/ Top greatest comedy moments in rock climbing

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The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020

Morning, 

Bit of a thread mashup

Suggestions for the top comedy moments in rock climbing ?

I myself cannot really think of anything that funny.

Help me out here .

TWS

Tony the Blade 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Johnny Dawes falling and his belayer catching him with inches to spare, he looks to camera and says... "There's belaying, and there's f*cking belaying!"

Oh how we laughed, and replacated on  numerous occasions.

From the 80's film Stone Monkey.

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Tony the Blade:

> Johnny Dawes falling and his belayer catching him with inches to spare, he looks to camera and says... "There's belaying, and there's f*cking belaying!"

> Oh how we laughed, and replacated on  numerous occasions.

> From the 80's film Stone Monkey.

Never seen that film.

Chris Craggs Global Crag Moderator24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Me appearing out of the the top of Starvation Chimney at Wimberry with my fibrepile trousers and my shreddies round my knees much to the surprise of a bunch of passing ramblers might be up there?

Chris

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Chris Craggs:

> Me appearing out of the the top of Starvation Chimney at Wimberry with my fibrepile trousers and my shreddies round my knees much to the surprise of a bunch of passing ramblers might be up there?

> Chris

I know some climbers use nuts for protection but that's taking it a bit far

;-)

Brilliant sounds like a very tight squeeze or was it just a warm day and you needed cooling down ?

Post edited at 09:11
StuMsg 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Boogie 'til You Poop

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

I've been in a situation as an early climber at Castle Naze when I got to the top of a route,  set up a belay and started pulling the rope up which conveniently lifted out nearly all of the gear I'd placed.

It was of course on purpose.   

I was helping out my second by passing him with gear that had slid down the rope to hit him in the balls.

Try climbing after that mate !

;-D

TWS

spenser 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

I did something similar with a size 5 friend at Chatsworth shortly after I started leading, it sounded like my belayer was in rather a lot of pain!

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to spenser:

> I did something similar with a size 5 friend at Chatsworth shortly after I started leading, it sounded like my belayer was in rather a lot of pain!

Not just me then . 

PS: I hope your well and your recovered from the injury .

Darron 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

They say comedy is all timing.

Alex Honnold, with millions of viewers more gripped than he, as he completes the crux traverse on his free solo of El Cap. Glances at camera and briefly grins. Brilliant.

LastBoyScout 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Climbing at Dancing Ledge on a sunny, summer's day - one of the bolted routes, desperately trying to clip the bolt. A small boy, who'd obviously been told off for climbing on things, shouted up at me "That's dangerous, get down", then turned to his Mum and said "Mummy, make him get down".

Ab'd into Subluminal at Swanage, only to have to prussic straight back out when it suddenly started snowing. At Easter!

Surprised the life out of a group of walkers taking pictured at the top of Symond's Yat when I pulled on to the of of the long stone from the other side of it.

graeme jackson 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> From the 80's film Stone Monkey

> Never seen that film.

Try to.  Absolutely brilliant in it's day. His ascent of the Quarryman is incredible.

Chris Craggs Global Crag Moderator24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> Brilliant sounds like a very tight squeeze or was it just a warm day and you needed cooling down ?

Tight chimney, 'sticky' fibre-pile clothing, no harness = comedy moment!

Chris

OMR 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

If anyone is sufficiently bored, I wrote a piece about a climbing debacle at the Etive Slabs - the day the tree broke.

https://cairngormwanderer.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/etive-capers-a-historical-document/

Thugitty Jugitty 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Topping out on a quiet day at High Tor to interrupt a couple who were sharing an intimate moment.

nikoid 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Old film of Joe and Don on The Gates

Joe(leading): "Are you standing on the rope, Don?"

Don: "Aye, do you want me to get off it?"

Or words to that effect.

Hat Dude 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

I've posted this before but think it's worth re-airing

Approx 25 years ago I was at Burbage North when what I can only describe as three comedy yorkshiremen turned up. (Think younger versions of Brian Glover, Ray Mort and Douglas Livingstone in "Shakespeare or Bust" and "The Fishing Party" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIKA101zABg ).

One of them proceeded to attempt leading Long Tall Sally; he struggled as far as the bulge but could go no further and lowered off. Next they decided to top rope but with no more success than before. All this was performed with maximum palaver plus minimum competence and by now had attracted a surreptitious audience of bystanders.

The runner that had been lowered off was still left in the route and instead of abbing for it; for some strange reason, one of them decided to climb hand over hand up the doubled rope and hang on with one hand while he tried to get the wire out; all this was performed with a ciggie in the corner of his mouth. His feet slipped off and instinctively he tried to grip the rope with both hands but couldn't stop himself sliding to the deck; as this was happening, the ciggie fell out of his mouth and down the front of his shirt. The audience were then treated to the the sight of him wailing and leaping around, not knowing which was burning him worse, the rope burns on his hands or the fag in his shirt.

Post edited at 10:23
Blue Straggler 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Chris Gibb and Ron Fawcett's "acted" dialogue for camera on Rock Athlete (the famous 1980 film of Right Wall, with the "Come on arms" quote)

https://www.mntnfilm.com/en/film/first-ascent-1980

About 13 minutes in, Chris wittering on about the tatty "rerp", also earlier after slogging up to the Cromlech, they get to the foot of the route and say "well, there it is then", which me and my main climbing partner repeat at the start of most routes now. 

Tom V 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Chris Craggs:

In spite of the old guide book's admonition about unfair excuses, I would actually like to know the weight record for people doing this route. It seemed a very very tight fit as a 17 yr old  gangly youth.

JLS 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Tony the Blade:

> Johnny Dawes falling and his belayer catching him with inches to spare, he looks to camera and says... "There's belaying, and there's f*cking belaying!"

> Oh how we laughed, and replacated on  numerous occasions.

> From the 80's film Stone Monkey.


It was funny at the time but I think funnier things have happened in Yosemite since.

2
GrahamD 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Someone shouted up to someone at a belay ledge next to me "is there space up there", to which the reply was "no mate, space is a lot higher up!"

Blue Straggler 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Jason Kruk's dry heaving on this

https://rockandice.com/videos/climbing/boogie-til-you-poop/

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Blue Straggler:

Ah, I remember seeing this before now .

I don't actually understand which bit is funny. 

Can someone tell me the time stamp of the funny bit ?

Baron Weasel 24 Jan 2020
In reply to StuMsg:

> Boogie 'til You Poop

Link here

https://www.vimeo.com/13831211

Baron Weasel 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Pete Livesey belaying Bonnington up footless crow and Bonnington is shouting take in while Livesey pretends not to hear then says I'll dangle a fiver down in front of you cos they say you'll do anything for money. 

Blue Straggler 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

> I don't actually understand which bit is funny. 

> Can someone tell me the time stamp of the funny bit ?

If you need to ask, you'll never understand it. Probably easier to just move on and look for something else funny. 

1
McHeath 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Only a top comedy moment on a personal level for me, but we laughed a lot:

The crags in the Elbsandstein area could be very hard to find pre-1990; a lot of them involved thrashing about through the undergrowth until you found what you hoped was the base of your chosen sandstone tower. The higher regions of this would be hidden by trees, topos didn't exist, so you quite often found yourself baling out half way up what had turned out to be the wrong route.

So Nino and I had been fighting the midges and thorns and were pleased eventually to find our chosen route, supposedly a pleasant classic Severe crack. Nino started up it and was hidden from view by the tree branches after about 5m. He took a very long time, and all I could hear were strings of expletives in Tyrol German, Rumanian and English. Eventually the rope stopped moving and I heard a bellow of laughter. I asked what was up, and he shouted down that I should come up and see for myself, and that I should enjoy the climb. 

The pleasant classic Severe turned out to be a disgustingly dirty and mossy offwidth; his only protection had been slings tied off around the puny tree roots which occasionally protruded from the rock. After an epic fight and covered in dirt I reached the top. Nino was sitting belayed to a huge picnic table made of massive logs, next to a broad hiking path with much family traffic. Behind him rose a beautiful sandstone tower with an aesthetically delightful clean crack up the middle; it looked to be about Severe, and definitely classic. We'd climbed the pedestal of the tower, an activity which is against the Saxon rules because the climb doesn't end on a proper summit.

It really was a horrible climb. 

The Wild Scallion 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Blue Straggler:

> If you need to ask, you'll never understand it. Probably easier to just move on and look for something else funny. 

Now that's funny. 

;-D

Blue Straggler 24 Jan 2020
In reply to StuMsg:

> Boogie 'til You Poop

Oops I hadn't twigged that you were referring to the Jason Kruk thing already (as I could not remember the route name). OK so you were first but I posted the link at least  

Chris Craggs Global Crag Moderator24 Jan 2020
In reply to Tom V:

Well I was a lot slimmer back then than I am now - but I must have been 14 stone - could be a record!

Chris

mick taylor 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

C'mon guys, there really is only one:  that bloke shitting himself...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc8L-74Ilck

Although the guy (was he called dangerous dave or similar?) falling whilst soloing a crumbly v diff (he said it was 5.13c or summat) and filming it all on his head cam comes (in a sadistic way) a close second.

Blue Straggler 24 Jan 2020
In reply to mick taylor:

> C'mon guys, there really is only one:  that bloke shitting himself...

It's been referred to several times already Mick!

mick taylor 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Blue Straggler:

Whoops !  I'm being particularly thick today !!

Tom V 24 Jan 2020
In reply to Chris Craggs:

'Fraid not since the old guidebook cites 16 stone......

Toerag 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Nick White's South Devon & Dartmoor guidebook, I've had many a chuckle reading that.

Beanmanclimb 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

John Dunne's questionable first ascents

16
DenzelLN 24 Jan 2020
In reply to nikoid:

What about where the bit where Joe relays the story about a friend that to prove that he hadn't lost his nerve removed a shoelace hitched it around a tree, put the rope through it and abseiled off.

To which Don replied - that's amazing, with just one shoe on?

Cracked me up

nikoid 24 Jan 2020
In reply to DenzelLN:

Yes, I do remember that now, I might have to try and find that again! 

artif 24 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

A freind and I were messing about traversing some Cornish sea cliffs. We had just crossed a small beach to climb up the cliffs, it looked simple enough so I started soloing up leaving the rack etc in my rucksack. About 20' up I mantled on to a narrow ledge and got well and truly stuck, basically doing the splits on the ledge with no hand holds to help me up. Feeling more than a little nervous and wondering just how much it was going to hurt when I fell backwards on to my mate below. I glanced down and immediately felt a lot better. A strange mix of fear and pissing myself with laughter at the sight of my mate  looking up at me with pleading eyes, while he was having a conversation with a middle age man, wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses. Turns out the beach next to Porthcurno is a nudist beach. 

Blue Straggler 25 Jan 2020
In reply to mick taylor:

Don’t worry, I missed the first mention myself! 

L Timy2 25 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

Hi,

Pete Livesey dangling a £5 note above Chris Bonnington as he followed him up Footless Crow on TV broadcast, classic!

Slackboot 25 Jan 2020
In reply to The Wild Scallion:

I saw someone doing Striding Edge wearing a black bin liner. They hadn' t cut out any arm holes so their arms were pinned to their sides.


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