UKH

Oh for the anonymity of living in a city as opposed to a town.

Wandered into chemist’s just opposite work, conversation went along the lines of :

Me – Hi, I’ve got something called jock rash and need some cream to treat it with

Chemist – no problem, you’re XXXXXX aren’t you, you train with the Tri club guys

Me – errrr, yes, I am

Chemist – don’t worry, you train with my husband XXXX – anyway, he uses this cream, prefers it to this other cream blah blah blah

Dam, dam, dam.

Is there chemist/customer confidentiality or will this tale be told at the next training session?

It'll already be all over town.
Have you noticed people talking to each with their hands over their mouths whilst looking sideways at you?

Blitz it with the cream!! Mine advised a two to four week application and whilst the symptoms cleared after two weeks the jock rash would always return a couple of months later. After a four week treatment it cleared for good. Also, don't dry your bollocks with the same towel you use for your feet!!

Edit: I'd read the advice on the leaflet as there's probably different types of creams!

I feel your pain, my doctors receptionist is someone I know and the wife of the guy I work beside. I had some issue with severe haemorrhoids a while back. brutally embarrassing conversation followed. for me at least. 

When I had my vasectomy the theatre nurse was a woman who lived just up the street

Out of interest, which cream?

/asking for a friend

Are you sure its not Thrush, and that its not come from her?

The gossip or the rash?

You're a fungi!

Harvey Denton lives!

Small town, probably both.

Offensive... But funny!

Being completely shameless about these things has a great deal in its favour.  I recommend bringing the subject up before anyone else does, possibly by asking her husband how his problem is faring and then telling him what his wife recommended to you based on how he's got on with it.

There comes a point in life when you realise that being embarrassed about anything is utterly futile...

T.

Precisely. It's only the body. Imagine if it were the mind...

Do pharmacists have to take the Hippocratic Oath (like doctors)?

To my mate Chris (ex "Scum Club") if you see this, perhaps you may enlighten us?

M

Great advice! Athlete's Bollocks is hellish painful!

Haha! Having athletes foot which is a fungal infection (like thrush) - I'm wondering whether one can contaminate one's knackers with it - I'd ratther not find out!

Any mycologists in the room?

Mental health isn't something to be embarrassed about either, I don't suppose.

Asos chamois cream is your answer. You do wash your kit after every use don't you?

And yes. Everyone will now know.  

As far as I know jock rash, thrush and athletes food are the same thing or very similar.  

I'd recommend a flucanazol capsule  for thrush and clotrimazole cream. 

As above, it's nothing to be too embarrassed about.  

For a man?!!!!!!

Well, for all the good that’ll do, you may as well shove it up your arse!

Blimey. I know athletes have a strict diet but even so...

T.

Quite.  And I'm not sure what people mean by jock rash, if it's the same as crotch rot (Tinea cruris) it's not the same as thrush (Candida albicans) or athlete's foot (Trichophyton or any of a variety of other fungi) anyway.

Sure, but guess I wasn't really talking bout mental health, y'know

Not unless his female partner has thrush.

I find what happened was that...

A Salvation Army Band played
And the children drank lemonade
And the morning lasted all day

or is that just in a Northern Town?

Hey mamamama

Must be a bit embarrassing picking up your viagra then

Depends what you’re picking it up with

A friend of mine reckoned the best part of his job as a Proctologist/GP was that his patients crossed the street to avoid him and never talked about their health if he met them in the pub.