I can't explain why I found myself on the A66 cycling over to the Lakes that day. It was one of those bad decisions that had unforseen consequences. Normally I would be pedalling through the much more lovely and sensible Wensleydale via the chip shop in Hawes. But today, as the lorries thundered past, inches from my pedals my only hope of sanctuary was the caravan selling tea and burgers half way over. I was obviously causing the overtaking lorries problems judging by the the horns and hooters that were directed at me. What a fool I was coming this way. As I approached the Tea caravan after surviving the first part of the journey I noticed a group of tough looking blokes in a group obviously waiting for something more than a burger. I knew there was going to be trouble when they greeted me with the words "Here's the idiot ".
To be fair I could tell that they were genuinely concerned for my safety as they pointed out the error of my ways over a cup of steaming tea. The leader, a rough and hard looking Glaswegian said, " right then, get his bike". They proceeded to tie 'my precious' to the top of a load of steel plate on one of the huge lorries. "Mmmm I wonder if they're stealing my bike" I mused to myself in a quiet non -confrontational sort of way. Shortly after I found myself hoisted in to the cab of the lorry. " And now I'm being kidnapped! " I thought.
We drove in convoy, all the lorries carrying steel plate (and a bike) from British Steel on Teesside and heading for Scotland. I sat placidly in the cab listening to 'Jock's' tales of haulage adventures. It went through my mind that I would soon feature in one of these stories. The 'CB' radio cackled into life. " Breaker, breaker this is Musclemass to Crusher over........ the bikes come off! " Panicking I searched the huge rear view mirror for any sign of my bike. It was still there! The radio was full of the roaring laughter of truckers highly amused at my discomfort.
They dropped me and my bike at a slip road on the M6 and sped off northward. As I pushed my bike up the slip road away from the M6 a distraught woman cycled past me coming from the motorway! She stopped and explained that she had inadvertently cycled onto the M6. She was very upset so I tried to reassure her. This day can get no stranger I remember thinking just before a Highway Patrol Car pulled up and the Police Officer arrested us for cycling on the Motorway. To her credit the woman explained that I hadn't been involved in her wrongdoing and I was duly allowed to continue pushing my bike up the slip road towards Lakeland. As I pedalled up the ever increasing gradient I remember thinking that surely there would be no more trials and tribulations on this journey. I had completely forgotten about Kirkstone Pass!