In reply to Raskye:
Oh god. I recall being sold some sheets of pertex from a shop by Euston station when I was off to do the coast-to-coast in the school holidays with my girlfriend. What a great idea, we thought. We soon discovered that you can create the exact same effect more cheaply by trying to dry yourself off with a bin liner.
These days a microfibre cloth does a far better job, and if you use the same one for the dishes then you get to experience the flow of fragrances. For the first few days, you smell faintly of tomato soup. By the second week all food smells like your underpants.
If you get some sunlight and warmth you can at least keep it from growing too many bacteria and/or fungi.
I hope some more helpful answers will be available
b