UKH

Give me a challenge. I’m good. Very good. 

Try carving a sweede instead.

🤯

^can you carve that?

I value my fingers too much. 

Easy. 

Donald Trump. 

A globe, complete with place names and scale.

a French horn

Mine and the kids efforts from last year. Mine is the least impressive.

Nice one!  Will try and find my efforts of two years ago. 

i did this one at the height of Minion mania

Just for Halloween I think we should call Saturn Satan ...

Because the idea of a mad titan devouring his own children isn't horrifying enough?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_Devouring_His_Son

In reply to thread:

Just a reminder that carved pumpkins don't necessarily have to be elaborate to be scary.  (And that midwives are evil sometimes.)
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/dilati...

I don't want to sound all "four yorkshiremen" here but that's all we had as kids, only we seemed to call them turnips, rather than swedes...? I think we got the two things mixed up.  But anyhoo, pumpkins were the reserve of extremely posh people and Americans

It took ***ing hours and your fingers and wrists were ruined by the end of it.

I might do one this yeah.  The smell of candlewax and roasted turnip (swede?) flesh brings back amazing childhood memories.

Swede (and even turnip) tastes far better than pumpkin as well.

Or split the difference with a nice squash instead? 
Crown Prince or Kabocha maybe.  Also much more tasty than a pumpkin (delicious roasted), but easier to carve than a swede or a turnip.

One of my cousins last week told a story about when they were so poor, they had to use a potato. 

Swedes are bigger, more yellow flesh and often milder in flavour than turnips.

Possibly, but where I grew up (Newcastle) we all called them turnips.  Maybe still called turnips...

yeah, that's what I mean.  We called them turnips in Sunderland too!  Swedes (as far as we're concerned) are tiny things.. couple of inches across

Swedes are turnips in Scotland and elsewhere too, the name comes from "Swedish turnip" but they've also been known as yellow turnips (as opposed to white turnips).  They're Rutabaga to the Americans apparently, which was news to me.  This is definitely the vegetable that was traditionally carved before pumpkins came along, not the other kind of turnip.

Lots of etymology here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutabaga

So what are "neeps"?  Short for "tur-neeps"?

Neeps are swedes aren't they?

It's the other way around according to Wikipedia - "neep" is the older word, and "turnip" is derived from it.

"In Scotland it is known as turnip, tumshie (also used as a pejorative term for foolish or stupid people) or neep (from Old English næp, Latin napus).
<snip>
Some will also refer to both swede and (white) turnip as just turnip (this word is also derived from næp).  In north-east England, turnips and swedes are colloquially called snadgers, snaggers (archaic) or narkies.  Rutabaga is also known as moot in the Isle of Man and the Manx language word for turnip is napin."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rutabaga#Etymology

El Cap

When I moved darn-sarf as a young adult, I once went into the local green-grocer and asked for a small turnip (expecting something about the size of a crown green bowl).  I was a bit nonplussed to receive some pink and white thing about the size of a gob-stopper.

!!YES!!.  the word "Narkies" popped into my head there and you beat me to it.  I remember the tradition of knocking on neighbours doors, showing them your turnip (*) and expecting some sort of handout...and then hearing talk of the big kids going around smashing the young 'uns turnips.  A past time known as "Narkie Bashing"

(*) - this is not a euphemism.

I've been trying to think of an item to adequately describe the size of the thing I was talking about.  A crown green bowl does the job exactly.

That goes for 4 Durham men too

I should think Rutabaga might be germanic like Gelbe Ruebe for carrot

According to my mother in law, maker of the world's largest pasties, neeps are turnips and swedes are the big yellow ones that go in the pasties.

I like that. 

It says there:
"This comes from the Swedish dialectal word rotabagge, from rot (root) + bagge (lump, bunch)."

You might be right though, maybe what it means by "dialectal" is a particularly germanic form of Swedish.

Right, my thread so I will be the judge...

Neeps are turnips, normally small and peppery and white with pink tinge.  Swedes are bigger and yellow and cheaper and used to pad out the very expensive venerable vegetable ‘The Carrot’.   When you have neeps and tatties in Scotland they actually serve you Swede. Proof in the photo. The End. 

That’s luxury that is.  We were that ‘ungry  and cannibalistic that we ate our cousin and then  carved a sculpture of Nigel Farage out of our cousins severed head. 

And you try telling the kids of today that. And they won't believe you

They won’t !

If you don’t mind me asking, what’s in your pumpkin? (illumination purposes). 

Tea lights, three in each (looks better and less chance of them all blowing out)

Round here it’s sort of the unwritten rule that if you’ve got decorations outside your door you’re up for trick or treating, otherwise leave folk alone.

Same elsewhere?

I live on quite a newish estate, loads of young families, same ‘rules’ here. First year we moved in: 130 trick or treaters!  Between 80 and 100 ever since. 

I have a soft spot for this classic:

https://images.app.goo.gl/Zh2JsqkZTWqekrjn6

Can you carve a consensus and send it to Glasgow? I fear you are our last hope....

It would be hard to make it look good.... Too hard for me, but would be awesome for someone with talent!