UKH

Hello,

I'm booked in to have this done at a local clinic in mid January and I'm interested in the physical after effects, if any, from those who have had the op.

I appreciate you might not want to post under your usual name so feel free to email me through the site.

I'm 50 and not at all interested in having any more kids at this point, but am mainly concerned with the physical (rather than psychological) side effects of this procedure, which will be the "no scalpel" method.

Eye watering stuff, but rather that than a child!

I had mine at St james' in leeds in 1993. Colleagues suggested it would be quick and painless - freezing sprays and lazers etc

In fact, as it's a teaching hospital it was a big needle in each bollock followed by some student doc hacking away with a blunt scalpel. The first one was ok but uncomfortable. the second, the anaesthetic didn't 'take' so my screams as they cut into my scrote could be heard right through the outpatients waiting room. A second jab was called for but I was hyperventilating by now. Apparently all the other guys that morning had walked out to recovery under their own steam. I was wheeled out on a bed.  The pain lasted for several days - anyone who says it was over with quickly and they were back to climbing/cycling/shagging etc within days is a lying bastard. 

I had my vasectomy 2 years ago. I rested for 3 weeks and that was all! Perfectly fine after that, climbing and mountain biking without any problems. Good luck! 

I was fine with in a couple of days, back to climbing/cycling/shagging. Anyone who says that they weren't just needs to man up. lol

Wear some tight fitting garment for a week, scrotal support. Just go gently for a few days.

OK, so mine is the extreme end of the scale and I do encourage laughing as on reflection it is hilarious. I will add though that all my mates who have had the snip have been fine, had the no-scalpel type and were just a little sore for a few days.

As a kid I had two major ops on my plums, one to correct an undescended testicle, the other to put right a kick in the bollocks playing rugby when metal studs were still allowed. The latter resulting in a hefty split that required more than an innertube patch.

45 years later, a bit of failed IVF, which ultimately resulted in rugrats being conceived naturally after drunken nights out (they have invoices for the money spent on them) and it was time to get the job done.

Left plum, no prob, the procedure is a bit squirmy and you gasp a little as the surgeon type person squeezes to make sure that they are getting the correct bit of the vas deferens and is over and done with PDQ,

Right plum, OMG it hurt, it hurt so bad.  Turns out I have a lot of scar tissue to get through to find the vas deferens and the 'palpating' of my plum became rather vigorous, so vigorous that my knee shot up, smacked in to the surgeons chin, split his lip, and brought the whole procedure to a halt.

End result of that day was me in tears, a very irritated surgeon, and half a vasectomy. HALF A VASECTOMY! 

Right plum was eventually done under general anaesthetic. 

Yours will be fine though - I promise

I guess the thread may well develop a degree of natural bias!  Mine was 1991.  I remember chatting about some local rugby game to a nurse throughout, some minor discomfort at one point and being given a support pouch, which in a certain light passed as a posing pouch and which led to the inevitable (perhaps gentle) testing out of the procedure that night.  Not sore at all after the events of the day and following confirmation of success, haven't given it a moment's thought since.  Thirty years of not having to consider contraception is a benefit that is hard to overestimate.

Normally the surgeon can say "This won't hurt me  a bit", but you proved him wrong.

Great story.

Great tale...chuckled out loud at that....I'm just  in a Microsoft teams meeting....got my camera turned off but had left my microphone on!!!

typo?

Had it done about 5 years ago, no issues at all. Back to climbing and other physical activities pretty quickly, except for cycling, that was uncomfortable for a couple of months rather than just a couple of weeks. Just make sure you're patient and follow all the post op advice like wearing tight briefs and avoiding heavy lifting. And don't be tempted to avoid contraception until you've had the final sperm test (2 months or so later I seem to remember) because your little swimmers can hang around and cause trouble for longer than you might think post op

Had a daughter in 95 and son in 98, so one of each, job done. Son born on Friday, I was down the  docs first thing Monday morning!😂

Got referred and booked in for day surgery, the scalpel variety, under a local jag in the gonads.

After prep I was wheeled in, then asked if it's ok for med students ti watch!  Slight hesitation but yes says I.  Surgeon then says, to me:

"Oh by the way, if YOU want to watch, there's a mirror on the ceiling "😂😂😂😂😂😂 Like I wanted to watch someone take a knife to my bollox!😂😂😂😂😂😂

Op was fine, but.... I got an infection in my scrotum and ended up on antibiotics, sore as fek....

Advice?  For me, great thing to get done...don't underestimate not worrying about contraception. Secondly, wear tight pants afterwards... good support required   Thirdly, after a test drive, I was comfortable everything worked fine afterwards. Shagging with no worry, happy days!

Am I only one questioning that this is the only thread the OP has ever started, or commented on? It’s quite an intimate and private subject, which I’m not sure I’d want to open up about in a public forum.

That said, there’s a couple of crackers of replies already. 

I suspect CPW is one of our other regulars using a different name for the purpose of b***ck chat (as opposed to chatting b***cks, which is my normal use for the forum).

Exactly, which is confirmed in this thread (so this isn't the only one that poster has started or returned to): https://www.ukhillwalking.com/forums/off_belay/help_with_legal_terminology-724...

It's not me!

Edit: doh! Too late, the poster has owned up already!

My surgery went fine. They cut a piece of tube from both testicles. The doc asked if it wanted to see the removed tubes. I said yes. Looked like two small pieces of macaroni. Next thing I felt like sh1t and spewed up everywhere. I felt very stupid lol. 
I concur about tight fitting clothing. Felt like a brick was tied to my bollocks and swinging between my legs. Support is essential. I took a full week off from work and did no lifting. Was fine after that. Don’t do the macho thing. Why risk f*cking it up. Rest and you’ll be fine. 

A week after mine I was abbing in Denham quarry to photograph some naught dry tooling scars. No ill effects at all and everything workings as it should. It doesn’t hurt as such (local) put feels uncomfortable like stomach  camps but lower down. most embarrassing thing was the info sheet they’d sent me beforehand, it said to shave down there, the surgeon told me while doing it i only had to shave the ballsack, not the whole lot 🤣

Wife says there is no difference in taste 😉

Ah…..I see 😀

I almost spat out my coffee.

There's an irony. 

I watched (was sat in a dentist type chair so just looked down), quite an interesting but rather surreal experience.

Advice to OP, take daily photos to produce a time lapse sequence showing the spread of any bruising - wish I'd done that 😁

Shagging after a couple of days!!!! Is 71 too old for the operation?

This is probably not helpful, but I made the best joke of my life when I had the snip.

It was at the local GP's and he was grovelling around my undercarriage behind a sheet, and I remarked that it seemed like a lot of fuss for an ingrowing toenail... 

He wasn't amused.

No probs here after we decided three kids is enough. Had the surgical procedure, and went to judo training the very next day, with some tape in the key places (no problem since I had to shave anyway). Admittedly it did hurt a bit, but as they say, that is only pain.

Cycling took longest to be pain free, about one week.

The best part was when the surgeon wanted to give me a sick note for the remainder of the week, and I declined as I had to go back to lab immediately after the procedure. She asked me what I was planning to do and I told her - truthfully - that I still had to dissect testes from a couple dozen flies....

It took some time before she had stopped laughing enough to make the last few stitches!

CB

skillz, does that mean you'd only have 1 twin?

I had mine almost 13 years ago after sprog no2, under general.

No major issues other than swelling, and turning the same colour of ripe damsens, plus some weird bruising down my inside leg.

Back in 'action' after about a week.

A good mate of mine was going to have it done, was booked in and everything, but backed out the morning of the procedure, having spent some time scaring himself reading up on the risks and possible complications.

That said, I overheard a couple of colleagues at work have had it done with no issues, although WHY that was being discussed in an open plan office is beyond me! On a par with overhearing another colleague booking her smear test!

Anyway, I digress.

My wife has hinted about whether I'd like to have it done, as we're not planning on having any more kids, but I'm of the opinion that I don't want anyone near my nethers with anything sharp!

Have you heard about the Redneck vasectomy - put a fire cracker in an empty beer can and count to 10...

Eh, I’m The King of talking bollocks. Have I ever told you about my little/large accident?  

Hahaha, 

Had mine done in 2015 aged 34.  Misses at the time was a sperm jacker and had the first one through removing her contraceptive without my knowledge or consent! Locked me in and a second one 18 months later.  

Simple choice for me, either get it done and keep having more.

I told the healthvisitor after the second that I wanted the snip and she told me I was sleep deprived and not thinking straight, went to the GP and booked in straight away.

I was half way through getting ready for expedition to Kazakhstan and ended up having to take 3 weeks off as I developed a third bollock for a while and couldn't walk properly for a few weeks.

It was a lovely sunny Friday afternoon when I had it done so picked up some wine and a few beers on the way home and had a great afternoon consuming them on the sundeck out back so that probably led to more bleeding and the third bollock so be warned

Zero psychological issues over it and best thing I ever done.  New girlfriend loves it as she doesn't need to be worried about being on the pill long term, we have 4 kids between us so defo not wanting more.

Apparently reversal isn't impossible either, so I would say do it!

Wow!  That’s advice, not a warning.  Three Bollocks here I come!!

You havnt done any of those things since 1984 !

So, my friend has hilarious stories about getting his done in France but no bother and my uncle had one reversed when he remarried and had two more children.

Good luck and share any funny tales.  My friends was not quite as good as the singletrack picolax thread but it was funny.

Cheers

Toby

Mine was utterly problem free no swelling or pain or anything.

However I remember lying there on the table and having a monitor clipped to my finger, so I had an audible beep of my heart rate. Great, thought I, equipped with this feedback device I will attempt consciously to reduce my heart rate and achieve ultimate relaxation (local anaesthetic only as I recall).

It worked very well and I lowered the old heart rate bit by bit until I passed out completely to the consternation of the doctors and it was out with the oxygen to revive me. Marvellous thing the human body... 

Seemed like but a visit to the dentist to me but at least you can chat more easily. Surgeon did have to cut three tubes after noticing the extra one. He claimed it was the first he'd seen three in 25 years of surgery.

You are never too old....

You total bitch......

No you have not. Do go on!

Had mine done under a local . All very relaxed....radio on in the background. But then they played " The first cut is the deepest". I'm sure the medics were pissing themselves!

Having once been sent on a job to castrate some deer only to discover as I merrily threw the first bollock into the bucket that they really wanted them vasectomised - just make sure you pay attention during the consent process!

I asked for pillows to be able to watch, then we walked a fair way to the supermarket and carried a stack of shopping home, then up the steep hill to the pub, and later we tested the tackle. Stitches fell out, but the surgeon had done a fine job with the cauteriser. The cuts are barely 1mm. It's a piece of piss, seriously. DM if you need more info. 

That sounds absolutely brutal. No lasting damage I hope?

Far more hardcore than the time I went to A + E with grapefruit sized scrote but that's a story for another time. 

In good news, I've just LFT'd negative. It's a Christmas miracle! 

I replied before reading the thread. Brilliant stuff guys. Laughter pain. My story is no word of a lie. They even reconfigured the op table so my partner had room to watch too. Invited her to video! And on taking my leave they shook my hand and said it was the best vas they'd ever done.

I even wrote a poem about it. I'll dig it out for my UKC Xmas pressie. 

Nobody has mentioned long term after effects. 
When I had mine (1992) I was given an A4 sheet to read and sign in consent. The list of possible side effects is huge and worth taking note of. Now, many years later……….
PM me if you wish to discuss further. 

The illness side effects came on over a time. Before I got I’ll, I was joking around, using a courgette, a tomato and my red climbing helmet as demonstration props. It’s all on video, just awaiting the call from Stephen Spielberg to make the film. 

Is that like having 16 valve bollocks?

The injections weren't great, but tolerable.  Doc was doing his thing with the scalpel and a nurse was chatting away to keep my mind off things.  First side - fine.  Second side - I nearly went through the roof.  The nurse stopped chatting as she realised I wasn't paying any attention - grey and sweating, clinging onto the couch for all I was worth.  My wife had accompanied me - as I walked unsteadily out, she was halfway through asking 'How was that?' when she saw my ashen face, staring eyes and sweat-soaked shirt and just said 'Oh'.

I meant to reply to this - spermjacker - excellent coinage. When one turned into three. It destroys trust. 

ob hop
 
Thrush tugging on a worm, pale
worm pulling from the sparse meadow
of my self-shaven sack, buttercup-

hued with yellow iodine (fake-tanned
groin: I must have dozed in the sun
wearing unseasonable crotchless chaps).

Golden genitalia, gilded in the figleaf zone,
prone statue (no Apollo, I) pillow-propped,
curious, 'insouciant', absurdly 'amused'

as the benign decorator glorioles my balls,
cock, thighs; (I catch your synaesthete's eye,
wondering what sound this colour tastes;

you smile as if caught in a naughtiness),
and then I'm quite intent on the ball-
ache: deep, disturbing, as the nagging

needle shoots its load, intent to see and feel
fully this closing-off of futures. Chirrip.
Jet-eyed turdus. The beak-tipped clamps nip,

and the knife-tip scoops off the cream:
two tiny u-bends, vermicular segments
gobbled down the crop of the cul-de-sac bird.

It's a one-way-stream now to that pond, my love,
and all the tadpoles mass and granulate,
and sunnily self-digest their demi-lives.

Spiders weave and threads are tied, nimble
knots are thrown and pulled quite taut;
these sutures seal potentialities (and

later we toast the ghosts of my tubes
with milky pastis. "You've had more than your
fair share," you'll say. And I'm still greedy.)
 

I had a much milder injury not requiring hospital treatment in a vaguely comparable situation. It was enough to teach me an unforgettable lesson even 25-30 years later it is fresh in memory. I replaced the black diamond alpine bod harness immediately after that one with one that worked for me

I had mine done in 1979. I payed to have it done but they still spent 15 minutes trying to talk me out of it even though I was paying their wages.

Contrary to everyone else, the surgeon only made one cut between my jewels and reached both tubes from there. Have I been short changed?

I went for a vasectomy because I didn't want kids anymore.....    

But when I got home they were still there

Regarding side effects... I had the snip last January and had ongoing pain for about six months.  It felt like a small to medium sized goblin was repeatedly hitting me in the nuts with a modest hammer (this is still preferable to the idea of a fourth child).  Fortunately the pain disappeared and I am a very happy patient, no regrets at all.  Not trying to scare you off just want to balance out all the gung-ho war stories above!

If your partner is of similar age then the menopause won't be far away. Have you considered just wearing a glove until there's no chance of making babies?