Climbing Films: Clichés and Pet Hates

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 C Witter 13 Apr 2020

I guess probably quite a lot of us are watching more climbing and mountaineering films than usual, at the moment. I was wondering if we could do some useful community service during these difficult times, and provide some feedback on particular pet hates and clichés you gag on. 

I'll kick us off:

1. Opening with scenes of pretentious coffee making. Why?! It's everywhere! Perhaps it's that everyone wants to make a "day in the life of your favorite [sic] climber" type film. Anyway - far too many aeropresses, mokas and bean grinders. Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it.

2. Endless films about wealthy Americans with massive SUVs telling you "to live your best life". "Like, climbing is, like, the only place I can, you know, really be myself - where I feel really free." Please cut the pseudo-profound bs. Good dialogue is not necessarily "spiritual". "Come on arms, do your stuff!" Nothing could be more material, more immediate and more memorable.

3. Climbing films featuring very little actual climbing. Just endless friends and acquaintances telling the camera: "The great thing about them is, not only are they, like, a really, really great climber, but they're also, like, just a really great person."

The coffee making is the only thing I really can't stand, though.

Ta,
CW

1
 kwoods 13 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

It becomes clear, I don't watch nearly enough climbing films.

 Anotherclimber 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

I'm with you on this, CW. Plus dizzying head cam footage and the almost always dreadful, irritating background music - why have it at all?

 gravy 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

That specific genre of climbing films that feels the need to involve the significant other, in particular those featuring a female climber where the film maker feels an insurmountable need to explain their success by referring to their boyfriend.

 climber34neil 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

Tedious shots of driving to the crag, leaving the house, drinking coffee, swearing with their mates, having a strop when they fall off and generally filming themselves on routes / boulder problems that are way to hard for them just so they can make a film about "their journey to project" 

Pretty much all of the videos on epic TV "sick sends" show, dull and tedious in the most part.

The rock and ice weekend whipper however is great!

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In reply to Anotherclimber:

Yes, in about 9 out of 10 climbing films the choice of music is amazingly bad, often about as ill-suited to the mood and rhythm of the action as one could possibly imagine. So you have to turn the sound down, or off completely.

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OP C Witter 14 Apr 2020
In reply to climber34neil:

Yes - there's almost a James Bond type narrative arc to a lot of climbing films. There always have to be a few artificial lows before the highs!

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 Basemetal 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

Music. Particularly when there's dialogue under it, but even just when it drowns the sounds of the activity. Unless you share the filmmaker's taste it presents an aesthetic that you might not appreciate and so detracts from the film.

TVMountain videos on YouTube get it right most of the time ( music free, tho sometimes  just a bit to much approach).

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 kingborris 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

You've forgotten slo-mo blowing of excess chalk from hands

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OP C Witter 14 Apr 2020
In reply to kingborris:

True! And the way the camera lingers on the brand logo on the climber's shoes as they step up.

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 gravy 14 Apr 2020

The way the story lingers on the "inspirational" / "mentor" bloke in many climbing films about women climbers (esp. in US).

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Le Sapeur 14 Apr 2020
In reply to Gordon Stainforth:

> Yes, in about 9 out of 10 climbing films the choice of music is amazingly bad,

Maybe 9.9 out of 10. Sometime in the early 90's when masters of stone was being produced they thought that death metal/thrash music was an appropriate soundtrack. In 30 years it's not improved. However it's down to licensing and paying for cheap music when the film budget is tight so it's understandable. But still awful.

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Le Sapeur 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

"The mountain".

 Barrington 14 Apr 2020
In reply to Le Sapeur:

> Maybe 9.9 out of 10. Sometime in the early 90's when masters of stone was being produced they thought that death metal/thrash music was an appropriate soundtrack. In 30 years it's not improved. However it's down to licensing and paying for cheap music when the film budget is tight so it's understandable. But still awful.

Johnny D on The Quarryman to Frank Zappa can't be bettered really, so maybe none of them even bother to try anymore?

 wbo2 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

Twiddly pseudo folk music.  When that goes on the volume goes down. 

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Le Sapeur 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

However........I would challenge you to make a better film. Have you tried? Climbing is (mostly) really boring to watch. It's a very difficult subject matter to make exciting. 

 GHawksworth 14 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

the use of "futuristic" to describe every single route. Mainly just Sharma, but it's seeping out and means nothing!

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OP C Witter 14 Apr 2020
In reply to Le Sapeur:

Yes. Robert McFarlane seems these days to be the only person allowed to write an introduction to a book if it has any sort of vague connection to nature or the outdoors. I'm not sure how he finds the time to get out in the hills with that sort of output...

OP C Witter 14 Apr 2020
In reply to Le Sapeur:

Given that I've never had the opportunity to use a video camera, I also really doubt I'd make a good climbing film. But, that doesn't stop me from having a good moan

 Andy Clarke 15 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

> Yes. Robert McFarlane seems these days to be the only person allowed to write an introduction to a book if it has any sort of vague connection to nature or the outdoors. I'm not sure how he finds the time to get out in the hills with that sort of output...


His grad students write all that stuff for him. He's probably out roof climbing as we speak.

baron 15 Apr 2020
In reply to Le Sapeur:

> However........I would challenge you to make a better film. Have you tried? Climbing is (mostly) really boring to watch. It's a very difficult subject matter to make exciting. 

Some climbing films are boring because they involve routes that most of us can’t do.

There’s a series of films on YouTube by Perry Yapp - hope I’ve spelt his name right - that are not technically brilliant but are enjoyable to watch because they’re routes that I have either done or that I might be able to do one day.

 tlouth7 16 Apr 2020
In reply to C Witter:

Far too many films fall into the trap of not featuring Dave MacLeod. This does not apply only to climbing films, I've seen huge Hollywood blockbusters which are utterly devoid of his calm, measured tones.

OP C Witter 18 Apr 2020
In reply to tlouth7:

I'm definitely a fan of MacLeod, and very much enjoyed the recent 'Undiscovered' film, as well as 'Transition', 'E11', 'Echo Wall', 'The Long Hope', etc. All really great. But, I have to say, in his (very knowledgeable, frequently helpful, sometimes inspiring) VLogs... he does go on a bit, doesn't he? Any advice on how to do something is usually prefaced by half an hour of how not to do it! I feel the NHS could prescribe some of those 20 minute introductions instead of medication for insomniacs.

In reply to C Witter:

Scrambling films are the worst.

1. Twenty minutes filmed out the window of somebody's car.

2. Half an hour of them walking from the car park to the start of the scramble.

3. Put their phone away because they need their hands.

4. "Oh that was awesome, we've done it."

5. Another twenty minutes out the window of their car on the way home

Post edited at 17:26
OP C Witter 19 Apr 2020
In reply to tom_in_edinburgh:

I've a feeling you've been watching Trail Magazine's best efforts!


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