Why are there not more trains up UK mountains? Why are there not more cafes on the tops. Don't get me wrong, I like walking up mountains and enjoying nowt but a lonely trig point and a lovely 360 view but sometimes I just feel like taking a train up a mountain and going to a cafe instead. The lack of both does us a great disservice. Y Wyddfa has one and Cairngorm has one and the Eiger even has a tunnel through it but I think we need more balance and put these things on at least half of our hills and mountains. They have them in all the flat parts of the country so why not bung them up our lovely mountains.
Other things like motorways and landfill sights are far uglier so that's a good reason why we should. We've got lots of paths which we could replace with railways. If walkers don't like the trains, they could always just pretend they are not there and walk on the tracks and occasionally dive out of the way. Someone else can pay for, build and maintain the things like. I just want to rock up and ride.
We could even put gyms and climbing walls up there too so we can get our exercise in conveniently without having to touch anything ghastly like moss and that. Sometimes I get up there and think it would it be great if there was a cinema here because I can't wait to get back down to civilisation before watching a film so that's a good idea too.
All these old-school bare mountain top people have been gatekeeping and monopolising our mountains for far too long and its not fair to the train riders. It wouldn't be a big deal, or even worth mentioning as nobody would notice if they were a long way away doing something else. It's only minimal damage. Anyway walkers erode footpaths so they should all stay at home anyway.
Sorry, just couldn't help myself.
Well of course in parts of the world that don't involve Yorkshire, there are plenty of trains up mountains, and even better, they festoon the mountain with cables, and even hang little carriages on them so you can go up and down to your heart's content. These are very convenient if your focus is on starting at the top of a mountain rather than getting to the top of one.
Dont forget the bridges - nice goat attracting bridges. Of course we should go further. Some of these "hills" are ugly lumps that get in the way of some great views.
> Why are there not more trains up UK mountains?
In England we have a conservation body called Friends Against Railway-ed Tops. The movement began in the Lakes in the early 20th century when there were multiple protests against railways onto Scafell Pike, Skiddaw and Helvellyn. Eventually, the various protest groups amalgamated to form the Organization of Lake District Friends Against Railway-ed Tops sometimes shortened to OLDFARTs
I think there is a good chance Mike is a troll troll troll. His profile says he is 99 so he's obviously lost his marbles and has no right to comment. He should immediately gaffa tape his gob up.
Go watch the camel racing!
Whilst we're on the subject, what mechanised access would be best for UK mountains? funicular, cablecar, chairlift, or something else? Would travelators/escalators do? Should we tunnel in horizontally then put in a vertical lifts to the tops?
If we take our lead from Cairngorm, what's important is a) someone makes a lot of money out of it, b) it turns the mountain into a permanent building site and c) it doesn't work.
I do think it's about time Helvellyn got a proper airstrip, only one landing so far, it's clearly an in demand location. Ryanair could probably market the flights as Keswick International Airport then transfer you.
> If we take our lead from Cairngorm, what's important is a) someone makes a lot of money out of it, b) it turns the mountain into a permanent building site and c) it doesn't work.
I had to reread b) to make sure you weren't describing most of the current government's policies.
> Whilst we're on the subject, what mechanised access would be best for UK mountains? funicular, cablecar, chairlift, or something else? Would travelators/escalators do? Should we tunnel in horizontally then put in a vertical lifts to the tops?
Someone once suggested a Stannah Stairlift up to Castle Rock of Triermain. I’d be for that!
'Ryanair could probably market the flights as Keswick International Airport' I think they would be more likely to market it as 'Manchester (Keswick)' and lay on a bus for baffled foreigners.
We followed some old bloke once limping with a stick to Cloggy, we thought he would have done better with a mobility scooter.
Then he put his stick down and pi$$ed up Jelly Roll. It was Martin Boysen.
I find it really annoying when people walk past me loudly or try to say hello to me out on the hills so I can't hear the music coming from my portable Bluetooth speaker.
To fix this we need to install proper sound systems along all our major paths so we can always hear our music. A little laser light show here and there to match the music wouldn't go amiss either.
It's 2022, we need outdoor music solutions that reflect that!
> I think there is a good chance Mike is a troll troll troll.
> To fix this we need to install proper sound systems along all our major paths so we can always hear our music. A little laser light show here and there to match the music wouldn't go amiss either.
Maybe have a bunch of drones which can be rented out which carry the sound system and orbit in a pattern a few hundred metres up to play the music? Could do some pretty cool laser displays as well.
Only joking, it was another extension of the parody of the other thread and not personal in any way. I'm (potentially) the troll troll. Which makes you potentially the troll troll troll. I guess that might also makes me the troll troll trolly troll