UKH

If we "graded list" these, we can have a new grading system that everyone agrees on*!

Piolet d'Or

Olympic finalist

Can join the Climbers' Club

Can join the Alpine Club

No recorded fails or DnF on UKC

Gets you mentioned in Rob Greenwood despatches

Invalidates your trekking insurance

Hasn't been soloed in fancy dress

Can climb 100*s at Birchen

More than 10% fails or DnF on UKC

At least one known hospitalisation/rescue

At least one benightment

Been climbed no handed

What did I leave out?

*Obviously not.  Obviously a joke.  Don't be humourless and grim to be around.  Like a little online black hole where no amusement or light can escape.  Don't be that person.

I'm struggling to understand all of these these as descriptors of climbs rather than climbers......

But I'm enjoying the principle. 

You left out:

Climbed as a party of 10 with headtorches. 

Besoiled by at least one toilet accident

Requires scythe/ strimmer

Surely being avalanches has to be there ?

Has been climbed on mushrooms. Which I can confirm adds ~4 grades to a Welsh HVS. 

Hey Snoop, do you employ someone to prep your mushrooms?

Can climb HVS at Wimberry?

Yes, my friends delivered them on fixed lines on push day. That and my beloved super sendy tape. 

Surely, there are only two grades (long since forgotten who the quote was by)

It's a path

F****ng impossible

Suitable route for a lady

I'd argue that standing sensibly is VD with shrooms. 

I can’t really compare as (in my mind) I’ve literally never stood sensibly on shrooms. Well there was once when I was convinced I was soaking wet and had that been true I’d have been doing a pretty sensible stance. But it wasn’t because I wasn’t. 

Unfortunately the late Doug Scott is not here to adjudicate