In reply to Steve Perry:
That's exactly the kind of vegetable I need for my soup. Well done, sir. How are the Rhinogs in February? I've not spent any time there since I was around seven years old, and only then in the summer...
You win today's joke:
A squirrel is sat chomping on his nuts in a pine tree. Suddenly, the tree starts shaking violently, and he looks down to see an elephant climbing up into the lower branches.
"Oi!" the squirrel cries, indignant. "What are you doing?!"
"Ah, hello." the elephant calls back to him. "I'm climbing up into this tree so that I can eat some pears."
"What the hell are you talking about?!" shrieks the squirrel, hopping up and down. "This is a pine tree, not a pear tree!"
"Oh I know," replies the elephant. "I brought my own pears."