Van porn

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 mike123 30 Mar 2020

For When this is all over :

( warning , not safe for anybody with a spare £100k )

youtube.com/watch?v=1kSDrTEmpzc&

 Sean_J 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

Cue the usual comments about it being an overpriced pile of sh!te

 Rob Exile Ward 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Sean_J:

'Off grid campers.' Yeah, right. Boys and toys.

 Graeme G 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Sean_J:

For £100K I’d want a shower.

1
 Tigger 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

Cue taken...

100k and I'd have to shit next to the bed?

I'm sure someone would buy it just to say that they have one, not to use it as intended.

A well finished off grid camper can be had for £1000's leas than that.

Post edited at 08:58
OP mike123 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Tigger: I just checked  somebody has bought it . If my long lost  uncle Tarquin, who doesn't exist , pops his clogs and leaves me a couple of million Swiss francs , I'm having one . When you pull up next to me in your homemade Ducato conversion ( #vanlife) feel very welcome to mock me as much as you like.  After you're bored mocking I'll make you an espresso on the la mazrocco GS3 I'm going to have built into the kitchen . Don't ask if you can use the bog though  . It's next to the bed . 

Post edited at 09:18
 Tom Valentine 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Rob Exile Ward:

For wild camping.

 Tigger 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

Ducato? Please it's a Merc Vito (ok so it's an 06 plate). But it is truly off grid, complete with oak shaker doors and no need to shit next to the bed

OP mike123 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Tigger: mines going to have ........er ...er ...gold taps  ..... , yes gold taps ,  inset with chris boinngtons whiskers ( he goes to the same barbers as me and I've been collecting them ) 

Post edited at 09:26
1
 henwardian 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

Very interesting

I'm a bit upset that they managed to source windows that could be opened in the rain. I looked for those when I was converting my van and couldn't find any, so kudos for that one.

Not without it's advantages, obviously, but seeing as it is priced for millionaires, here's what I'm going to call out:

I'm going to call bullshit on the off-grid credentials until proven otherwise. An induction hob is going to suck any leisure battery dry in an incredibly short length of time, irrespective of whether it's lithium ion or lead acid. And the solar panels are not going to keep up with usage unless you are camping in the Sahara Desert.

There is no oven - rookie error on a van this bespoke.

Living space and table are tiny because of the permanent bed position. Some way to temporarily fold that away and make use of the space would have been nice.

While the storage in the "garage" (well done on that bit of pretentiousness) is impressive, if you have bikes in there, the rest of the storage is really pretty limited. There are a few small drawers and cupboards but nothing larger for large items. I know I would find this pretty frustrating.

Overhead storage without a front in an off-road monster is just asking for anything you put up there to end up on the floor.

6'3" for a bed is no good for me... now I know I'm tall, but realistically you need 4-6" more than your height to comfortably sleep in a bed without feeling jammed in. This limits the bed use to really only short people who are 5'10" or less.

"custom mattress" - nonsense statement - spec the right thickness and density of foam and get it cut to size. That's what everyone does. I've got a "custom mattress" in my van too.

Sink is tiny - no opportunity to throw the dirty dishes in it and just drive away.

Worktop space is non-existent - food prep is going to have to take place on the tiny table, you don't have to get very fancy at all before this will feel crowded and frustrating.

Hard to tell from the video but it looks as though the kitchen takes up so much of the doorway, it would be awkward to even step in through it. Can you imagine arriving back to this van with soaking kit? Where are you going to strip and drip? There isn't a single position where you could stand while wet without soaking the seats as you take your wet kit off.

There is a wicked-sharp corner above the entrance to the door from the overhead shelving that you are going to crack your head on quite a few times before you get use to it being there. Why isn't it nicely rounded off like the cute rounded-off corner of the kitchen?

Side-opening fridge is going to drain the battery that much quicker than top-opening.

It's nice to have more standing-up room for the front swivel seats but they have surrendered over-cab storage.

I think that's enough for now.

1
 Rob Exile Ward 31 Mar 2020
In reply to henwardian:

Yep, you've talked me out of it.

And to the poster above - I would have thought the definition of wild camping is camping somewhere you can't drive to, 4x4 or not? Mine certainly is.

 peppermill 31 Mar 2020
In reply to henwardian:

Hehe. I was more thinking if I had the cash I'd rather spend half on a pop -top transporter and keep the rest.

I know it's big but looks like it's still small enough to fit in those lovely parking spaces and laybys they have every few hundred metres along the roads in the highlands. It's also big enough to drive over those silly wee signs in them that stop you properly driving on the verge. Still not bothered to read what's written on them ;p

 Tigger 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

Tried to formulate a response but I'm out matched, I doff my cap to you sir (and your tap)

Post edited at 10:08
 gethin_allen 31 Mar 2020
In reply to henwardian:

One other thing I would change about the bed is the bare metal of the back doors next to the bedside. Even with good ventilation you are guaranteed to get condensation on the metal on a cold night. This will either need mopping up every morning or it will wet the bedding.

Also, those custom made carbon fibre side pods probably cost a fortune and on top of looking crap, will get in the way of wing mirror vision, destroy the fuel economy and probably get smashed into by overhanging trees in lanes.

OP mike123 31 Mar 2020
In reply to henwardian:

Have a like . 

OP mike123 31 Mar 2020

In reply to Removed Usercapoap: on the same footprint as a krafter ? Do these people do gold taps ? 

 DerwentDiluted 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Tigger:

> Ducato? Please it's a Merc Vito (ok so it's an 06 plate). But it is truly off grid, 

We're saved! A vehicle that doesn't need petrol, diesel, LPG  or electricity!

OP mike123 31 Mar 2020
In reply to Tigger: I wonder if these people ( vanworks Etc ) have to field emails along the line of .....where will you fit my espresso machine ? How much extra would  gold  taps be . Well , if they didn't before .....

Post edited at 11:35
 Tigger 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

How much for a shower curtain?

"Well sir that'll be an extra 15k, you see the fabric is woven from Chris Bonn.... What do you mean there's a stock shortage?

 Darron 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

It’s all very nice but the vid displays rather well the disadvantages of any van this size - space. A PVC gives masses more practicality (usable loo, usable cooking/dishwashing space/more storage etc, etc)without any, significant, decrease in ‘driveability’.

Of course old gits like me buyPVC’s so they are not cool 😎.

 Tom Valentine 31 Mar 2020
In reply to peppermill:

Yes it would make mincemeat of the machair.

On a different point, for three years my pride and joy was a 20 year old Nissan Vanette  converted by Wheelhome, 3.9 m long and the pisspot was nowhere near the bed.

 Baz P 31 Mar 2020
In reply to mike123:

You wouldn't be able to get two bikes of the same size in there, the handlebars would interfere.

 Darron 01 Apr 2020
In reply to mike123:

In summary it seems a masterful example of form over function!

 Tom Valentine 01 Apr 2020
In reply to Darron:

It seems that PVC s are more expensive than similarly sized and featured coachbuilts. Is this the case?

 Darron 01 Apr 2020
In reply to Tom Valentine:

Sorry, I don’t really know. I’ve always assumed coachbuilts as more expensive but that could be because most are bigger than PVC’s.


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