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Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Die Hard 5.
However I am open to less worthy offerings.
BTW
Happy Christmas chaps
However I am open to less worthy offerings.
BTW
Happy Christmas chaps
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In reply to The Lemming:
I'll take your Die Hard 5 and raise you a Fast and Furious 7. 90 minutes of my life that i'm never getting back.
I'll take your Die Hard 5 and raise you a Fast and Furious 7. 90 minutes of my life that i'm never getting back.
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In reply to The Lemming:
Con Air was dire although Steve Buscemi provided some light relief with his comically dark portrayal of Garland Greene, this alone probably disqualifies it from being the Worst Hollywood Film.
Con Air was dire although Steve Buscemi provided some light relief with his comically dark portrayal of Garland Greene, this alone probably disqualifies it from being the Worst Hollywood Film.
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In reply to The Lemming:
Anything with Jason statham in it.
Skyfall was tripe too, which made the gap between expectation and reality even starker
Anything with Jason statham in it.
Skyfall was tripe too, which made the gap between expectation and reality even starker
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In reply to The Lemming:
I'll throw Battle Beyond the Stars into the mix, a film so awful it makes a party political broadcast seem like worthy viewing.
I'll throw Battle Beyond the Stars into the mix, a film so awful it makes a party political broadcast seem like worthy viewing.
In reply to The Lemming:
I think I must have a different conception of a terrible film than most posters here. I personally find nothing objectionable about Con Air, the various Fast and Furiouses, and the ouvre of "the Stath". To me, they are decent examples of what they are setting out to achieve: slightly tongue-in-cheek action. Nobody who watches any of those films has real grounds to complain - unless they have purposefully avoided every review, the poster, the cast-list... even the name of the film. I do not expect great action scenes from documentaries about failed marriages in Syria - likewise, anything beyond well-orchestrated head-kicking from a Hollywood action film is a bonus. What I really hate is films that are portentous, are asinine but pretend to substance, or just plain dull.
I think I must have a different conception of a terrible film than most posters here. I personally find nothing objectionable about Con Air, the various Fast and Furiouses, and the ouvre of "the Stath". To me, they are decent examples of what they are setting out to achieve: slightly tongue-in-cheek action. Nobody who watches any of those films has real grounds to complain - unless they have purposefully avoided every review, the poster, the cast-list... even the name of the film. I do not expect great action scenes from documentaries about failed marriages in Syria - likewise, anything beyond well-orchestrated head-kicking from a Hollywood action film is a bonus. What I really hate is films that are portentous, are asinine but pretend to substance, or just plain dull.
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In reply to thebigfriendlymoose:
Yup, pretty much all films that are not Withnail or The Wicker Man (original only) are equally shite.
Yup, pretty much all films that are not Withnail or The Wicker Man (original only) are equally shite.
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In reply to thebigfriendlymoose:
That says more about the other posters than you. Even any 'goodness' of a film is partly a matter of taste so those speaking simplistic certainty in a world of grey with no detail as to why and no hint of irony are normally to be ignored and where the certainty is negative are normally to be pitied (fans can be forgiven more).
For those more interested in some discussion on the subject, wikipedia, as ever, delivers:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_considered_the_worst
The last film in the list seems a peach: "United Passions".
That says more about the other posters than you. Even any 'goodness' of a film is partly a matter of taste so those speaking simplistic certainty in a world of grey with no detail as to why and no hint of irony are normally to be ignored and where the certainty is negative are normally to be pitied (fans can be forgiven more).
For those more interested in some discussion on the subject, wikipedia, as ever, delivers:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_considered_the_worst
The last film in the list seems a peach: "United Passions".
Post edited at 08:19
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In reply to Offwidth:
The inclusion of Heaven's Gate in that list is predictable but I sense a changing of critics' attitudes towards Cimino's leviathan and I for one have always thought it a brilliant piece of cinema in whichever of the many cuts I have seen it.
The inclusion of Heaven's Gate in that list is predictable but I sense a changing of critics' attitudes towards Cimino's leviathan and I for one have always thought it a brilliant piece of cinema in whichever of the many cuts I have seen it.
In reply to thebigfriendlymoose:
Had to sit through one of the transporter films once. On a long journey by bus in South America. If it was tongue in cheek i missed it. Just plain dull sums it up. Even the 'action' sequences were boring....
And as for sky fall- big chunks of the story rendered pointless by later plot turns (all that nonsense in the underground to create a diversion, then bardem's character just walks in the front door of the court with a sub machine gun- could have saved 20 mins of rushing about and unconvincing CGI if he'd just done that in the first place), and plot induced stupidity (the ending)
Of course all bond films have a dose of these, but they were saved by their tongue being in their cheek- the more 'serious' reboot needs better plotting if its not going to leave me throwing things at the screen...
(Under the same heading, see 'wolf creek'. Or rather, dont see it.)
Had to sit through one of the transporter films once. On a long journey by bus in South America. If it was tongue in cheek i missed it. Just plain dull sums it up. Even the 'action' sequences were boring....
And as for sky fall- big chunks of the story rendered pointless by later plot turns (all that nonsense in the underground to create a diversion, then bardem's character just walks in the front door of the court with a sub machine gun- could have saved 20 mins of rushing about and unconvincing CGI if he'd just done that in the first place), and plot induced stupidity (the ending)
Of course all bond films have a dose of these, but they were saved by their tongue being in their cheek- the more 'serious' reboot needs better plotting if its not going to leave me throwing things at the screen...
(Under the same heading, see 'wolf creek'. Or rather, dont see it.)
Post edited at 09:30
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In reply to Tom Valentine:
A few on that list seem to films that rile the critics that are not really that terrible.... but at least they say why they really dislike the films.
A few on that list seem to films that rile the critics that are not really that terrible.... but at least they say why they really dislike the films.
In reply to Offwidth:
They also fail to address the situation of a film so bad that it is good (the "guilty pleasure". "B movie sensation" effect). It all depends on whether a film takes itself seriously, or is clearly sending itself up. After all, no-one would call "Sharknado" a bad film - it is simply not intended to be thought to have any value by anyone, including the film makers and the cast (apart from the flying sharks of course - they thought it was their big break and were already anticipating sequels, prequels and Oscars).
They may be dreadful films, but like all awful art, can generate some poetry in the way they are derided : "not so much a film, more an appetite suppressant" was just one of the more choice phrases.
> ... those speaking simplistic certainty in a world of grey with no detail as to why and no hint of irony are normally to be ignored
They also fail to address the situation of a film so bad that it is good (the "guilty pleasure". "B movie sensation" effect). It all depends on whether a film takes itself seriously, or is clearly sending itself up. After all, no-one would call "Sharknado" a bad film - it is simply not intended to be thought to have any value by anyone, including the film makers and the cast (apart from the flying sharks of course - they thought it was their big break and were already anticipating sequels, prequels and Oscars).
They may be dreadful films, but like all awful art, can generate some poetry in the way they are derided : "not so much a film, more an appetite suppressant" was just one of the more choice phrases.
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In reply to no_more_scotch_eggs:
I can't say I have ever gone to a Bond film expecting realism or consistency - quite enjoyed Skyfall myself.
Quantum of Solace was far worse for me. Just dull with the central "baddie" aim lacking memorable over-the-top grandeur. It's a Bond film ffs. I want daft plots involving satellites, nuclear weapons, diamonds, gold, lasers.... not inordinately prolonged running around, fussing over the Bolivian water table. What next, Bond foils a plot to corner the world's titanium dioxide supply and doom the world's plastic door-frame suppliers?
Re Wolf Creek - I personally found it pretty repulsive and scary. Given that it was presumably made as a pared-down nasty horror film - I reckon it succeeded (basically a modern Texas Chainsaw Massacre). I have not thought about it since - so maybe it had profound structural problems I am unaware of. But, to my mind, to think about a film like that after the credits have rolled would be missing the point - such films are all about the immediate, visceral response - flinch reflex - not critical musings.
I can't say I have ever gone to a Bond film expecting realism or consistency - quite enjoyed Skyfall myself.
Quantum of Solace was far worse for me. Just dull with the central "baddie" aim lacking memorable over-the-top grandeur. It's a Bond film ffs. I want daft plots involving satellites, nuclear weapons, diamonds, gold, lasers.... not inordinately prolonged running around, fussing over the Bolivian water table. What next, Bond foils a plot to corner the world's titanium dioxide supply and doom the world's plastic door-frame suppliers?
Re Wolf Creek - I personally found it pretty repulsive and scary. Given that it was presumably made as a pared-down nasty horror film - I reckon it succeeded (basically a modern Texas Chainsaw Massacre). I have not thought about it since - so maybe it had profound structural problems I am unaware of. But, to my mind, to think about a film like that after the credits have rolled would be missing the point - such films are all about the immediate, visceral response - flinch reflex - not critical musings.
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Skyfall is far from the worst bond film, I'd say Die Another Day claims that title, the ridiculous tsunami surfing scene?
Con Air was a fun action romp, Wolf Creek should be applauded for it's 'didn't see that coming' ending.
The worst film I have seen in the cinema is the bore fest that was Babel. Nothing interesting happens and I couldn't care less about the characters. My girlfriend made me watch that over Casino Royale!
Now my ex-girlfriend.
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In reply to Simon4:
Indeed. Yet not all bad films seem so bad they are good. Sci -fi nd horror seem more reliable than most genres.
Some more good lists...
http://www.imdb.com/list/ls006801439/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Wood_filmography
http://www.gamesradar.com/50-worst-sci-fi-fantasy-movies-that-had-no-excuse...
Indeed. Yet not all bad films seem so bad they are good. Sci -fi nd horror seem more reliable than most genres.
Some more good lists...
http://www.imdb.com/list/ls006801439/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Wood_filmography
http://www.gamesradar.com/50-worst-sci-fi-fantasy-movies-that-had-no-excuse...
In reply to Smythson:
I'm with you on this one.
Yes you go in to it expecting an out and out action film full of over the top stunts but the stunts were far too over the top for me.
Push the bounds of credibility by all means but some of them were taking the piss.
> I'll take your Die Hard 5 and raise you a Fast and Furious 7. 90 minutes of my life that i'm never getting back.
I'm with you on this one.
Yes you go in to it expecting an out and out action film full of over the top stunts but the stunts were far too over the top for me.
Push the bounds of credibility by all means but some of them were taking the piss.
In reply to Smythson:
But surely anything with 5 or 7 in the title is guaranteed to be junk?
It is the equivalent of giving a film the title :
"We couldn't think of anything new and didn't want to take a risk, also we would rather have a guaranteed small success with a proven brand to cover our costs than risk a major flop, even if it might be a surprise massive hit, but we would rather play safe and hedge our bets and flog a known, safe option that can't fail completely, i.e we don't want to stick our necks out for fear they might get chopped off"
(Which admittedly doesn't exactly make a snappy title to put on a film poster or use as a trailer, but accurately sums up the reality in most film studios, especially when the bean counters get involved).
It is rather like Betteridge's law of headlines :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betteridge%27s_law_of_headlines
"Any newspaper headline that ends with a question mark can be adequately answered by the word 'no'".
> I'll take your Die Hard 5 and raise you a Fast and Furious 7.
But surely anything with 5 or 7 in the title is guaranteed to be junk?
It is the equivalent of giving a film the title :
"We couldn't think of anything new and didn't want to take a risk, also we would rather have a guaranteed small success with a proven brand to cover our costs than risk a major flop, even if it might be a surprise massive hit, but we would rather play safe and hedge our bets and flog a known, safe option that can't fail completely, i.e we don't want to stick our necks out for fear they might get chopped off"
(Which admittedly doesn't exactly make a snappy title to put on a film poster or use as a trailer, but accurately sums up the reality in most film studios, especially when the bean counters get involved).
It is rather like Betteridge's law of headlines :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betteridge%27s_law_of_headlines
"Any newspaper headline that ends with a question mark can be adequately answered by the word 'no'".
Post edited at 19:35
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In reply to The Lemming:
I walked out of "Cross of Iron" having thought it might be like Willi Heinrich's book, and also my wife and I both walked out of "Serenity". I came close to leaving "Minority Report"
I walked out of "Cross of Iron" having thought it might be like Willi Heinrich's book, and also my wife and I both walked out of "Serenity". I came close to leaving "Minority Report"
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In reply to The Lemming:
I was dragged to all three Lord of the Rings films, and slept through every one.
You couldn't make it up.
I was dragged to all three Lord of the Rings films, and slept through every one.
You couldn't make it up.
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In reply to The Lemming:
Casino Royale took me the closest to falling into a proper deep sleep at the cinema than anything else I've ever seen on the big screen, it's opening sequence rescues it from being the worst Hollywood film though.
I'd give it to Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Took me 3 attempts to get through it and I wish I hadn't bothered. That or anything starring Wil Smith.
Casino Royale took me the closest to falling into a proper deep sleep at the cinema than anything else I've ever seen on the big screen, it's opening sequence rescues it from being the worst Hollywood film though.
I'd give it to Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Took me 3 attempts to get through it and I wish I hadn't bothered. That or anything starring Wil Smith.
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In reply to thebigfriendlymoose:
Not seen QoS. If its worse than skyfall then it'll stay that way...
My immediate visceral response to wolf creek was fury that I'd been conned into wasting 90 mins watching it...
'Based on true events'- yes there have been backpacker murders in australia. but given that these are unsolved, and that both characters On the film get killed, how can it have been 'based on true events'? 'Completely fictional' would have been a more accurate summary....
(See also 'Open Water' for this irritating fiction-presented-as-based-on-real-events device)
And- the villain gets shot in the neck with a rifle. Victim doesn't even do the most basic of checks to make sure this has indeed been fatal, as it would have been if the laws of physics were anything like those here on Earth. Neck shot turns out to have been a mere flesh wound, and stupid Victims go on to meet their allotted fate....
Though now I've had time to think about it, emperor of tripe among films has to be 'The Hobbit' trilogy- a classic turned into a very extended video game advert padded out with bad fan fiction.
Kili: 'aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers'
Tauriel: 'or nothing'
Oh FFS.
Cheers
Gregor
Not seen QoS. If its worse than skyfall then it'll stay that way...
> Re Wolf Creek - I personally found it pretty repulsive and scary. Given that it was presumably made as a pared-down nasty horror film - I reckon it succeeded (basically a modern Texas Chainsaw Massacre). I have not thought about it since - so maybe it had profound structural problems I am unaware of. But, to my mind, to think about a film like that after the credits have rolled would be missing the point - such films are all about the immediate, visceral response - flinch reflex - not critical musings.
My immediate visceral response to wolf creek was fury that I'd been conned into wasting 90 mins watching it...
'Based on true events'- yes there have been backpacker murders in australia. but given that these are unsolved, and that both characters On the film get killed, how can it have been 'based on true events'? 'Completely fictional' would have been a more accurate summary....
(See also 'Open Water' for this irritating fiction-presented-as-based-on-real-events device)
And- the villain gets shot in the neck with a rifle. Victim doesn't even do the most basic of checks to make sure this has indeed been fatal, as it would have been if the laws of physics were anything like those here on Earth. Neck shot turns out to have been a mere flesh wound, and stupid Victims go on to meet their allotted fate....
Though now I've had time to think about it, emperor of tripe among films has to be 'The Hobbit' trilogy- a classic turned into a very extended video game advert padded out with bad fan fiction.
Kili: 'aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers'
Tauriel: 'or nothing'
Oh FFS.
Cheers
Gregor
In reply to wercat:
One of my favourite films ever - superb dialogue
I hated Sliding Doors, should have walked out of that. Miscarriage used as a convenient plot device.
> my wife and I both walked out of "Serenity".
One of my favourite films ever - superb dialogue
I hated Sliding Doors, should have walked out of that. Miscarriage used as a convenient plot device.
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In reply to The Lemming:
I've never seen Period, so I'm really in no position to judge the merits or otherwise. I'll just have to take your word for it being lamentable... I will, however, concede that menstruation seems a somewhat odd subject for a movie.
P.S. I assume that 28 Days Later was the sequel?
I've never seen Period, so I'm really in no position to judge the merits or otherwise. I'll just have to take your word for it being lamentable... I will, however, concede that menstruation seems a somewhat odd subject for a movie.
P.S. I assume that 28 Days Later was the sequel?
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In reply to The Lemming:
I can't believe nobody's mentioned Titanic yet; the only film I've ever walked out of twice (during the same screening!)
I can't believe nobody's mentioned Titanic yet; the only film I've ever walked out of twice (during the same screening!)
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In reply to john arran:
It says something when many wanted a really bad thing to happen faster so the pain would stop. Still its not a bad film, like most Mills and Boon, its just not written for the likes of us.
It says something when many wanted a really bad thing to happen faster so the pain would stop. Still its not a bad film, like most Mills and Boon, its just not written for the likes of us.
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In reply to PanzerHanzler:
Whenever there's a "worst film ever" thread on here (is it just my memory, or is the Lemming generally responsible for all of them?), the same thing always happens. Almost everybody ignores that and responds to "name a random film you didn't like" instead. Fairy nuff I suppose.
Battle Beyond the Stars was pretty cheesy, but to be the worst film ever it'd have to be worse than all the other sci-fi films rushed out in the aftermath of Star Wars.
Worse, even, than this: youtube.com/watch?v=pzfuNSpP0RA&
> I'll throw Battle Beyond the Stars into the mix, a film so awful it makes a party political broadcast seem like worthy viewing.
Whenever there's a "worst film ever" thread on here (is it just my memory, or is the Lemming generally responsible for all of them?), the same thing always happens. Almost everybody ignores that and responds to "name a random film you didn't like" instead. Fairy nuff I suppose.
Battle Beyond the Stars was pretty cheesy, but to be the worst film ever it'd have to be worse than all the other sci-fi films rushed out in the aftermath of Star Wars.
Worse, even, than this: youtube.com/watch?v=pzfuNSpP0RA&
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In reply to deepsoup:
Couldn't agree more and so with your comment in mind I once again nominate the 2009 David Carradine film "All Hell Broke Loose".
Couldn't agree more and so with your comment in mind I once again nominate the 2009 David Carradine film "All Hell Broke Loose".
In reply to The Lemming:
End of Days
Only film I ever walked out of, although technically it was more apathetic than that. I popped out to take a leak 10 minutes before the end and couldn't be bothered to go back in.
End of Days
Only film I ever walked out of, although technically it was more apathetic than that. I popped out to take a leak 10 minutes before the end and couldn't be bothered to go back in.
In reply to deepsoup:
Isn't that what the OP actually invites people to do?
Saw it at the ABC on Broadway in Bradford as a kid (or was it the Odeon???). It was in the days when you got a short film before the main event. The short film was 'Dark Star' by John Carpenter. Can't say it appealed at the time, but I love it now. I reckon my opinion of BBtS has gone in the opposite direction.
> Almost everybody ignores that and responds to "name a random film you didn't like" instead.
Isn't that what the OP actually invites people to do?
> Battle Beyond the Stars was pretty cheesy
Saw it at the ABC on Broadway in Bradford as a kid (or was it the Odeon???). It was in the days when you got a short film before the main event. The short film was 'Dark Star' by John Carpenter. Can't say it appealed at the time, but I love it now. I reckon my opinion of BBtS has gone in the opposite direction.
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In reply to 1poundSOCKS:
Agreed. In addition to this, most people won't have seen the worst film ever, and all they will have to go on is someones "worst films ever" list. We have IMDB and dozens of review sites for that.
> Isn't that what the OP actually invites people to do?
Agreed. In addition to this, most people won't have seen the worst film ever, and all they will have to go on is someones "worst films ever" list. We have IMDB and dozens of review sites for that.
In reply to The Lemming:
How on earth has this thread got this long without mention of, i dont know how i can bring my self to say it, Twilight. More like twishite!
How on earth has this thread got this long without mention of, i dont know how i can bring my self to say it, Twilight. More like twishite!
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In reply to 1poundSOCKS:
Is it? Ah who cares, it's just another Lemming thread.
Wow. I'm not surprised it didn't appeal to a cinema full of kids. That film is s-l-o-w. (It isn't short either, is it?)
If all the philosophical, existential guff is going over your head what's left? Just the comedy sequence with the alien in the lift shaft I suppose. (I love it too, btw, but fear my pathetically withered 21st century attention span isn't up to getting the most out of it these days. ;O)
I realised I've nominated Star Crash several times before in these threads, so I'm going to change my vote, go off piste a bit and suggest a four part TV mini-series that I accidentally caught a bit of last year. "Impact". It's an apocalyptic asteroids-on-collision-course-with-the-Earth type thing, but so mind-bogglingly stupid it makes that appalling episode of Dr Who where the moon turns out to be a giant egg look scientifically rigorous.
> Isn't that what the OP actually invites people to do?
Is it? Ah who cares, it's just another Lemming thread.
> The short film was 'Dark Star' by John Carpenter.
Wow. I'm not surprised it didn't appeal to a cinema full of kids. That film is s-l-o-w. (It isn't short either, is it?)
If all the philosophical, existential guff is going over your head what's left? Just the comedy sequence with the alien in the lift shaft I suppose. (I love it too, btw, but fear my pathetically withered 21st century attention span isn't up to getting the most out of it these days. ;O)
I realised I've nominated Star Crash several times before in these threads, so I'm going to change my vote, go off piste a bit and suggest a four part TV mini-series that I accidentally caught a bit of last year. "Impact". It's an apocalyptic asteroids-on-collision-course-with-the-Earth type thing, but so mind-bogglingly stupid it makes that appalling episode of Dr Who where the moon turns out to be a giant egg look scientifically rigorous.
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In reply to Got a job rob:
Agggg
How dare you!?!
I thought I'd wiped this teen angst sh1te from my mind. I like a good vampire movie with the best of them but one with teenage angst wrapped up in mills and boons is too much for my furry brain to cope with.
The Lord of the rings is also up there and can be summed up as follows.
Film 1
I have a ring. I lost the ring. Fight, fight, fight.
Film 2
Fight, fight, fight.
Film 3
Fight, fight, fight. Found the ring in my pocket.
Obviously I could have made that synopsis more succinct, and surely the director could have done the same with his nine hours of film?
> How on earth has this thread got this long without mention of, i dont know how i can bring my self to say it, Twilight. More like twishite!
Agggg
How dare you!?!
I thought I'd wiped this teen angst sh1te from my mind. I like a good vampire movie with the best of them but one with teenage angst wrapped up in mills and boons is too much for my furry brain to cope with.
The Lord of the rings is also up there and can be summed up as follows.
Film 1
I have a ring. I lost the ring. Fight, fight, fight.
Film 2
Fight, fight, fight.
Film 3
Fight, fight, fight. Found the ring in my pocket.
Obviously I could have made that synopsis more succinct, and surely the director could have done the same with his nine hours of film?
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In reply to deepsoup:
I think it was a shorter cut of the full film, but only guessing, I was born in '71 so it was a long time ago.
I took it as a black comedy, bit of a p!ss take/homage to 2001 (although this was when I saw it on DVD about a decade ago). My username on UKC was Bomb20, before I changed it.
> It isn't short either, is it?
I think it was a shorter cut of the full film, but only guessing, I was born in '71 so it was a long time ago.
> If all the philosophical, existential guff is going over your head what's left?
I took it as a black comedy, bit of a p!ss take/homage to 2001 (although this was when I saw it on DVD about a decade ago). My username on UKC was Bomb20, before I changed it.
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In reply to 1poundSOCKS:
Ah. According to Wikipedia it was shorter when it was originally made on 16mm, then more was added later when it was converted to 35mm.
Both fair comment I'd say. I'm a few years older than you, can't for the life of me remember whether or not I saw "Battle Beyond the Stars" at the cinema though. Suspect not, I think I probably saw it on the telly a year or two later.
Bomb20 was a cool username.
(1poundSOCKS is also a good 'un.)
> I think it was a shorter cut of the full film, but only guessing, I was born in '71 so it was a long time ago.
Ah. According to Wikipedia it was shorter when it was originally made on 16mm, then more was added later when it was converted to 35mm.
> I took it as a black comedy, bit of a p!ss take/homage to 2001 (although this was when I saw it on DVD about a decade ago).
Both fair comment I'd say. I'm a few years older than you, can't for the life of me remember whether or not I saw "Battle Beyond the Stars" at the cinema though. Suspect not, I think I probably saw it on the telly a year or two later.
Bomb20 was a cool username.
(1poundSOCKS is also a good 'un.)
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In reply to john arran:
I've managed to avoid it, but how can you walk out of the same screening twice ? What was it that made you go back in ? Did you decide you really wanted to see how it finishes (spoiler alert - the ship sinks) ? And did they charge you to go back in ?
> I can't believe nobody's mentioned Titanic yet; the only film I've ever walked out of twice (during the same screening!)
I've managed to avoid it, but how can you walk out of the same screening twice ? What was it that made you go back in ? Did you decide you really wanted to see how it finishes (spoiler alert - the ship sinks) ? And did they charge you to go back in ?
In reply to Got a job rob:
Agree x a thousand! Just awful.
> How on earth has this thread got this long without mention of, i dont know how i can bring my self to say it, Twilight. More like twishite!
Agree x a thousand! Just awful.
In reply to The Lemming:
I forgot something that really should be mind bleached from time.
Cowboys and aliens.
Here are the only good bits. All 2 minutes of them
youtube.com/watch?v=zH7KZD5vGBY&
Aggggg
I forgot something that really should be mind bleached from time.
Cowboys and aliens.
Here are the only good bits. All 2 minutes of them
youtube.com/watch?v=zH7KZD5vGBY&
Aggggg
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In reply to The Lemming:
"On Golden Pond". Maybe not the worst Hollywood film, but surely for a saccharine and schmaltzy puke fest, it has few, if any equals.
"On Golden Pond". Maybe not the worst Hollywood film, but surely for a saccharine and schmaltzy puke fest, it has few, if any equals.
In reply to Gwain:
Is that a trick question?
Alright, go on : "what about it?".
And while we are about it : "have you stopped beating your wife?".
> What about 'Passenger 57' ?
Is that a trick question?
Alright, go on : "what about it?".
And while we are about it : "have you stopped beating your wife?".
Post edited at 14:41
In reply to Got a job rob:
It is just possible, or at least a plausible hypothesis, that climbers, especially mature climbers, are not the target market for the Twilight films.
Calling a film dreadful just because it is clearly aimed, and well aimed, at a niche market (angst-ridden, moody teenage girls in this example), that you are not part of does not make it , per se, a dreadful film if it does its job correctly. It is simply unwatchable by you or me.
> i dont know how i can bring my self to say it, Twilight.
It is just possible, or at least a plausible hypothesis, that climbers, especially mature climbers, are not the target market for the Twilight films.
Calling a film dreadful just because it is clearly aimed, and well aimed, at a niche market (angst-ridden, moody teenage girls in this example), that you are not part of does not make it , per se, a dreadful film if it does its job correctly. It is simply unwatchable by you or me.
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In reply to Removed Userena sharples:
That was the first ever VHS film that we ever rented. ET being the first ever HVS, which like everybody else that saw it was a pirated copy.
We eventually went Betamax as it was a better format. Doh
> "On Golden Pond". Maybe not the worst Hollywood film,
That was the first ever VHS film that we ever rented. ET being the first ever HVS, which like everybody else that saw it was a pirated copy.
We eventually went Betamax as it was a better format. Doh
In reply to Chris the Tall:
I was there with Anne and after about an hour I couldn't take any more so I told her I'd go for a walk and see her afterwards. Nearly an hour later I returned, only to then find out that the bloody thing was 3 1/2 hours long! So I barged my way in, waving my ticket and ignoring the staff protestations. Twenty minutes more dire manufactured sentimentality and I lost the will to live yet again, so made a more effective arrangement with Anne and bade my leave for good.
> I've managed to avoid it, but how can you walk out of the same screening twice ? What was it that made you go back in ? Did you decide you really wanted to see how it finishes (spoiler alert - the ship sinks) ? And did they charge you to go back in ?
I was there with Anne and after about an hour I couldn't take any more so I told her I'd go for a walk and see her afterwards. Nearly an hour later I returned, only to then find out that the bloody thing was 3 1/2 hours long! So I barged my way in, waving my ticket and ignoring the staff protestations. Twenty minutes more dire manufactured sentimentality and I lost the will to live yet again, so made a more effective arrangement with Anne and bade my leave for good.
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In reply to The Lemming:
I can't believe nobody has yet mentioned Battlefield Earth. It's that bad it goes full circle through good and back to bad. I can't even watch different films with John Tavolta in without feeling angry. Terrible.
I can't believe nobody has yet mentioned Battlefield Earth. It's that bad it goes full circle through good and back to bad. I can't even watch different films with John Tavolta in without feeling angry. Terrible.
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In reply to The Lemming:
'Lovelace'....left a bad taste in the mouth, the 'Plot' was hard to swallow!
'Lovelace'....left a bad taste in the mouth, the 'Plot' was hard to swallow!
In reply to The Lemming:
Vahalla Rising I found to be completely unwatchable and devoid of any merit though it is more art house than Hollywood. It has its supporters though and I probably disliked it even more as I felt mislead by the summary on the DVD.
Vahalla Rising I found to be completely unwatchable and devoid of any merit though it is more art house than Hollywood. It has its supporters though and I probably disliked it even more as I felt mislead by the summary on the DVD.
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In reply to The Lemming:
I'm not sure if it's the worst film ever made but I accidentally saw Iron Sky recently and I sat through the entire thing transfixed by it.
Nazis invading earth from the moon? A black guy turned white in Nazi medical experiments? Really?
I can only assume it was a real-life attempt to deliberately produce a film designed to offend as many people as possible, as per the plot of the Producers.
I'm not sure if it's the worst film ever made but I accidentally saw Iron Sky recently and I sat through the entire thing transfixed by it.
Nazis invading earth from the moon? A black guy turned white in Nazi medical experiments? Really?
I can only assume it was a real-life attempt to deliberately produce a film designed to offend as many people as possible, as per the plot of the Producers.
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In reply to The Lemming:
Top Gun. That film is just so wrong in every way. Tom Cruise at his slimeball worst.
Top Gun. That film is just so wrong in every way. Tom Cruise at his slimeball worst.
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In reply to RichardMc:
I watched it last week for shits n giggles, quite enjoyed it. So what if the portrayal of climbing is shit.
I watched it last week for shits n giggles, quite enjoyed it. So what if the portrayal of climbing is shit.
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In reply to stp:
I despise the film and all that it stands for - but there is absolutely no way it is the worst Hollywood film.....FULL STOP
I despise the film and all that it stands for - but there is absolutely no way it is the worst Hollywood film.....FULL STOP
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In reply to Dave Garnett:
I really liked Iron Sky, particularly because it took the pee out of much of US culture. Sarah Palin as president and her re-election campaign: Black to the Moon. Great satire.
I really liked Iron Sky, particularly because it took the pee out of much of US culture. Sarah Palin as president and her re-election campaign: Black to the Moon. Great satire.
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In reply to stp:
Blasphemy!
> Top Gun. That film is just so wrong in every way. Tom Cruise at his slimeball worst.
Blasphemy!
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In reply to The Lemming:
Many of these choices fall into the the category of 'went to see Arnie film and was sad to see an Arnie film'. Like Pacific Rim, giant robot suits to fight giant alien monsters or Cowboys vs aliens, epic films so long as your expectations match what's delivered.
How about Prometheus.
Cheers
Toby
Many of these choices fall into the the category of 'went to see Arnie film and was sad to see an Arnie film'. Like Pacific Rim, giant robot suits to fight giant alien monsters or Cowboys vs aliens, epic films so long as your expectations match what's delivered.
How about Prometheus.
Cheers
Toby
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In reply to The Lemming:
Sorry everyone, I could have saved you all the bother as this is one of those things where there's a definitive answer, it's RevolutionRoad (2008).
Congo is a distant second
Sorry everyone, I could have saved you all the bother as this is one of those things where there's a definitive answer, it's RevolutionRoad (2008).
Congo is a distant second
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In reply to stp:
Hmmm. You're right, it did include some satire. Mostly it proved that it is still possible to shock without pornographic sex or violence just by epic bad taste and that it's possible to be unfunny despite being ridiculous.
> I really liked Iron Sky, particularly because it took the pee out of much of US culture. Sarah Palin as president and her re-election campaign: Black to the Moon. Great satire.
Hmmm. You're right, it did include some satire. Mostly it proved that it is still possible to shock without pornographic sex or violence just by epic bad taste and that it's possible to be unfunny despite being ridiculous.
In reply to The Lemming:
I think I win...
Doctor T and the Woman
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0205271/
You'd think with a cast like that, certain to be great - not so!!
I think I win...
Doctor T and the Woman
http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0205271/
You'd think with a cast like that, certain to be great - not so!!
In reply to The Lemming:
Wheres the Blue Straggler when you need him?
Star Wars Ep VII was up there.
D
Wheres the Blue Straggler when you need him?
Star Wars Ep VII was up there.
D
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In reply to john arran:
Why did you go back in?
> I can't believe nobody's mentioned Titanic yet; the only film I've ever walked out of twice (during the same screening!)
Why did you go back in?
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In reply to Dauphin:
He likes that Star Wars (and argues well for it and against the knee jerk nonsense dominating this thread.)
He likes that Star Wars (and argues well for it and against the knee jerk nonsense dominating this thread.)
Post edited at 14:15
In reply to Trevers:
You're not from around this internet way are you?
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rtft
> That conveyed no information to me :S
You're not from around this internet way are you?
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=rtft
In reply to The Lemming:
I can only advance as answers the two worst Hollywood films that I went to see at the cinema. They may yet be some distance above those I wouldn't go near.
1. The Green Mile
A thoroughly dishonest film in which nice Mr Hanks is a warder on death row, with added nonsensical magic and nasty voyeurism. That character, if he was that nice, would not work there. He would be out campaigning for the abolition of the whole place.
2. Prometheus
I cry every time when Saladin says "I am not those men" at the denouement of Kingdom of Heaven, I know all the words to Gladiator, and I love the tennis match (and more, especially Jemma) in A Good Year. So how could Ridley Scott make something as bad as Prometheus? There is no tension, an interplanetary mission is crewed by dimwits that never do anything that makes any kind of sense, and we are expected to believe that you can just run around, moments after a self-administered caesarean in which you beget a monster.
I can only advance as answers the two worst Hollywood films that I went to see at the cinema. They may yet be some distance above those I wouldn't go near.
1. The Green Mile
A thoroughly dishonest film in which nice Mr Hanks is a warder on death row, with added nonsensical magic and nasty voyeurism. That character, if he was that nice, would not work there. He would be out campaigning for the abolition of the whole place.
2. Prometheus
I cry every time when Saladin says "I am not those men" at the denouement of Kingdom of Heaven, I know all the words to Gladiator, and I love the tennis match (and more, especially Jemma) in A Good Year. So how could Ridley Scott make something as bad as Prometheus? There is no tension, an interplanetary mission is crewed by dimwits that never do anything that makes any kind of sense, and we are expected to believe that you can just run around, moments after a self-administered caesarean in which you beget a monster.
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In reply to mbh:
Yes but look at the title of the original post title again.
Like a lot of other people on here you are venting your dislike of a particular film which disappoints you.
To actually nominate the worst Hollywood film you've ever seen you would, in all honesty, have to dig a bit deeper than Green Mile and Prometheus.
Same as me, I hate Top Gun , it's a shite jingoistic piece of drivel but there is absolutely no way it's the worst film I've ever seen.
Yes but look at the title of the original post title again.
Like a lot of other people on here you are venting your dislike of a particular film which disappoints you.
To actually nominate the worst Hollywood film you've ever seen you would, in all honesty, have to dig a bit deeper than Green Mile and Prometheus.
Same as me, I hate Top Gun , it's a shite jingoistic piece of drivel but there is absolutely no way it's the worst film I've ever seen.
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In reply to Tom Valentine:
But that takes all the fun out of it. Sure, nobody's ever going to agree on the worst Hollywood film of all time because all of the truly awful ones were so miserably bad they never even made it to general release and were seen by only 25 people or so ever, so what we're really talking about here is the worst film you've ever seen that, bafflingly, not everyone seemed to agree was pants.
But that takes all the fun out of it. Sure, nobody's ever going to agree on the worst Hollywood film of all time because all of the truly awful ones were so miserably bad they never even made it to general release and were seen by only 25 people or so ever, so what we're really talking about here is the worst film you've ever seen that, bafflingly, not everyone seemed to agree was pants.
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In reply to john arran:
" The Worst Film You've Ever Seen That, Bafflingly, Not Everyone Seemed To Agree Was Pants."
Sounds like an OK title to me, bit of a mouthful but at least it ends in a full stop.
" The Worst Film You've Ever Seen That, Bafflingly, Not Everyone Seemed To Agree Was Pants."
Sounds like an OK title to me, bit of a mouthful but at least it ends in a full stop.
In reply to john arran:
If you want to have fun be honest its fun by making the comments fun. Sadly worst films claims on threads of this type are usually projecting ego in dull humourless ways.... its like chalk scratching down a blackboard to real film fans.
Mind you, just saw Revenant ... the most impressive film Ive seen at the cinema in the last 12 months ... and this has just been dammed as "pain porn" in an Observer article... maybe I like secretly like chalk screams.
If you want to have fun be honest its fun by making the comments fun. Sadly worst films claims on threads of this type are usually projecting ego in dull humourless ways.... its like chalk scratching down a blackboard to real film fans.
Mind you, just saw Revenant ... the most impressive film Ive seen at the cinema in the last 12 months ... and this has just been dammed as "pain porn" in an Observer article... maybe I like secretly like chalk screams.
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In reply to Offwidth:
I have absolutely no idea what that means (apart from all of your punctuation keys needing a service) but I suspect that, whatever it means, I probably would agree with it.
> If you want to have fun be honest its fun by making the comments fun.
I have absolutely no idea what that means (apart from all of your punctuation keys needing a service) but I suspect that, whatever it means, I probably would agree with it.
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In reply to Tom Valentine:
+1, Heaven´s Gate is one of the better Western movies (even if the original is way too long).
CB
+1, Heaven´s Gate is one of the better Western movies (even if the original is way too long).
CB
In reply to The Lemming:
and even worse, in the end they decide to deliver the ring by eagle mail, which they could have done right away, saving everyone the hassle.
> The Lord of the rings is also up there and can be summed up as follows.
> Film 1
> I have a ring. I lost the ring. Fight, fight, fight.
> Film 2
> Fight, fight, fight.
> Film 3
> Fight, fight, fight. Found the ring in my pocket.
and even worse, in the end they decide to deliver the ring by eagle mail, which they could have done right away, saving everyone the hassle.
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In reply to The Lemming:
Braveheart - so far removed from the true history, yet a number of people will assume it to be true.
Braveheart - so far removed from the true history, yet a number of people will assume it to be true.
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In reply to The Lemming:
I'm not sure exactly which film is the worst, but it has definitely got Nicholas Cage in it. In fact is is almost certainly 'Wings of Apache'. A film so bad it had its name changes for DVD release to 'Firebirds'...
I'm not sure exactly which film is the worst, but it has definitely got Nicholas Cage in it. In fact is is almost certainly 'Wings of Apache'. A film so bad it had its name changes for DVD release to 'Firebirds'...
Post edited at 13:05
In reply to Removed User:
Or Simon Pegg
> I'm not sure exactly which film is the worst, but it has definitely got Nicholas Cage in it.
Or Simon Pegg
In reply to Removed User:
Surely Nicholas's acting is even more wooden that Keanu Reeves?
> I'm not sure exactly which film is the worst, but it has definitely got Nicholas Cage in it.
Surely Nicholas's acting is even more wooden that Keanu Reeves?
Post edited at 13:20
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In reply to Temp Lemming:
I bring to you... Point break. Amazing film. Apparently number 2 is about to drop and Sharma had a big role in advising on the climbing scenes?
And for what it's worth... Mr cage is a badass.
> Surely Nicholas's acting is even more wooden that Keanu Reeves?
I bring to you... Point break. Amazing film. Apparently number 2 is about to drop and Sharma had a big role in advising on the climbing scenes?
And for what it's worth... Mr cage is a badass.
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In reply to elliott92:
I feel Mr Cage is somewhat like Bruce Willis taking in the full spectrum of film quality. Who can forget his batman like character in Kick Ass. Kick ass? Mmm more like ass kick.
Cheers
Toby
I feel Mr Cage is somewhat like Bruce Willis taking in the full spectrum of film quality. Who can forget his batman like character in Kick Ass. Kick ass? Mmm more like ass kick.
Cheers
Toby
1
In reply to Toby_W:
... and yet, for me, Leaving Las Vegas was a great example of how Hollywood can produce fine movies as long as it steers well clear of the guns and cops stereotypes. Maybe one for the Great Movie Soundtracks thread too.
... and yet, for me, Leaving Las Vegas was a great example of how Hollywood can produce fine movies as long as it steers well clear of the guns and cops stereotypes. Maybe one for the Great Movie Soundtracks thread too.
In reply to john arran:
My apologies, tablet use and fading eyesight. My space-bar, comma and "m" like to share. Really just one intended comma swapped out: If you want to have fun, be honest its fun by making the comments fun. In other words, who gives a shit if x just says y is crap (there is no fun in that)
My apologies, tablet use and fading eyesight. My space-bar, comma and "m" like to share. Really just one intended comma swapped out: If you want to have fun, be honest its fun by making the comments fun. In other words, who gives a shit if x just says y is crap (there is no fun in that)
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