UKH

Apparently "I had to drive for 30 minutes with my kid in the car to check my eyesight" was the best Cummings and Co managed to come up with.

So what excuses didn't make the cut?

"We had no WiFi in the run down cottage that definitely isn't a second home so I needed to get 4G to check my email and Barnard Castle has great reception" 

"I thought I saw a fox and I was concerned it would threaten my child, but everyone knows foxes are afraid of Barnard Castle so it was the only safe place to go"

"My 17 and 20 year old nieces developed symptoms so I had to get childcare from my great aunt Peggy Sue who is Queen of Bernard Castle"

I'm sure you can all come up with better ones, but I need distraction in my final stretch of essay marking...

GlaxoSmithKline have a factory at Barnard Castle. Being a so-called expert on viruses, I thought I should at least know how they spell their name, so I drove there to check the spelling.

The thing is, this is now the only thing people are talking about. It's a lie, we know it's a lie, he knows we know it's a lie. It's like Prince Andrew going out for a pizza.

It has done a great job of distracting from his corrupt, insolent and disgusting behaviour and I fear that, like with Prince Andrew, it'll get brushed under the carpet over the next few days. In a few weeks there will be a story 'Top Tories distancing themselves from Cummings' and then all will be fine. Come election time no one will remember this, just as they didn't remember how disgracefully Boris acted during the run-up to the Brexit referendum. I just hope I'm wrong.

I fear you are right, but I've got to try and get through the day!

However...today's resignation keeps it front page. Starmer will murder BoJo at PMQs tomorrow. It isn't done yet...

there isnt one for some reason.

Johnson is in front of the Liasion committee later on though.

Yes, further resignations would be great. It'd be doubly great if GSK at Barnard Castle came out and said they met with Cummings. It would almost be better if he'd just told us that in the first place.

Which excuses didn't make the cut?

"I'm an arrogant lieing bastard who thinks he is above the Law.
Us and them? I'm one of 'them'."

Parliament is in recess at the moment for Whitsun, until Jun 2. A shame, as Starmer would have such fun. 

Parliament is in recess, so will be another week before the next PMQs.

The Tories are trying to get MPs back into parliament after the Whitsun break, as they don't like the public seeing uninterrupted questions asked by video link, and their leader* having to justify his actions without a wall of noise behind him.

* I use the term in its loosest possible sense

Ah yes I forgot about the recess.

Labour has been quiet - I was assuming they were keeping powder dry, ahead of PMQs tomorrow. I wonder what they are actually up to then...

As I understand it social distancing will still be in force in the debating so the usual braying will be muted.

The main business in Parliament is in committees (some would argue debates are in unnecessary part of the legislative process) and there is pressure to get these going again.

That said, some stuff must have been happening and for the life of me I don't see why Parliament can't work like any other big office full of knowledge workers i.e. though Zoom calls with everyone working from home.

Never interrupt your opponent when they're making a mistake.

If Labour had immediately demanded a resignation they would have shot their bolt and had nothing further to say. Dragging things out by asking for more details and an enquiry is more damaging to the Tories. The media are keeping this going for now and the public is overwhelmingly in favour of sacking Cummings so it's better to let things continue as they are.

The other reason is that if Labour are too strident in their complaints the argument becomes a party political one and people retreat to their normal sides. By avoiding this they have allowed Tory MOs to criticise their own government, one cabinet minister has resigned and the right wing press are free to criticise the government without appearing to support Labour. 

Yes I agree with that - I had just assumed they were going to hit them tomorrow. Can this keep burning for another 8 days? Maybe. If not, I wonder if they have something up their sleeve for in between. 

At any rate - how refreshing to see a competent opposition! It's been so long!

David Lammy has written to the Lord Chancellor requesting clarification on the legal position.

https://mobile.twitter.com/DavidLammy/status/1265291894763945991?s=20

'Can this keep burning for another 8 days? '

They really, really don't need to. The government is its own worst enemy. It's not about perception, or spin - it's about the reality of what they actually achieve. And they have consistently screwed up at every turn.

Actually by next week their test, track and trace efforts will be in (expensive) tatters. Serco will be arguing with Capita, who won't be talking to PHE, who will be blaming the NHS, and Hancock will be blaming Starmer... Watch and weep.

(1) "I absolutely HATE visiting lovely towns by the river on a jolly with my family during lockdowns"

(2) "The UK public are a bunch of idiots who will believe anything. The bigger the lie, the more people will believe it"

(3) "My eyesight suddenly got better, but I still can't see my own future"

I had forgot it was my wifes birthday so needed to pop down the shops?

30 miles.  Each way.  Not 30 minutes.

The witness accounts sound very much like it was all day - bluebells and a picnic I think.

Edit: on his wife's birthday it turns out

"I categorically deny that I am the Mekon from Dan Dare."

I never dreamed back in 1962 when I first read about him that one day he would have taken on pink flesh and taken over our actual Government

I thought I'd visit my old School but forgot, probably because of the eyesight problem (and that corroborates other aspect of my account) that I'd been at Durham, not Vane Tempest Academy at Castle Barnard - we only played cricket with Castle Barnard but I'd got a bit confused, what with all the anxiety of having a little one to look after ..

I felt I’d got away with driving north but it was almost anticlimactic so I decided to try something slightly more audacious to ensure I was fully turgid for my wife’s birthday.

My guess is at least one senior Labout MP has been cheating lockdown too and they are scared the right wing press might have pictures they will use at the most opportune moment.

That would already have happened if so. And for Starmer it would now be a win: he sacks his own MP from whatever shadow position they have (who cares, bring them back next year) and says “your turn now Boris”