'" in front of it or was a tree.

There's also "The other 'Green Belt' provides an appalling test of stupidity, a must for morons. E4 4c". Not Sum at Willersley, first ascent one mr Doug Scott.

 Mark Kemball 17 Jan 2021
In reply to Iain Thow:

> A friend used to be very proud that a route of his had the guidebook description, "A loathsome thing" (Crocus Cat VS 4b, Culm Coast).

Just a little preview for you from the shortly to be published Culm and Baggy Guide:

9 Crocus Cat 33m VS 4b

The third curving groove found to the right of the main triangular slab. Another loose and unpleasant outing with a poor start, middle, and end.

In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Can't remember it exactly but the description for Black Cleft (Cloggy), in one of the guides, refferred to black slime.  I was not enticed by it at all!

 tlouth7 18 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

It doesn't quite have the lyricism of some of the others, but "Climb the gorse filled groove" on Sunny Scoop (D) doesn't exactly inspire attempts despite the cheerful name.

 Mark Haward 18 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

'For troglodytes and general deviants only... Climb the slab to gain a narrow cleft. Squirm up this, via an excruciating climax though a constricted hole... Lunatics descend the route headfirst'

Any guesses as to the route?

 LucaC 18 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

'Your mates big lead'

 Toerag 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Mark Haward:

I can't remember the name, but It's in the South Devon and Dartmoor guidebook, maybe something on the NE side of Haytor?

 Mark Haward 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Toerag:

Right guidebook, different crag...

 Bobling 18 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

There's one that has cropped up on previous threads that I can't quite remember....something like "The holds above resemble a pile of stacked playing cards...take care not to shuffle them".  Anyone pin it down?

 Richard J 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Bobling:

> There's one that has cropped up on previous threads that I can't quite remember....something like "The holds above resemble a pile of stacked playing cards...take care not to shuffle them".  Anyone pin it down?

The late, lamented, Berlin, at Brownspear Point, Culm.  Somebody clearly did, because it fell down.  Also described as "exhilaratingly loose" - it really was.

 graeme jackson 18 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

I recall reading a new route description in Climber and Rambler sometime in the early 80's.

"unprotectable crux at death height from the ground"

Can't remember where or what route.

 Michael Hood 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Michael Hood:

> Lone Tree Groove - there's a trick to it.

> The trick is to watch other people doing it until you see someone climb it elegantly (relatively), memorise, then come back another day pretending you've never seen it before and copy 😁

I have to confess - I've never actually used that trick on LTG - first led this o/s in 1978 and have led or seconded it a few times since - and each time I've not remembered how I've done it the time before, which is unusual for me because I usually have a good "rock" memory. My log from 1996 tells me "cruised, must have got the sequence right" (seconding) so it is possible to do it nicely.

The other trick to avoid this route is to wander down the hill and do its namesake on Willersley.

In reply to Mark Haward:

Labyrinth?

jcm

 Dave Garnett 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Richard J:

> The late, lamented, Berlin, at Brownspear Point, Culm.  Somebody clearly did, because it fell down.  Also described as "exhilaratingly loose" - it really was.

Yes, it was obviously loose, but in a predictable kind of way, like scree running, upwards.  

More worryingly, Mainsail, not far to its right, was really pretty solid and (I thought) rather fine with its series of large pancakes, like uphill stepping stones.  I was expecting some random holds might part company, or that parts of Berlin (or the even more exciting Eric Pode's Route) might avalanche, but I wasn't expecting the whole point would fall down due to being undermined from the other side.

 Richard J 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Dave Garnett:

Yes, both routes were favourites of mine in different ways, each I'd done a few times before their sad demise.  Once you got the hang of it Berlin wasn't really scary at all because it was so low angled you didn't really need to pull on anything.  But Mainsail was a really great, uncharacteristically solid slab route, one of the best at its grade on that coast from what I'd done.  It just goes to show that the whole of the Culm is somewhat temporary from the geological point of view.  

 Andy Moles 18 Jan 2021
In reply to S Andrew:

> Or there’s the description of one of Mick Fowler’s expeditions on The Berry (N HighlandsN). Good luck if you get beyond the description of the approach. 

Worth reproducing.

The approach ... is only possible for a couple of hours either side of low tide. Abseil directly into the sea from a stake and swim across the narrow geo to ledges on the far side. Continue traversing at greasy 5b to reach exposed boulders. On the far side more greasy boulders lead to tunnels leading through the next buttress. Continue until an awkward diagonal abseil from a poor peg is necessary to gain exposed boulders. Walk through the arch/tunnel to gain the next bay. The route is now clearly visible. On the far side of the bay a surprise geo cuts deeply back into the cliff and necessitates a 25m swim to gain ledges which lead easily to beneath the route.

 alan moore 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Richard J:

I also thought Mainsail was an excellent and presumed it was a solid route! The Wager and Up the Ante were also good with top pitches that involved swimming up loose chippings. 

Hotpoint on the other side was massively exposed and so loose that all the pegs had fallen out by the time I did it. Apparently its fallen down as well now!

 Bob M 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Mark Haward:

> 'For troglodytes and general deviants only... Climb the slab to gain a narrow cleft. Squirm up this, via an excruciating climax though a constricted hole... Lunatics descend the route headfirst'

> Any guesses as to the route?


Windowslit at the Dewerstone.

I've only done it once back in my long-lost youth.  A mate then persuaded his wife that it would be a nice route to do. She enjoyed it so much that she threw up inside the chimney. They are still happily married more than 40 years later.

Post edited at 16:04
 Rik 18 Jan 2021
In reply to Richard J:

How about:

’This is an amazing hole in the ground (alongside which Bosigran’s Great Zawn and Pembroke’s Cauldron appear like pleasant suburban parks, ideal for picnicking and playing catch with the dog)....an overhanging garden that has redefined the rainbow into a spectrum of bilious green slime and liberal quantities of green, white and brown guano blotched here and there with darker mosses and the occasional lump of rock. Entry into it does not encourage a mood of light-hearted scampering towards the sun. The North face is marginally less repellent and provides the only route.’

 Mark Haward 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Bob M:

Spot on

 Duncan Bourne 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Always loved the description of Mam Tor

"The main face is a delightful blend of crumbling shale and a curious dirt which aspires to be solid. Almost like chocolate flakes stuck to the outside of an ice-cream. There are also ribs of sandy rock masquerading as gritstone to lure unsuspecting climbers.No sane climber would be seen dead on this face."

And the access...

"Do NOT park where falling blocks will crush your (t)rusty steed. The best advice for the approach is...don't!"

Post edited at 12:33
 Mark Bannan 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

IIRC, there is a route called "Grot Gully" or something simliar at Rosyth or Neilston or some such similar scruffy graffiti-daubed hole in the ground in the Central Belt. Guidebook description simply says "Yuck!".

 Rog Wilko 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

I seem to remember a description which, after the end of the last pitch, went something like this: "Now lie down and wait for the nice men in white coats to arrive". Can anyone remember this and where it came from?

 Mick Ward 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Rog Wilko:

'Come to Mother'?

1980s Gogarth guide (the one with Andy Pollitt on the front cover)?

Mick

1
 Wingnut 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

"This thoroughly nasty scramble has been included only for completeness. [...] Only those experienced in dangerous terrain should consider an ascent, and they would be wise not to bother."

"The hardest moves are at the top, not helped by the appalling prospect of a fall into the gulch on the right. There are no belay anchors on the shoulder. If repulsed, and you are still determined, the arete can be avoided by descending into the gully on the right to climb a wet, shattered wall using dubious holds and collapsing ledges."

Yr Esgair, from Steve Ashton's "Scrambles in Snowdonia"

 fred99 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

At Symonds Yat (where else);

Strait-jacket 60 feet E1 4c (vegetated symbol). (And YES - it's a Lanchbury route !).

A potentially lethal climb that is exposed, badly protected, and vegetated. A wasp's nest in the top groove may provide a further hazard. 

That's the description from the 1999 guide, in the 2010 version the technical grade has gone up to 5A. I'd like to know which brave person (or fool ?) climbed it to check the grade.

I climbed a neighbouring route in 2009 (30 years after the first ascent of Strait-jacket), and the wasp's nest was still there - and they were being rather "inquisitive" (I did the last 30 or so feet in a hurry without stopping to put in any gear !).

 Trangia 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

There is a route described in an early 1950s Fell and Rock guide book to either Great Langdale or Borrowdale (I can't remember which) which has a delightful description of the final pitch of a chossy climb which reads something like

"The final pitch is only likely to appeal to devotees of vertical grass climbing"

Does that ring any bells? I've searched through both of my old guide books but can't find it!

 Mark Bull 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Mark Bannan:

> IIRC, there is a route called "Grot Gully" or something simliar at Rosyth or Neilston or some such similar scruffy graffiti-daubed hole in the ground in the Central Belt. Guidebook description simply says "Yuck!".

It's at Neilston.  Rosyth has its own delights: 

Route to Root 10m VS 4c Climb the obvious corner overhung by a big tree. Finish on horrendous dirt either left or right of the tree, or better, climb back down again. 

baron 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

‘Before attempting to lead this route on sight, it may be prudent to reserve a bed in Bangor hospital’.

 brian_m 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

The route description's actually alright but 'The Compost Heap that Time Forgot' on 'Upper Chossheap Crag' might be the least appealling route and crag name combination.

 Rick Graham 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Trangia:

> There is a route described in an early 1950s Fell and Rock guide book to either Great Langdale or Borrowdale (I can't remember which) which has a delightful description of the final pitch of a chossy climb which reads something like

> "The final pitch is only likely to appeal to devotees of vertical grass climbing"

> Does that ring any bells? I've searched through both of my old guide books but can't find it!

Look to the area  right of Cascade on Pavey Ark. Gibson's and Bennison's chimney.  

 Purple 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Red Rock Gully (Scout Scar).

18m. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. The back of the deep gully between First Blood Buttress and Born Again Buttress. A few bulges buried deep beneath vegetation, birds' nests and colonies of snakes.

 Mark Bannan 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Mark Bull:

> It's at Neilston. 

Cheers!

>  Rosyth has its own delights: ...

Agreed! Neds with air rifles, taking pot shots at tin cans is one I remember!

 Marek 19 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Not much to compete with some of the other descriptions here, but long ago I read (relating to a route whos name I've forgotten): " ... VS (Vegetably Severe)". Made me smile and move on. I think it was on a crag near Pen-y-Pass near the pipeline, possibly Clogwyn Pen Llechen?.

 Trangia 19 Jan 2021
In reply to Rick Graham:

> Look to the area  right of Cascade on Pavey Ark. Gibson's and Bennison's chimney.  

Thank you! That's it

In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

'One fights it rather than climbs it.' Beanstalk "5b" at High Rocks. Actually, a totally brilliant climb of its type, very hard, technical, perplexing and strenuous all at once. Very 'pure'. Makes Peapod at Curbar seem quite easy. Probably massively undergraded. But all this is from my memory (and logbook) 46 years ago!

Post edited at 01:06
Removed User 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green, Orange and Purple and Blue (E2 5a) on the Rainbow slab

"the easiest way up the slab but virtually a solo proposition; there are some very arbitrary runners at 25m - these may save you from the mortuary, but not from the casualty department at Ysbyty Gwyneth"

Climbed it in '97 according to the little black book

 Wingnut 20 Jan 2021
In reply to Marek:

>>VS (Vegetably Severe)

Broad Marsh, on Craig Aderyn, in the CC Llanberis guide.

"struggle along left through dense undergrowth to the clutching embrace of some ancient stunted oaks ..."

Another crag in the same area has a VD - Very Dirty.

In reply to Wingnut:

Isn't there a 'Vegetably Severe' or something like that there too?

Always appealed, even though it clearly shouldn't...

In reply to Rob Greenwood - UKClimbing:

If that appeals you should try Pencoed Pillar... John Sumner's guidebook descriptions have a habit of going to other way to some of the ones on this thread. Not discouraging enough!

 Wingnut 20 Jan 2021
In reply to Rob Greenwood - UKClimbing:

Broad Marsh *is* the "vegetably severe" ... sorry, should have been clearer.

In reply to Wingnut:

It's good to see that it's raised more than one eyebrow

That said, has anyone actually done it?!

 MischaHY 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

'Oft Nass' or 'Often wet'. It was. Profusely. A combination of aid and squirming saw me most of the way up the corner until the bolts ran out and I gibbered my way through the 8m runout on wet slippy limestone to reach the 'belay' which was a homemade bolt-carabiner combination that looked like it was only halfway into the rock. We abseiled after two more pitches of similar upon realising that the remaining 12 pitches of runout slab were also piss-wet through. 😂

Gloria Patri (VI+)

Post edited at 13:50
 Wingnut 20 Jan 2021
In reply to Rob Greenwood - UKClimbing:

No ascents in the UKC logbooks ... funny, that!

(o::

In reply to baron:

> ‘Before attempting to lead this route on sight, it may be prudent to reserve a bed in Bangor hospital’.

Paul Williams on some slate route, right?

jcm

In reply to Wingnut:

It's a wonder it hasn't been raised within the 'route you want to climb above all others' thread

They don't know what they may or may not be missing out on...

Removed User 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

> Paul Williams on some slate route, right?

> jcm

I suspect its the description I have shown above.

 Baron Weasel 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Back Castle crag has 3 routes listed:

Pointless 

Less Point 

A Nasty Animal In Sheep's Clothing 

 Rog Wilko 20 Jan 2021
In reply to Mick Ward:

> 'Come to Mother'?

> 1980s Gogarth guide (the one with Andy Pollitt on the front cover)?

> Mick

Thanks. I thought someone would know (unless I'd made it up).

 Mike-W-99 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Jake's Jungle Route (XS 4a)

Don’t have the guidebook to hand but the one here is close.

”An arboreal experience, climbing on vegetation the whole way”

ive climbed there a lot but never been tempted

baron 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

> Paul Williams on some slate route, right?

> jcm

Correct.

Raped by Affection. E7 6c

 John Gresty 20 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Can I nominate Great Gully on Cwm Cau. The description is spot on. Years ago I did it in the winter, subsequently returned a couple of years later to do a summer repeat.  A true adventure.

John

 HappyTrundler 21 Jan 2021
In reply to Gaston Rubberpants:

I have climbed there dozens of times, I just don't get that description, sure, you can see lots of unstable looking stuff, that is avoided though.  It is mostly big shiny bolts and lower offs, and solid rock, don't be put off I say !!....

 GrahamD 21 Jan 2021
In reply to HappyTrundler:

> I have climbed there dozens of times, I just don't get that description, sure, you can see lots of unstable looking stuff, that is avoided though.  It is mostly big shiny bolts and lower offs, and solid rock, don't be put off I say !!....

Its whether the solid rock is attached to the other bits of solid rock that matters ! Impressive place, mind.

1
In reply to HappyTrundler:

I've climbed just about every route in the quarry and whilst I agree with you, to some extent, I think the description is amusing but accurate. I would say that the quality of rock at Wyndcliff quarry is arguably worse as it is composed of blocks on blocks. At least at Tintern there are large "slabs" of continuous solid rock but even then it can be friable.

Al

Post edited at 10:19
 JimR 21 Jan 2021
In reply to Basemetal:

> Coffin Chimney (4b) on Loudon Hill..." To the right of Epitaph there's an overhanging green slot, climb it."

47 years ago there used to be a chock stone  in it, it’s now at the bottom of a gorse bush on the hillside below when I pulled it out when soloing. I can say that gorse does effectively break a fall although there are side effects!

 brianjcooper 21 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

Sadly, I no longer have the old guidebook to be more precise on the route in a Peak District quarry.  Something like:

"A few feet from the top move leftwards to avoid committing suicide".

 cousin nick 21 Jan 2021
In reply to johncoxmysteriously:

'A fast descent for the competent. Even faster for those not so!'.

I think this was Parsley Fern gully, but I may be wrong.

N

 Wingnut 21 Jan 2021
In reply to cousin nick:

Yes, Parsley Fern. "a descent for the competent and a much faster one for the incompetent"

Wouldn't say it was exactly unenticing, though ...

 robate 22 Jan 2021
In reply to Andy Moles:

This is wonderful, I particularly enjoy the prospect of having to complete the approach against the clock of the tide; sounds lethal I wonder if it's been repeated?


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