The laughing faces leered at me and started to hurl good natured abuse in my direction. I was about to second the notorious traverse of The Pause on Etive Slabs. The Scotish climbers occupying the 'crevasse' definitely wanted to see this sassenach take the big swing. What made it worse was the lack of protection my partner hadn't placed to safeguard me. It would be a fall worth watching if I messed up! I gritted my teeth and under a constant barrage of criticism and name calling I manage the pitch without coming off. They lost interest. I was with my usual pals for a week of climbing in the highlands. They were all brilliant climbers and as usual I was the worst by far. Still I could generally second what they could lead so I had my uses. One of them arrived at the stance having soloed up. Then he was off again. He seemed to be able to 'walk' up the slabs while I definitely had to 'climb'. He was all over the slabs that day, nothing could stop him!
The next day we were at another great scottish venue. Having climbed the 3- star classic of the crag in big boots and rucksacks we were walking back underneath the main buttress when I noticed the huge blank central section, which was capped by overhangs. I checked the guide. There were definitely no routes through those overhangs in this guide. A grass choked crack soared up to the waiting roofs. I spent all the next day raking out that crack with my 'prodder'. It was ground- up cleaning. I could hear the voices of other climbers talking to my various belayers. The phrase 'seige tactics' wafted up. I just kept cleaning. When I was finished a huge pile of grass lay at the bottom of the crack. The first pitch was cleaned though it still looked like the dirtiest crack I had ever seen. The top overhangs were clear of grass but I eyed up some loose looking blocks on a traverse line under the overhangs. It looked harder than the crack.
The next day I was back. I tried to lead the crack but I wasn't good enough. I was gutted! My chance at glory, gone! Even after I had found the route and done all the hard work cleaning, it would be another who would take the prize. The lad who had been soloing on the slabs a few days before led it easily. The crack was ok in the end but still very dirty. The traverse through the roofs felt harder but plenty of gear had been put in to protect me this time.
While those lads all went on to do great things in the world of climbing I remained a 'bumbly'. Just happy to get out climbing now and again. I was very disheartened at my lack of ability. The route has become a 3- star Scottish classic at the grade and my name is in the guidebook albeit last. In my head and heart I wanted to be like Hermann Buhl and Walter Bonatti but in reality I would always be more like Norman Wisdom.
